Breathtaking
Her curses
And form
She cracked
The mold
When she
Was born

Into the
Heart of man
Arrived
She slipped
Within
Their night

She fell
from grace
Inside a storm
Cursed be man
For now
She's torn...

The dogs of living
Come biting
In the end


You laid
With your lovers
Now wipe off
That grin

We all grow old
And we all must force

A thankful smile
At the end of our course

All the while knowing
Where you really rather be

Is in the middle of life's ocean
Drowning in time's sea
...

Hidden behind the silence
Of brushstrokes whispering
Shivers in darkness
Silent shallow screams

There's an unrest in your silence
In every word you breathe
A vein of darker wisdom
You've gathered empirically

Echoes in the nether
Fester in your pen
As shadow images await
  To plague your poems again...

Puppets we are, being strung along
By the unseen forces of nature
Beyond our mortal control
With a desire to remain forever young
Yet against our will, we continue to grow old

The strings get cut yet the nerves still twitch
Perhaps to return somewhere our souls itch
Lost in this bottomless pit of dream
And blinded by all these things

If the puppet master were I
I wouldn’t allow anybody to die
Even if you told a thousand lies

And at least you'd know
The true face of your maker
And if somebody broke I’d be the breaker
Yet I wouldn’t be offended by the foresaker

But I’m only a puppet to blind to tell
Isn’t that the real hell?

Vaguely I recall
My thoughts before the fall
A world view
So wide yet dim
A simple conformance
To a world I was living in

And you
Chemically produced
Passion induced
Love was real
As real as a pill
Oh how I remember
The thrills

Our eyes
So bright and wide
Midnight moons
Amplified
Endless summer skies

Hearts entwined
In temporal bloom
Sat in stone
And doomed to ruin

Quickened
In love's embrace
The fires were fed
In flesh and lace

Memories infused
With the essence
Of gods
But in the end
Love was just a facade...

I apologize
If I seem removed
From certain subjects
That I find don't amuse

But it's on to the next
A safe choice you bet
Why should I stop to drool
It's not always about
   You know who...

Humbly I admit
The brilliance of gifts
No matter world view or scars

Open to learn
My heart twists and churns
Experiencing empathy through art
...

11-28-04


I watched you kick, you moaned and you sweat
I gave you all the pills I could get
I let you complain, ***** and than whine
I let you steal my only dime

I let you kick out on my couch
You deceived, you lied and made me vouch
Watching you kick was not a pretty sight
All your demons, all trying to bite

I helped you kick until you finally got right
So why are back at the dope house tonight?

What can a poor man
Offer you for your birthday?
Birthday wishes
To help dreams come true
Plenty of love
For all that you do
Peace and serenity
And passionate affection
Hmm, there was one other thing
Oh yes … an *******!

(DIAPHANOUS)
Sep 15, 2014

This is that part of me
I’m not afraid to expose
A glimpse of my nakedness
A composition I compose

Freely I share regrettable mistakes
Lapse in judgment, slaps in the face
Rather you identify Or quickly deny
These are issues and battles of life.

Creativity comes in darkness
As well as in light
Fear not the lack of morals
As the Poets take to flight...

She would not answer
Her cell phone
I told myself It didn't matter
In my mind she was there
With another man
Leaving my voice all but gone
My heart beating in unrest
How did I let her
Get this far inside my head?

9-24-04


When I was a little boy
I fell for a young girl so promiscuous

She taught me a thing or two
I thought to be ridiculous

Looking back I clench my fist
It seems I was so **** naïve

I’ve never met a girl since then
   So open and eager to please...

And these bottom lines
I so vaguely define
Full of missing spaces
Vanished in time
Perhaps too much of me
On these pages to bear
My ink pen desperately
Pleading for air
Still my heart
Revisits despair

And where is the empathy
You said was missing
After a cold hard look
At my dispositions
Shall we still pretend
That a heart can truly mend
I'd love to embrace
Such a beautiful end

For my falsehood
I'd surely atone
But these unfinished poems
Get written in Rome...

