Midnight routine, checking my phone
As I stumble upon old pictures of you
It reminded me its ***** being alone
Smile, while the tears flow through

Playlist full of sad and sappy songs
Memories of my time with you filled my mind
The rain starts to pour and the cold breeze joined along
Overwhelmed by emotions, never forget the heart reminds

I yearn to be in the center, to be in the spotlight
Burdened by my unpopular features
But with courage and passion I will take flight
Holding back, anxiety and seizures

There will be a slight delay but I will arrive
It might take long , maybe even a year or two
Bringing along dreams and promises as my drive
Even if along the path I’m to be seen a fool

If perchance someone gets ahead of me
With all that I can, I’ll seize the center
Even if I have to face the very worst
And if I cannot, I shall wait for my time to enter

Every night when I try to sleep
I am met by unpleasant memories
Drowning in it, that is ever so deep
Suffocating, accompanied by anxiety

Its nothing supernatural, just the past that i cannot let go
The failures and mistakes, that shackles my happiness
Live and let go but I’m  stupid enough to let it flow
It is not simple or maybe it is, the cause of my loneliness

I’m blessed with friends, but this heart craves more
Which lead to this event that prevents me to be happy
Stuck in a loop, trying to open a locked door
It needs a key, with all that I’ve done, It doesn’t seem to be me

As I awoke, I was welcomed by the vast sea
Laying on soft sand filled with rocks and debris
Whilst the sun and its rays are staring at
me
I could find a shade but then again I have no reason to flee

As the sun sets and the moon looms above me
And without a single source of light, I was left in the dark
Feeling the cold grip of the night, paying the terrible fee
Had I been more prepared when I decided to embark

As the night sets deeper, and the silence became deafening
I wonder if I will come out of this with my sanity intact
My eyes grew weary staring at the void, whilst my body is trembling
Not from the cold, but from the absence of contact

A foolish ploy I enact for escaping
Proclaimed that I have moved on
Knowing to myself that I’m in ruin
Crying over a couple of beers listening to sad songs

Showed everyone that I’m fine and sane
But to be honest, I’m enduring my bane
As the mouth can always deceive
The eyes can tell how a life is lived

There is no escaping from the truth
No matter how much I run and hide
Unconsciously, I go down the same route
Truth be told there’s no restraining these feelings inside