I’m malleable
A Chameleon in heart
You can undo me

*** cheeks

Sometimes I see my life slide away and get stuck
Like the hair that slides down your back in the shower and gets stuck between your *** cheeks

But I love to pull that hair out and toss into the bin
So time and time again I pull the hairy bits of my life out of the cheeks of this world
And toss them into lord knows where....
But at least they’re away from me!

✒️Self forgiveness

She woke alone
lying naked
her mattress bare
except for
the lonely echo
of her beat-less heart

A calendar
void of any dates
hung solemnly
above her bed
Invitations
had
gradually ceased to arrive
no calls
no letters
no texts
found their way in
through her damp
dark walls

Years of guilt
had
led to a mountain
of unwritten RSVPs
as she hid
her self-hatred
from any
that endeavoured
to help

Convinced
By emptiness
Convinced
By a colossal

Void

Grown tough
Evolved stern
Solid
Vacuous
Dead

Awoken
By a softening
tenderness that
was not of her own
She became still
Her spirit
Her soul
Inhaled
Exhaled
Into her heart

today
was different
somehow
Today
she felt the ocean waves whisper to her soul
“Come to us and forgive”
“Come to us, and forgive yourself”

She felt the warmth
from the tiny pebbles
beneath her
as she connected
with nature
She found
her way back
to her heart

The rescue

My severed starved soul
sought solace within your eyes
When my broken bloodied heart
had banished hope from too many lies

My culled but courageous cries
reached out for your hands to save
Your voice, tone and warmth
taught me to love, to fight, to be brave

Fear vanished from my eyes
As you wove through my pain
with your soul
I was reborn, rebuilt, reclaimed
I am yours, you are mine
We are whole.

Poem-Without you

Heart shattered
Brain smattered
Insides drowned in fear
Can’t breathe
Won’t believe
Can not persevere

Insides raw
I’m too flawed
A waste of space in time
Devil waiting
Instigating
I will surely die

Nails exposed
Comatosed
Blinded by the light
Breath drowning
Soul frowning
Can not find the fight

Dreams dark
Torn out heart
Can not find my breath
Veins thick
Stomach sick
Dreaming of my death

We are monsters
You and me
Those non believers
The real life dreamers
They can’t conceive us
Too blind to see

We are monsters
We live below
Blackened mirrors
Cold dark shivers
The pretties don’t hear us
Our hearts can’t glow

We are monsters
We sleep alone
We dance underground
Our hearts wrapped around
The silence of sound
We’ll never be known

My heart needs nothing but you, my love
My dreams of castles and fairytales are no more
For you fill my head completely, my love
You are my fairytale
and my castle forever more

My soul no longer searches for its mate, my love
For it now resides within your soul
My fear no longer engulfs me, my love
For you’ve replaced it with a love I’ve never before known

I would die without your love, my love
My mended heart would shatter
and wilt
You are the glue that keeps me whole, my love
My broken life you have beautifully rebuilt

I yearn and ache for the day, my love
When you ask for my hand for life
There is nothing I was born for more, my love
than growing old as your faithful wife