A friend that I had a lot in common
A friend that saw their old self in me
A friend that knew I was alone
And a friend that always had my back

We'd read books
We'd write poems
We'd watch movies
We'd talk about everything

But it was when we got too close
Too close that made me feel afraid
Too close that I distanced myself
Too close that I often never replied

He knocked at my door, I never opened
But he still cared
He said I'd call him, I never did
But he still cared

I know I've changed
But now I saw him happy
Happier than being with me
So near yet so far

Now I opened my doors
But he wasn't there
I tried calling him
But he wasn't there

Now I regret
That I long for that friend
I had a friend
That friend I took for granted

Are you thinking right now?
I guess you are
Was your decision worth it?
Or was it the worst you've ever made?

It seems like you're thinking about things
over and over and over again
Every detail every scenario every little thing
You can't bring back the past, can you?

What if you try something
Will that ever change anything?
Will it change your current state?
Will it be worth your choice?

You can't even decide between two things
Whether you're gonna go or not
What if that decision was the worst
And the other was the best

Lonely, you're fed up by thoughts
Constantly analyzing and ever wondering
the mistakes you've made
And up until now, you're still thinking about it.

Two perspectives of two words
that people's perspective think it's just one.
Two words that make everything
seem like nothings happened

When I feel like they care
and when I feel like I matter
When actually they don't
and when actually I don't

I thought about it
is it worth their time
Are their eyes openly blind to see
Or are their ears loudly deaf to hear

The screech of emotions in me
Internally screaming the words
The words that kept me from
being me

I don't think I need to tell them
It doesn't matter anyway
With a smile I say
I'm fine