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Roman Mar 2019
An interest in indifference
Beneath my heart
I arrived alone
From the very start

Interested in difference
The sun was on my way
To hold my breath before I'd speak
To match my mind's forte

Touch

The certainty as a child
was brusque in all it paid
Gathering for keeping's sake
made keepsakes that have stayed
The nostalgia of my age

The heart would pool fully
Parents not at peace
Gripping my blanket's corners
My size–it would decrease
My ripples were at ease

Interestingly indifferent
It gave me all I made
It justified the center
of mistakes I had to make
The rock
The bus
The kid
The cuts
The run
The door
That turn
The anti-yearning
The core
The burn
That art of learning
Roman Apr 2023
Her hand was on her heart
My fingers curved on hers
My mind was not relentless
Her hesitation well deserved
The strings and stones that cut her
She’s a girl that knows a ruse
My heart has been so broken
I hardly sought the glue
I give because that’s all I can do
We must give to receive
I disregard the ledge because we must leap to believe
I trust she must be for me
Her hand lay on my chest
I see her like she’s naked
With my hand upon her breast

We see what we want to but what exactly must we see?
When we fill our voids with people that fill their voids with being seen
She tempts the gem within me
She’s fought for what she’s gained
A man is not the answer so consider me a train
I ride my tracks through midnight
Never stopping in the rain
It’s why I am the man I am
I feel she’s done the same
I do not want to be boxed in
I want to feel her like a fist
Her eyes, they tell me loudly
There’s a Ruby in the midst
Roman Jun 2018
Four white walls, one straight noise
Artificial girls always pick on the boys
Four worlds out, one world in
Four is more if one is gone and none begins to spin
You are me and I am you
And I'm with us that orbit you
Stare and glare don't weep and moan
To no surprise you've wet your eyes and now deserve a throne
I will walk away alone
I would put my hands together, knee to ground to knee
But with so many Gods, and so many streets, how can one God bleed?
I believe in me
Imaginary crickets - they sit on swings and kick their legs
They watch and wait for me to wake and chirp throughout my day
I stand tall - a thousand craters in my hands
For what they've done is dark and bland - attempt to understand
I am only a man
Sarcastic spies hold eyes that lie and lips that follow suit
Tongues will roll but karma's bold - enough to come back through
I see your cuts and scabs construed but souls, they do not bruise
It's very cold when past is present and future is bad news
I wish I had some food
I am hungrier than you
A very lonely time in my life. Written roughly 10 years ago.
Roman Jun 2018
The sun leans on the roof of Wanted workers
The money they make is built on the money in graves
Protest signs in dumpsters
Astrology signs in caves
The strings; they are pulling
The strong; they are ashamed
The weak; they are to blame
Baby doll has no name

I've been here once before and I'll never be again
I've said that once before. This time I'll hold my breath
It's certainly her body. Is it then her soul?
Is the fault that of the master? He must be in control
I'll tell her it's alright, but the truth is I don't know
Baby doll is not alone
Baby doll does not know

The sun bends past the roof
The money has been made
Protesters have been mistakes
New parking's being paved
Baby dolls don't have a face
They are personified
Baby dolls can not feel pain
The master forces hand
Baby doll's not in the plan
Roman Jun 2018
Time has been still for far too long

It's time to stand still and prove time wrong

I haven't moved in 2 years, now I hope I'm strong

If I'm not, I do not belong

I feel the time I've spent is rock, I can't know what to do

But when I spend my next few years I hope I live them through

I hope to do the thing I never had the heart to do

I hope to push through you and blue and prove the life I knew

I want the life of admiration, the one with excitement

Not the boring illegitimate shroud of gloom and tint

The one that fills your mouth with ****. In the end, you learn to spit

The now and then of every day where you've no clue what you're to get
Making hard calls.
Roman Sep 2018
Be kind, please rewind
To a time when time was all but nine
A time that filled itself with pride
A pride that fulfilled itself through mine

