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She
She does not ask me
May I be there
She does not ask me
If I want her
She does not ask me
In the right time
She does not ask me about the day
She is just there
The fear
If I had a heart – which I don't
And it were to beat faster than usual – which it wouldn't
The reason certainly couldn't be you
Not your skin
Not your warmth
Not your kisses

If I was going to smile – which I won't
And my stomach was talking – which it couldn't
The reason certainly wouldn't be you
Not your skin
Not your warmth
Not your kisses
If I could be happy,
I'm sure I'd be happy with you.

But I've been crying my heart out
for so long now,
I don't know how not to.
sorrow flows full force
down through inner valleys
awash o’er empty days
unstopped by pleasant moments

I feel it at times
when the evening is hushed
when I hear you in a distant room
pass a picture longly hung

I see you in my children’s eyes
will often envy another’s hug
yearn to ease this persistent ache
sometimes pray for death to reach your side
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