I'm not always strong and I'm not always right, I can be selfish and unaware of the others around me. I make mistakes and bad choices. I'm constantly disappointing myself and fighting myself. I'm very open and shut down at the same time. I make plans and do things in an order and get annoyed when things don't go to how they where supposed to, but sometimes the planning and organising keeps me calm, keeps me sane. Sometimes it's all I can control in my chaotic mind. But I'm changing, I'm fighting.
I found a guy. The guy. The only one I've ever wanted. He's thoughtful, calm and kind. He's creative and beautiful. He is wonderful. He's my safe place, a reminder of how life should be, easy and carefree. Some days I don't even need to plan, I don't even think about, it I just live! I let go of it all. The craziness, the chaos. I just let go! I do things now that I would never do before. I'm finding who I am, I'm becoming me. He'll never know know the madness within, the crazy destructive path that love has steered me from. He'll never know how much he really means to me. He'll never know he is me, I am him.