And I sat on the shore
Watching the families
The mothers greatness and deep love
Fathers fountains of knowledge and abundance of affection

And I wondered

What if I'd have been chosen
To be a mother
To care for a child
My child
A million times more than I'd ever cared for myself

What if the mountains had realised that I too was strong enough of heart
Brave enough of soul
Overflowing with courage of the ocean
Capable to create a bond
Never to be broken

What if I'd been gifted a child
A moment so precious, tender
Instead of the loss
Empty womb
Dark spaces
Always checking
what I may have forgotten
something missing
Never awoken

I've learnt to catch the water from my eyes
and replenish the sea
Strong tears are needed
For the heart to be free

Never knowing is destruction
Always wondering is pain
Emptiness is darkness
But I've learnt to smile
In these moments of rain

And my head may rest
Where the ocean kisses the sand
And you may find me
Between my heart
And your hand

Your hand that grips mine
And I'm safe down on the shore
The ocean calls for my soul
But my heart cries for you more

Will you take the place
Of the waves beneath my feet
Take the moon and her tide
As my independence, gently retreats

If I don't have love
To hold onto my feet
I will fly too high and
forget how to land

But my feet need only
to be held lightly
So that I may still
flutter and dance

My wings need to be free
Clipping them only
dampens my spirit
But please hold softly
to my toes
So I know, that love
Waits near below.

Living demons

I read you
over
and over
and over
again
I read you so violently
.....so vividly
You are viscous
Vile
Venomous

Raging red mist
Clouds my vision
Your viscidity allures my fury

....and I would **** you

....I would not stop

Fingertips of razor blades
Knuckles to the bone
Spitting tears
Mouth foaming
Veins protruding with every single
Stab

.....And I would **** you

......I would not stop

Infiltrated by evil
Life for a life
Death hath no fury for what I will commit
......I'm already dead

......And I would **** you

.......I would not stop

And after....,
I would light up a smoke
And finally breathe from the heart you broke.....

I killed you .....

And I did not stop....

Best friend poem

And just as I felt myself fall
as the tears fell hard to the floor
and my heart unraveled it's stitches
And crawled out under the door

Instinctively you just know
That everything isn't ok
That life has forgotten to love me
So you pick up the phone and say...

The words they come easy
Like my favourite book to read
Familiar, fun and carefree
And finally I can breathe

And my heart returns with a new beat
As my smile turns wide as the sea
Because I'm your Thelma
And you're my Louise
And that's how it will always be...

(But without the suicide 😂)

And I am glad
After a possible 60 years
With the man I love
That the world won't comment

That the people won't discuss
How I should feel
How my children should feel
Because I wasn't born to the public

Oh my gladness
Oh the relief
That I was born of the working
That memes will not terrorise my family
And my great loves will not suffer
As your patriarchy bestows