Be kind, please remind
To a mind that cleared itself at night
A faux pose in pictures, an absent sight
Like motion pictures with a lack of light

Be fine, redesign
An erasable head with a rolling supply
A post to guide my fixed eyesight
The tension is pinned between plastic and life

Be mine, realign
Our love's been layered, wound and shy
The price we paid to play it, right?
The tape is thin, we rolled our die

Be blind, believe in eyes
Alive and across a long divide
that ceased to exist outside of the tide
The place we are hidden that no one can hide and the place we all seek that no one can find

The godwashed

Just rewind. Be kind.
We ask the cosmos for only what we can fathom.
Roman Aug 2018
The rustic sheet of a door screams as we pull it like a scab
We step inside this warehouse can
Two floors - we're holding hands
His eyes lit like a crescent Moon - excited, he yells "daaad!"

Our head, like swaying swing
We see it all, tongue in cheek
Like controls without the freak
It's so much fun it stings

An asymmetric wasteland
Convenient and distorted
The walls - bleak and boarded
A symbolic sleight of hand

This is where we feel
My father's on the catwalk
Like paranoia paraphernalia
My son's grip tightens, it's the only thing that's real

Absolute felicity
To realize what I have in the confines of my hand
Imperfection in the making - he doesn't understand
Skylarking permissably

A reverie to remember
His smile - sifting through his eyes
Warm, he maneuvers like the flies
He was born in December

Moving closer to my father
He's amidst the in-between
Consistently foreseen
His motion is no bother

He steps along the ply
Somehow keen in his demeanor
Four-years-old, but greener
Tossed and turning - it's the gleaner

The sheet has been disturbed
He's falling to his death
I'm blanketed in sweat
This cannot be deserved

My father's eyes - they match my own
I tear through the distance
Foreseeing and consistent
My father is a witness

The fear - he's fighting falling
We've never known it more
His tiny hands just wishing there were nails
Collective - we're losing all things

I grasp a finger as he falls but not enough to bring him back
My son approaches pavement as it fills my throat the same
I look him in the eyes as they melt away in pain
My body wakes without my mind - hysterically screaming  "DAAAD!"
This happened to me. I awoke, but it didn't make the memory any better. Only the ones to come.
Roman May 2020
It was random
I can't stand em
They're inside my head
I don't panic
I'm interplanetary
Soon we'll all be dead

I was walking on the sea and I'm swimming in the street and I'm simultaneously fraught with nothing
I am yearning for this thing that is deep inside of me but I'm philosophically codependent

I am not ok
Everything's alright
I am not ok
I been dreamin'
I got dreams and I'm slow as I am proud
Temptation lady
You persuade me; your thoughts are all too loud

I am not ok
Everything's alright

I have managed
To abandon
The reasons I move on
There's a bandage
For all the damaging
parts I've found so far

I seen her walking by; didn't look her in the eyes and I knew it was a lie but I was looking at her thighs

She said I like your smile and I really like your style and I've known you for a while let's just do it on the tile

I said I don't even know where I am at
She said don't worry I'm never coming back
I said I don't think you really understand
She said don't worry I'm not here to hold your hand
And then she showed me that we are only ruling our mistakes
She pulled me closely, whispered slowly "bend it if it breaks"

I am not ok
Everything's alright
I am not ok
Roman Jun 2018
Drifting behind me

She'd come to trample my mind

Her whim overwhelmed
A haiku seems appropriate.
Roman Jul 2018
Her hair: intertwined with mine like fine lines in disguised pines
Our lives: making life like lovers do - letting our mistakes live to let ourselves

Who's who in this zoo built for two?

Will I find time to find the kind of mind that pries at mine despite the time I've formalized into time I can't divide?