Echoes of the past
Mixed with new memories
We are only here for a little while

Weather on the way
More work than play
Until, that is...
The Spirit start's to smile
...

I remember the cage
Soul slipping
Through cracks
Body trapped
In silent rage
I succeed
These facts
Never forget
Never get back
The less you say
The less they know
So spare the lecture
And off you go
I remember the cage!

By a breach of trust
A now lost soul
You can't get back
What the Devil stole

I long to right
The wrongs of time
To be forgiven
For my worst crime

Yet for every moment
Every memory stained
No matter how apologetic
The blemish remains

Forgiven but not forgotten
The injured heart still grieves
No matter how long you spend
  Down on your knees...

Behind reason
Fear resides
Under an illusion of control
We walk tall into nights

Where entropy awaits
The ashes of stars
I fear a new existence
Means less than we are

And so here I try to imagine
What more there could be
In the end of all I know
Fear resides within me...

As for the aesthetics of religion

Even though I don't believe

If it's beautiful, I will listen...

Dread is alive
Roaming the earth

Feeds on low vibes
Oppression gives birth

Without a warning
Beyond a clue

Dread is a cold night
   Waiting for you...

Run and play now
Poetic child

But beware the dread
   Behind a smile...

Pardon us
Worlds apart

We didn't have
Your interests at heart

This isn't an apology
From the right or the left

This is simply a eulogy
Of democracy's best

We missed the oh cue
Scratched on the eight

Surely we should have seen
The flip side of fate

Yet to regain control
Can be so submitting

But on the greener side of the grass
   We hope to be *******...

Did I tell you my truth
Did I tell you my lie
Does it matter to you
If I keep it inside

We all get to know
These things in the end
Does it matter to you
If I only pretend

I read what you said
About writing the truth
And how
Creativity is measured
Under your roof

But here in the real world
There's no reason or rhyme
Why must you be
Yourself every time?

Sure
It all sounds good
The rules that you make
Stuck in your boxes
Lost in your faiths...

I have written this letter of my impending death
Of my own will, my delusion, in my last breath
A spear breaches the armor, pain penetrates the soul
I bear this wound in horror and march on through the snow

Oh, that I were home with you
Blessed to be of the surviving few
To live the dream of freedom’s bliss
To escape the ink of death’s list

There the young shall fear no more
The old shall rest with unlocked doors
There I shall play guitar and sing
And through the walls our laughter rings

Friends and neighbors shall smile and wave
There upon fresh linens we shall lay
To sleep the dark and rejoice the dawn
There the ties to life hold strong

Yet these tides have turned against the meek
My burning eyes grow tired and weak
I fear the cold has come to stay
And the blinding night has replaced the day
I attempt to hide in my pretense
But the storm is nigh, the fog grows dense
Redeemer of these fallen stars
The sky grows darker where you are
By these sands of time running low
I’m not so far from letting go

An enemy dances at our gates
Internal bigotry, fear and hate
Our children die in foreign wars
And here we ask "what was it for?”
Until at last we are no more

Upon the sea wall the breakwaters pound
She holds my hand my soul is bound
A salty summer breeze,  fresh and alive
Her hair blows wildly across the sky

A beacon buoy dances upon the ocean swells
Anchored to its destiny attempting to rebel
Seagulls attracted by its ringing bell
They take their haven in this beacon’s hell

Her brown eyes scan the horizon then back at me
I don't know what she sees in me
Truth is I hunger to be free; you know, like the sea
Yet like the buoy I could never leave

I start to say, you know our dreams are quite insane
But she quickly covers my mouth, “Shhh, do you want it to rain?
The sun is shining, the sky is blue and I will always love you”
I think to myself, what more could I ever want to hear
Still my heart is somewhere out there

And again the hungry sea calls out to me
Take a chance and come be free
Yet then again, where would I be
But alone upon the hungry sea...

