I feel so stable
but i know it won't last
I keep my arms out
for balance alone
I'm trying to grab on
to keep myself still
I'm on this rope
above everyone else
and if i fall
ill be alone

I guess starlight doesn’t work
The moon is shattered
And the stars die out
Forty-five minutes of sleep
Is how much I get each night
Never a minute more or minute less

The girl by the window,
You remember her,
I thought she was kind and good
But I guess that was a lie
I didn’t know I told
She used my faults against me
And turned me inside out
My pride, still unbroken
My trust, smashed down
If this is what she wanted
Guess what?
You succeeded
Guess what girl by the window?
I’m still sour; I’m so sour
Wanna use my disease against me?
And then apology like it was nothing?
Complain to one of our mutual friends?
About how “you don’t understand”
Clearly you don’t,
You underestimated me
I may be over dramatic,
I may be careless,
I may be senseless,
I am faulty
I am diseased
I am broken
Yet I am me

I don’t wanna back down,
but I have too
You broke my trust in you
And my love and like in you
I didn’t dislike you,
I didn’t shame you,
I didn’t do anything,
I was playing around, joking
And yet you think I was serious.
I understand it was fine,
But for now I want to be alone,
I want to think
I want to feel again
I want to be able to trust again
Thank you,
Girl by the window
For making me think again
For making me feel again
I feel myself grow
I feel myself again
I feel whole and broken again
I feel free again.

I'm cold in this loose jacket
sour when eating butterscotch
scared when I smile
but i'm hopeful
with my poetry
I want to help people in words
I can't do it all in person
It's better when i stay anonymous
I'd rather stay inside and chat online
As people in real life seem to dislike me
therefore other i can help others like me
and we can grow together, peacefully.

My seat is by the window
I get to look out into a parking lot
Many cars are parked out there
I can't seem to want to be here
I relate to the red one in the back
It's cracked and has no plate
It's lights are shattered
and its bumper is bruised
I wonder who drives it

I know the girl in front of me
She's nice as can be
She sits by the window too
And i see her also writing poetry
I wonder if she would share hers,
if i shared mine, but i can't
Mine are too sad, and hers look light
I don't want to ruin another's life

I'm trying to hold onto a rusty bar,
hanging off the edge, over a sea of hands,
they grab onto my legs and try to drag me down
my rusty bar breaks, and as i fall
a single tear slips

I don't fear death, but i don't want to die
I don't care about how they judge me
And i won't even try to change for them
I would rather die

I hold onto a broken bridge,
one that was once white with splendor
but bricks get mossy, and i slipped
into a rushing river in tar

Time stands still, as i sink
I hear nothing now
And i'm glad
Because they can't judge me now