If I once again saw the sullen and timeworn eyes resting not quite comfortably beneath his meager gray mane

I would be ever so quick to believe that his all too familiar, yet paternally foreign face has surely seen better days

Days which I for many a nights had precariously pondered the choice I had made

To not chase but to erase such a great yet fleeting charade

What I once held onto dearly as a weekly escape, a glorious escapade we could never sustain

I reached my hand to lock fingers with yours
But your palms stayed face up as you lied on the floor
I realized then that I could never be yours
A love swayed by freedom, and you stayed still at the core

The allure of your spirit was the same dark hand
That pushed me away into a violent wind
As I cry for your name, you forgot who you are
Blissfully so, I can only watch from afar

I watch you fall for the endless sky
Wishing to see you come back to the ground
You loved not direction, for it was merely a tie
A loving soul like mine would only bring you down

I was on the inside, looking out
You were on the outside, never to be found

these are not things you will always be able to control
but they are all apart of you
some good, some bad, some you may not even be able to tell
but i promise you, one day you will learn to love yourself for it all
because love is beyond admiration through a narrow lens
love is simply knowing everything about someone, and still wanting to give them everything
at least i think thats what it might be, either way
i'll always love you

oh wondrous failure
such timid people dressed in tattered cloaks
onset dread
must we have all our friends be quantified
can you fall asleep in the clouds without falling to your death
i guess it’s no problem when you can’t see the ground
but it’s no rush to climb upwards when you can’t go any further down
as callous as we are contempt
as longing as we are forbidden
as suffering as we are performing
reaching endlessly for wasted light,
i’ll continue searching
and searching
and searching
until i find a shape that fits this withered soul

perhaps we’re stuck
on seeking out a mirror image
of our own fractured souls
is it enough to make us whole?
someone to give us an arms length
but never hold us too tight

oh how i’ve missed you,
the scent of your somber
how i could fall into your wandering eyes
i deserve this, don’t I?
it’s just like mum said
you love the beautiful lie
but paint dries,

then it cracks


guess it’ll do for now

Erase everything

Pulling apart to find nothing

Endlessly tearing

Compulsively

I need to stop

Shouldnt you be doing something else?

Lets think about that for a minute

Arent you bored?

Are you sure this is what you need?

Why is it always about what you need?

Do you know what you want?

Would you believe me if i told you?

Would you even try if you believed me?

Wouldnt it fall through if you did?

Would it matter anyway?

Oh god, is this what you’ve been doing?

Lets think about this for a minute

Its three in the *******

You only think about yourself dont you

Are they good for you?

Are you good for them?

Let’s think about that for a minute

Aren’t you…

Hey whats that behind you

a place id been before
my aching arms
never felt so warm

a face id never seen before
will this be the one?
can i show you how I got here?
promise me you won't think I'm weird...

Heterochromic moral dysphoria yields unwavering entropy
A mind begging to be freed from wanting to be free
Love breeding guilt breeding shame breeding waste
A vessel of represed
lust
Halt indulgence
only to be found,
Not heard
screaming
This is progress,
this is your life

Did I want to be trapped?
Don Shackles of mundanity,
dragging every ounce of wistful languor
They’re all so happy,
was that the point?
Did i trample your precious dreams
so i could eat?
Onset tyranny,
unwillingly bequeathed

Never to hold you, never to leave you be
Only to be sure they never see me

Cultivate a faithful divide
The work of God
can’t ever make you
whole,
so dig through
every fracture
you could have burned
in an iridescent
vessel of vacancy

you two, sitting in a field at midnight staring at the stars
hands held just right, fingers interlaced and clenched so tight
you could die right here
eyes locked together, bodies locked together
you know everything about each other
the love, the pain, the stories
like two broken pieces form fitting
you wanted the nervous tension , the sweat from your hands makes you scared to touch but you do anyways
the smell, the touch, the whisper in your ear, the moon to let you see just enough.
every living thing circles around you two and for one perfect moment you are the center of it all, and the best part, you didn’t even ask for it. god himself looked down upon you and gave you permission to love, to melt together like it’s what you were always born to do. every inch of you is every inch of me. every sound you make is mine. every bone in my body moves for you. the grass underneath us carries the weight of our entire lives and the earth swallows us whole.

but usually we just chill and watch the sopranos