It's so hard to say goodbye
Hearts get broken
Tears get cried
It's been that way a billion years
There's just no way
To stop those tears

I'm so tired of letting go
Of all the dreams
We'll never know
I wonder why the hurt lasts so long
It's been years
Since you've been gone

It's not so easy to find new love
That special someone
That fits you like a glove
I guess my heart just won't be tamed
It always pours
Whenever it rains

It feels so good when things are fine
Two people treating
Each other so kind
Drawn like moths into a burning flame
A billion years
   And nothing ever changed...

As a parent of sound mind
I instilled the need to be kind
To stand up tall and show respect
The way I was taught more or less

The streets are plagued with dark desires
A cold rainy haze of muck and mire
Where dreams of youth are put to rest
As a parent I had tried my very best...

I wrapped you in protective arms
Sheltered you from a world of harm
Squeezed you tight until you burst
As a parent I am the worst...

Within a paradox
Behind misguided thoughts
A rational mind
Can get twisted and caught

What would the world be
If freedom wasn't large?
Dictators and oppressor
Leaving historical scars

Yet it seems freedom
Has failed humanities test
Perhaps the evil free
Are too **** blesses!

To rationalize
I abstain
To imagine
Can drive one insane
And so from passion
I shall refrain
As I head to
The voting booth
...

I dreamt about true love so deep I cried
So beautiful and unattainable, still I tried
I tried to hold on as long as I could
Yet my words are so often misunderstood...

If I could somehow confess
My heart is fine I guess
The more or less I care
The scars will always be there
There's no anger in my emotions
   Perhaps I lack devotion
I've no mind for revenge
To keep me stumbling within
...

Doubt becomes apparent to the intellect
Time becomes linear mingled with despair
A mathematical description of our universe
Such a lack of comfort for anyone to bear...

No silver lining in the purity of knowledge
No true magic in the music of the spheres
No supernatural state awaits our arrival
There's no perfect day without you here...

The more I search the deeper my groan
There's no turning away from the light that's shone
The wider the span the less my life means
I feel as if I awoke from a beautiful dream...

If you ever catch
What mine eyes see
Stand there
Don't say a word
Don't scream
Don't stare too long
And don't believe at all
Just cast it off
Don't build a wall
Or separate
And please
   Don't leave...

Be it lions and tigers
Or sharks and whales
There's no way around
This trip through hell

So lock and load
Your heart and soul
Take your aim
And let love flow

In this life
You can never win
If you don't get out there
   And try again...

When I realized
The undoing of our ways
Blue turned black
And bled upon the page
Still my arrows
Are pointless words
Far beyond decisions
Of no return..

Rabid dog attempts to bite
Rodent wakes me in the night
Pain lays dormant in my veins
Too much living leaves a stain
Bottomless, this pit in which I fall
Shadows crawl upon my walls
I was whole, now I'm half
The sands of time are falling fast

Oh but if I were young again
In a time before that knew no end
And you were there with eyes still blue
In flames of magic we once knew
To burn forever in passion's bliss
To embrace the eternal one last kiss
How could love have fallen behind
Replaced with feeble forgotten mind

Now this rabid hound latches on
To a night that's lasted far too long
My blanket has worn ever so thin
A chill of forgotten regretful wind
Blown cold into my restless dreams
Oh what misery life can bring ...

Were it as good
As before
I would have not
Sought after more

The stimulant dies
In despair
Surely you're not afraid
To get back out there

I once lived in a cage
Perhaps I've felt
Your rage
Push it down
Deep inside
Don't take hurt
   For a ride...

In this
Realization faze
Of this
Delicate end of madness
Momentarily
I unclench my fist
Looking down
At the nail marks in my palms
My hand transforms
Into
Giant black beetle bugs
So many bugs
All falling
To the floor
Then my arm
And then my shoulder
More and more
Squirmy bugs
Creepy crawlers
All the bugs
That make up our core
   Billions of bugs
That want to start wars
     Lots of Bugs...

