When I was younger I used to think,
When my ovaries were on the blink,
I'd revel in the fact that I was free,
Less time for periods, more time for me.
No more evenings spent alone
Because Liverpool were playing at home.
Now menopause is here to stay,
I wish my monthlies never went away,
New wrinkles appear,
Sweats and hot flushes,
My bladder requires
Pees in bushes.
My locks are lank,
****** hair runs free.
But God is a woman.
Proof? HRT.

Get your bra on Gladys
Lockdown is nearly done
Shave your legs and brush your pegs
Let's get out in the sun.
Put your perm on Doris
Get your hair all in a curl
Some lippy in red and a hat on your head
I'll take you out for  a whirl.
Bin the slippers Mabel
Squeeze your bunions into some heels
A top tight at the bust is really a must,
And I'll pick you up in my wheels.
Chuck out the onesie Doris,
I know that you just didn't care,
In fact stay at home, I prefer being alone
And there's too many people out there.

My honey, my sugar, my bonbon, my sweet.
My stomach is bulging, I can't see my feet.
Next time I'm falling in love with a pea
A carrot, an apple or a cup of black tea.
Marry me darling, shower me with kisses,
But do it quick sweetheart or you'll have a fat Mrs.

We all deserve to walk in the dark if we wish.
We all deserve to get home safe.
We all deserve to be policed by kind hearts.
We are all Sarah.

I thought poetry was for poor people too,
No fee for the thoughts in my head,
But I really loved your last poem
So go stand in the sunshine instead.

Don't delete this email,
It's a poem, it's quite sweet,
It's got some rhymes and metaphors,
So please don't hit delete.
Don't delete this email,
A poem is here you see,
I've spilled the beans on my hopes and dreams,
Wiv posh vocablurree.
Don't delete this email,
The content it might grab 'ya,
But while you're here.....come closer dear....
I've got some cheap ******.

The moon gazes down with its big moon face,
And casts light to the earth from the depths of  space.
"Isn't it lovely! A full moon!", we cry,
As the dark side craft get ready to fly.