I try to meet ends with the women that I meet, really never knowing me - like a fish without a sea and falling bird without a breeze - easily bequeathed with ways to satisfy and please

I evaluate the fragile and get diagnosed a cynic
I empathize with strength but get too into it to win it
I believe that I am different for the sake of being different but if everybody's different, then everybody isn't

I feel it is my life, and it's none of my ******* business

Hopeless romantic
I hope it's not malignant

Hope less, romantic
Roman Mar 2022
I want to spin wildly, to shake myself to the very core. I want nothing more in this moment, and the punishment is that I'm motionless. Calm.

I can't move.

Not so much as a single breath to grant myself the energy to eviscerate my desire. I am a stone wishing to be water and the pain is that I'm drowning in it's absence. Forget the things you know and remember what you don't. Nothing in this plane has ever made me more alone.
Roman Jun 2018
I unconventionally condescend to a bitter result daily

I wake and conspire a conclusion for faith

Placed at attention are my facts; I have few

Till Quaint Malaise fades, there's nothing called new

Though outcomes occur, a fortune seems scarce

I'll hope it's oblique and my scruples are lies

To condole for oneself is to wish conscientious disdain
Roman Jun 2018
Ignoring most the heart-held hate
I kiss her face and love the taste
Beholding hands that **** and won't
Love is just a subtle loan
Inside the skies lies endless cries
Music comes and music dies
Infants grow just like mistakes
Reverse the age and compensate
Futuristic toolsheds that **** the men and take their bread
Pouring blood and tears and sweat, do we complain when we get fed?
Ask acrylic paint to see
A beautiful picture with beautiful trees
With beautiful water on beautiful seas
On a beautiful day with a beautiful breeze
Now ask that same paint to bleed
For the endless death and haunting screams
For broken hearts and shattered dreams
For all false notions between the seams
This is the world of reality
Roman Mar 2019
I wrote a song about you
The first I've ever done
I've been playing seventeen years
You'll never hear it sung
If I have to breathe the lyrics
I'll set fire to my tongue
I never talk about myself
because then you could not run

I'm a lie behind a fountain
The sun is to the moon
I hate the outer space
I lay inside—entombed

The granite cast of actors
Their eyes are made of gold
I'll take their scripts and hearts and souls
and sell them for more gold
Your smile led me in circles
You sought for what you sold
It was simply circulation
Your hands were awfully cold

Take it while it's cold
It still won't splatter
Drink it on the stove
It still won't matter
Seal it's lips to kiss
It still won't chatter
Raze it's crops to dust
It still won't gather
Strip it from its lenses
It still won't stare
Rip it from the moonlight
It still won't glare
Take it like a pill
It won't be taken lightly
It's in my heart—in yours
It will never grasp you tightly
It's never holding still

You simply can't deceive it
It just misunderstands
What's wrong with you, is wrong with me
You lack the essence of a friend
Things grow from roots that split
The strand means to an end
I don't like to say favorite
It has a way of changing plans

I'll look down at you
"Your hair—it still looks nice"
You'll look down at me
I won't be looking twice
Roman Nov 2020
You're ugly from an angle
You don't reflect enough
Your choices are so loud
Yet they still lack any sound
I'm not so Ptolemaic
You're not a Galilean
I'm not at all judgmental
I am honest. Maybe humble
You're weak below the knees
You're smug and overweight
You don't respect advice based on the mouth from which it came
I'm walking alongside you
I choose to be so close
It might be most absurd but know I love you more than most
Roman Apr 2019
My thoughts fly to rise
I push my eyes to blind
Even when I close them
I see you in my mind

I wrestle with my logic
The bar is set for fools
Mistaking beauty–for you
The bar has been removed

I wonder what you wonder
I wonder how you stare
I wonder why I wander into tables that are bare

I wreak of incompletion
My goal was in your eyes
I wonder if I hurt you more than pushing eyes can blind

The world is ever turning
The oceans fall and rise
Maybe it's the land that moves–the ocean cannot decide

— The End —