The light awoke gracefully as it gently rose up
so pure, and so beautifully bright from behind the calming blue horizon.
Grand and vast in its presence.
It was a sight to behold, that could heal the darkest of days.

She could feel it from behind as she walked, warming her swollen mind.
And she knew that all she had to do
was to turn
To let go
reach out and let it engulf her.
Saturate.
To enter deep inside her worn out body and wrap itself lovingly, around her torn soul.

She new that in its brilliance, deep within it's warm and loving beams
It could heal her.

But the enduring familiarity of the darkness, was calling to her yet again.
It's voice masked with a calming lure that had for many lives, led to a false feeling of safety within its carnivorous, colossal walls.
An imprisonment that made promises with no intent to commit.

Light has always prevailed over darkness. But when darkness bleeds inside a vessel with a heart and mind as strong as she possessed, light has to work a lifetime harder
Indurate this troublesome being.

Within her shattered trust, she struggles to believe that the light is forceful enough. As darkness rubs its beastly hands, in its vast approaching victory.

Once again she is still
The light willing her to one side, and darkness enticing her to the other.
Heart fighting over mind.
Angels fighting with the fallen. Tears escaping within the struggle.

The battle had commenced.

Their voices call to every atom of you, they're never to resist.
Their musical tones, their faces kind, the amber behind the mist.
The tips of their wings, wave silently below, their beautiful form beneath the turquoise glow.

Their pull is so intense, you won't believe how strong, begging you to join them, down deep where you belong.

You're desolate and desperate, you can't believe your mind. The wanting you feel to join with them, to see what lies behind.

They promise you eternal life, all you need is trust. But someone shouts you from the shore, you turn around, you must.

Lay down beside me
my love
turn your limbs to become mine
wrap your skin and hold close, to bond yourself to me
Let the light within you dissolve into me
and feel warm.

Lay down beside me
my love
Let your breath flow deep into my breath
help me be still
as mine will surely fail before dawn.

Lay down beside me
my love.
Let my soul teach to your soul, every beautiful word
every song and every thought of kindness
Keep searching for great hearts
and be brave.

Lay down beside me
my love
Push your heart within me
to beat as mine begins to fade. Let us be one
just as the first time
As this my darling
my other
my fallen half
will be the last scene
in a life very few will conceive.

Lay down beside me
my love.
Feel how great we are
Never let that greatness fall. Remember me clearly with eyes of love and see what I see. Never mistrust your deepest thoughts
they are our thoughts
we built them together.

Lay down beside me
my eternal love
I have not let you down
The light I give will be your strength
My deepest thanks to you
my love
For you
my fallen half
is what made my heart so beautiful.

How does one dress for Brighton
I really can't figure it out
One minute I'm dressed for rain
Next minute the sun has come out

How does one dress for Brighton
Bright rainbows the colours of Pride
Or blues, greens and whites
Like the waves and the sea so wide

How does one dress for Brighton
Im unsure of the weather today
I think I'll just wear whatever I want
Take my new coat, and go out to play

Today she wrapped her arms around her fear, and she thanked it

Yesterday, as she lay in bed, and during a new meditation she'd found, she was reminded of her fear.
This fear, is of not being good enough for people to love.

She craves for love, like many of us do.
A lost but familiar drug.
It haunts her, yet she is unable to fully accept it when it appears.

To the outside, all looks great.
She has a new man, or a new friend.
And immediately, crashing waves of love, she hurls at these people.

She pushes them way up high, and fills them with pressure.
The pressure of healing her.
Of gathering up her pieces and gluing her together with their love.

There is a pattern. It's rooted as deep as the memories of an old spirited tree. A tree rooted over too many years. Struggling to stand with the knowledge embedded within itself.

Then once again, she meets someone. And she falls in love ❤️

Her ego dances with joy. Her heart somersaults in ecstasy.
Her fear is gone? Or so she feels. And all in her magic kingdom is beautiful again.
The grey walls of her life are a dazzling bright white. And she is free.
This person she then fills with her desperate love, her hopes and dreams, and her need to quieten the fear, until they can't breathe, bursting at their seams.

This 'filling up' of people, wears them down. The relationship rips at the edges. She senses this and her fear applies more pressure within this filling up.
The torn seams become gaping black holes.
And she has lost.

The pattern needs to be broken.
The fear wants her to hear it, to take notice. And so it sends her love after love followed by rejection after rejection.
Until she hears it banging on her soul.

So she is teaching herself to love this fear. To read it as an old book and to learn from its pages.
As each time her heart is broken, rejected. It is fear teaching her that she doesn't yet love herself fully.

The heartache is there to remind her that there is still much work to be done.
That there has to be this darkness, to let the light in.
That trying to hide from the pain, resenting it, or getting angry with it. Does not serve her.

She will have love; she will find her magic and she will let in the light.

Today she wrapped her arms around her fear, and she thanked it.

Love is the answer ❤

She was strong now.
She stood taller than the mountain that once towered above,
where down on her knees,
she used to pray.

The days she'd knelt down and curled away from the light,
were a distant memory.
Now the light flooded her,
until the tips of her fingers fizzed
with the new life she held inside her soul.

She'd written away the fear from deep of inside herself.
She'd written until all the ink, in all the pens she owned had run dry.
Until her fingers bled and her mind emptied.

She stretched out and then she held on tightly to the love that now engulfed her,
and she smiled.

A small joy had revealed itself and she danced to the sound of long awaited relief.

She was now the mountain.
She would endure all weathers. She would house those in need. She would search deeper inside of herself,
of her heart and she would become kinder,
more understanding,
and would bestow more love.

There were still times when she had to fight.
Times during the storms,
when she just wanted to let go and return to the old familiar patterns,
and the safety of her old misery.

But she did not return,
not fully.
And she knows she never will.

Love is the answer ❤

Did you pray for me
***** knees
Spliff hanging out
Smoke in the breeze

Did you pray for me
Lick the glass clean
Bottle empty
Last night just a dream

Did you pray for me
Old hands upon your skin
Allowing them inside you
Self respect gone from within

Did you pray for me
Rolled twenty in your hand
Powder running low
This wasn't what we'd planned

I prayed for you
Your heart smashed on the floor
The men that were too old
The drugs and your lust for more

I prayed because I love you
And I know you love me too
Deep behind your wounded soul
Life returning back to view

I pray because we are one
We can't survive alone
I pray because you are enough
It's time now, please come home.