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victoria Oct 2017
Long forgotten by everyone
Slumped on the street
They had injected her
Left her contorted
They had made her weak

How dare you judge
knowing nil of her dark past
If you knew
You wouldn't walk by
You'd see behind her vacant mask

Vulnerable and scared
She clung to every lying heart
Older than her years
New to the street
Stranger to the dark

You think you know her
From behind your ignorant desk
Your life an easy ride
You know nothing of her Mr
All she knows is wanting death
victoria Oct 2017
She woke before the birds one morning, and she was as light as the sunbeams creeping over the horizon.
It had been a lifetime since her smile was wider than the ocean, since her heart felt free.
No longer caged in behind her walls. No longer contained, unable to reach out for freedom.

She had sat within the molten air.
She had reached out blindly, and stroked its black velvety walls. She had listened to the masked voices.
And she had separated herself.

She had cradled her sadness and pulled it close.
She had sheltered it from the claws that had threatened to ****** it away.
And she'd saved it so that she could learn to love it.

She chose a new way.
She had pulled at the light and had drawn it to her core.
She found her bravery from the kind, supportive hearts that surrounded her, each and every day.
Her constant: Her friends.
She cut out and stitched over the patches of guilt, jealousy, fear and uselessness.

She had awoken.
She was reborn.
No longer afraid.

She had chosen to sit in the darkness.
She had chosen to feel it.
To reach out and touch it, and to listen to it.
She had not sent it away; she had taught herself to separate from it.

Again the brilliant sunshine rose, which had blinded her only days before.
This time she didn't turn away. This time she allowed it to reside deep within her, as she held it close.

She now loved both the light and the dark.
And she had new knowledge.
For she realised, that one could not exist without the other.
victoria Oct 2017
Vast approaching, carnivorous clouds
set to surround her
Choking her with their black ****
pregnant with both child and fear
she is unable to protect what she holds deep within her
Evil screams at her every turn she is lost
and she has nowhere to run

His putrid stench has returned
It resides within him
Redolent of whiskey
Nicotine stained
And she wants to retch
He has invaded her
****** her sanity
He can barely walk
He is disgusting

She fights with reality, desperate to disappear
Meditates to another land
Where her body is vacant and alone

To be pregnant with evil
Is to be punished
She can not be loved

His veins reach out and engulf her with such venom
That her throat is choked with
his sticky sour blood

Dying is her only chance
But her life is cruel
She must endure his foul, stinking breath
His beatings
His abuse
Desperately hoping, praying
That someone would **** him...
victoria Oct 2017
I wish

I wished for you when I was 5
And you came to me
You were still alive

I wished for you when I was 7
I missed you deep
But you'd gone to heaven

I wished for you when i turned 18
I had lost control
Didn't know where I'd been

I wished for you when I turned 25
When I'd jumped to end things
But remained alive

I wished for you when I was 28
And I was in love
I thought it was fate

I wished for you when my heart fell out
Smashed on the floor
I couldn't search you out

I wished for you in my 30th year
So lost and alone
Feeling nothing but fear

I wished for you but I'd lost control
Too many drugs
My life a lost soul

I wish for you now but I know you won't come
My life is my fault
What is done is done
victoria Oct 2017
I fight you in the morning
I fight you before I sleep
I fight you when I'm lonely
In pain or feeling weak

I fight hardest during the dark
It gets easier during the light
But the grey days are the tricky
ones
These days I strengthen the fight

I fight because I'm worn out
And it would be easier to leave
the daily pain and struggle
behind a long forgotten dream

I fight you for the people
That I would leave behind
But to fight you for myself alone
The reason I can't find
victoria Sep 2017
I love you
I've never met you
But I love you

I've seen your face in beautiful strangers
I've kissed your lips in my dreams
I've touched your face deep
within my heart

I won't give up on you
Because I long to kiss you
I live for you
I'd die for you
You are my life's work

I won't give my heart
until I can give it to you
And if you don't come
My heart will stay hidden

I am yours

Don't take too long
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