And when my eyes
Open again
There will always be light
Shining in

As Glory today
Again tomorrow
I know your heart
Is prone to sorrows

Yet life goes on
   And I am not afraid...

It was
In the deepest depths
Of fiery hell
That I met
My Sweetest Jezebel

It may seem lost
To common reason
But you see demons
Where indeed in season

Can you imagine
How I came to grips
With a chick with horns
Wearing a **** red slip

And those eyes
That glowed green
Demon goddess
Dark shadow Queen

   No reason
To be concern
Into the depths
She did return
   As for me...
I lived and learnt
I'm no longer
   Getting burnt...

Cool autumn fall
Glow from the moon
All of the Poets
Asleep until June
Mine is the silence
An itch in an ear
Awaiting the whispers
As the veil reappears

Within a fraction
Of a witch's blink
The heart beat quickened
In the beauty of beast
To behold the harvest
And embrace the flight
The Poet now stricken
With the season of night

I do believe
Mental strength
Is forged
In the dysfunctional family unit

So remember
It doesn't matter
If all hope is gone
Ya better be reaching
For that last piece of chicken

Or you'll be going to bed
   Hopeless and hungry...

There is no fear
In my kind of faith

No hell
No gardens
No castle
Nor gates

No kings
To bow down to
No fiery fate

Boundless and eternal
   Are Traveler's traits...

Vaguely I recall
My thoughts before the fall
A world view
So wide yet dim
A simple conformance
To a world I was living in

And you
Chemically produced
Passion induced
Love was real
As real as a pill
Oh how I remember
The thrills

Our eyes
So bright and wide
Midnight moons
Amplified
Endless summer skies

Hearts entwined
In temporal bloom
Sat in stone
And doomed to ruin

Quickened
In love's embrace
The fires were fed
In flesh and lace

Memories infused
With the essence
Of gods
But in the end
Love was only a facade...

A rain of wonder fell upon
A land of broken dreams
Left its rainbow bright and brilliant
As any dreamer's seen

No sooner did the dreams come true
The cloud returned to gray
And left me in this dream state
   Struggling to awake...

I wish you were mine
Captured in time
Fast asleep forevermore
Gathering stars
From worlds afar
Teaching us well
What love is for...

Two dreamers dreaming
When two worlds collides
Yet who shall stray
To the other side...
Where sunshine
Shines strange
Familiarity changes
On unknown waves
Yet still we ride...

From here
You can only see
The brightest stars
Skies so dark
Between lights
Spread far

Way down here
Our existence stalls
Adrift this
Tiny little speck
Of a crowded
Conscious ball

Suspended in a portion
Of one of
One hundred billion galaxies

Down here it's not so clear
  What's going on up there...

Here again
Summer's end
The curses
The violence
The stress within
Lunar tides
Of restless souls
Giving in to
Their earthly roles

The subconscious
Longs for stimulation
Romance, adventure
And loving relation
Some crash and burn
But have no concern
   They just need to lower
   Their expectations...

He hugged me
Tears running down his face
I felt him shudder
For the whole human race

Just who condemned him
Has always been clear
The righteous
The believers
The possessors
Of fear

Yet sympathy
I felt
For the Devil
Himself
Because forgiveness
   Runs through my veins...

Faith is blind
To the fear of lines
That led our conscience here
Many will but I won't
Pretend the path is clear

Many of us know
Yet we'll never say
How long have our tongues
Been tied this way

Unwarranted
To keep us safe
Faith takes up
The empty space
Where dreams exceed
The absolutes
Subjectively tied
   To an objective truth...

I wait
Time passes
That's my fate
I wonder what happened
To my beautiful date

I care
My emotions wear
Sometimes I wonder
If I even have a pair

I bleed
You don't see
I am ashamed
Of that part of me

Who takes it
On the cheek
Do you know
What anger does
Way down deep?

I hide
Press my pen
And lie
I won't
Let you see
  My deepest darkest side...