I want to go live in a cottage in the woods
By myself with a few pets here and there
My friends would live not too far and would visit every day
My family would visit once a month and only on holidays,
Except for my extended family who would not ever come to my house, I’d only see them at theirs
I would have a cat, a bunny, and a dog
Maybe a chinchilla
I could bake cakes, cookies, and pies by the window in the kitchen
I could have a garden filled with flowers and fruits
I could have a stone pathway leading to my house
I could practice my witchcraft in peace and live happily on my own
I usually close my eyes to imagine this perfect place
Where I can dance in the rain and watch Studio Ghibli every day
I hope that I can have that one day,
To live peacefully on my own without a care in the world

I want to be the light in someone’s eyes,
I want them to look at me like I hold galaxies, universes, and every beautiful star in the sky
I want them to look at me like I do no wrong,
Like every action I take is perfect even the smallest mistake
I want to the sun that shines in their life, the stars that brighten their nights,
I want to pull them like the moon pulls the tides
I want to be magnetic to them
I want them to think my middle name is an appropriate name for me,
Because I want to be as beautiful as a supernova to them
I want someone to treat me with as much kindness as I treat them
I want them to see me as I see them

At my grandmother’s house,
Down the street,
Spring and summer are always my favorite times to be there
At the front of the house,
There are so many flowers,
Hydrangeas that her, my sister, and I would always cut from the shrub and put into vases
The hydrangeas were always in different colors,
Beautiful baby blue, lovely shades of light pink, and nice shades of light purple
There are pansies of various colors, but mostly deep purples
And bright orange and yellow marigolds
My grandmother says that marigolds are her favorite flower,
They have been ever since my sister and I gave them to her,
She planted them in her front yard and backyard
In her backyard,
There is a wide range of flowers,
With a variety of bright colors,
My favorite in her backyard are the marigolds
Because they bloom in between the cracks of cement,
And more and more bloom each year
In a sense you can say it is symbolic,
That no matter how hard things are you can always get better and will eventually thrive,
That nature will always persevere against the increasing industrial world,
But they are just my favorite in the backyard
Because I love how they bloom in the most unlikely places
In the front yard, the hydrangeas are my favorite
Because hydrangeas are important to my family,
They are in the front yard of my grandmother and the back yard of my other grandmother,
They are in the backyard of my great grandmother,
The backyard of the house that she stayed in once with my great great grandmother who everyone remembers fondly,
And they were important to my other great grandmother
It’s a family flower, with great memories of happiness
And it’s great to remember good when things feel bad

Everyday is stressful
It’s hard to talk, I’m anxious all the time, my grades aren’t good enough,
The list goes on and on
But at the end of the day, I can relax
Night is my favorite time because no one bothers me
No sisters always in my space,
No moms and grandmothers who keep asking for things from me over and over when I have work to do,
No constantly helping people through their problems,
No constantly trying to please everyone,
Just peace by myself as The Office plays on my TV deep into the early morning,
Just time for me,
I read my favorite books,
Watch my favorite shows,
And turn on my favorite music as I get lost into the rabbit hole of an amazing fantasy world

Imagine being the moon
Orbiting not the sun but a planet
Because the sun may be bright but it nowhere near as special as the planet you dearly love
People on that special little planet looking up at you
For years and years and years
The most powerful,
Or influential
Or kind
Or intelligent
All of these people looking up at you in awe
Because somehow you are the most beautiful thing they have ever seen
From a distance you are glowing,
And no can help but stare
But up close you’d think you were plain
But you are still so special
And you control that little planets tides,
The water following your every command
Because you are just that compelling
Oh to be the moon

Every day is comprised with little moments,
Good and bad
But I always find myself looking for The Moment
The Moment is when I’m content,
When my heart is filled with this little bit of joy
Satisfaction,
In just existing
I peacefully exist in The Moment
No more storm clouds in my mind,
But a light drizzle of rain
And in my heart,
It is sunny and warm
There is peace and I’m in the eye of the storm that is life
Just existing,
In The Moment

Today, I watched Avatar The Last Airbender,
I always loved that show,
My sister and I would always watch it in the bedroom of my grandmother’s house,
I remembered watching the episode when I was younger, on the bed that took up most of the room, my sister right next to me
My attention span was so little that I could not focus on the show,
I was focusing on something my sister or cousins were saying,
Trying to watch the show as well,
Not understanding a single thing but still enjoying the show,
Sometimes you miss your childhood and the innocence that comes with it
But I do not,
You should always look to the future because the future always holds the promise of being better than the past

Yes, I may be in class
Or at a family function with less than kind aunts and awful uncles, with little children running around that I am expected to babysit
Or maybe I am being lectured for a mistake I made
But in my head, I am safe
I am dancing around a ballroom with a smile
I am wearing a beautiful gown that shines and glass slippers
My dance partner is smiling at me brighter than the sun
And the classical music is playing loudly
It starts off a slow pace
Then speeds up
Twists, turns, twirls
And by the songs end,
I can leave my head

I have Forget me nots in my brain, that’s why I forget my assignments
I have roses in my head, they’re beautiful but the thorns sometimes wrap around my skull until I can only feel pain
The daisies in my head wilt a lot, no matter how much I water them
The hydrangeas take up so much space in the garden of my head, filling up my mind
The gardenias growing on my brain are slowly dying but on some days they’re the loveliest thing you’ve ever seen
The peonies grow so big, but are so hard to keep healthy
I’ll cough up it’s dead petals but at least I know that it’s still alive
Sunflowers strain in my skull because they want to grow so tall,
But there’s not enough space in the garden that is my head
Protea’s has grown for awhile but it started to bloom once I turned 13
Adonis keeps growing along side the dandelions
Buttercups that probably should have wilted by now still occupy the space in my head
White camellias grow and even though they are beautiful, I keep straining to see red
Cherry blossoms and their beautiful pink and white petals flow out of ears
Hibiscus fill up the space, pouring out of my nose in an attempt to keep growing
Water lilies grow behind my eyes, and when I cry they pour out of my tear ducts
Marigolds grow and grow in the cracks of my imperfection and insecurities
But despite this crowded mind full of flowers,
asphodel started to grow
The flowers keep growing and wilting,
Growing on top of each other, suffocating each other
But there’s still days when if you’d look into my skull, you’d sigh in awe
Because despite everything, they still look beautiful

My best friend Spider is the most unique person I know
He has clear blue eyes and glasses
He is tall and always has been taller than me
He has always been braver than I am
He would cut his own hair once
He always seemed confident to me
We are polar opposites in style but I think that makes us more fun
He loves his cat and dogs so much and always send me pictures of them
He knows how much I love animals
He is always there for me
He is so talented and always have been
He can draw the most beautiful pictures
He is always there for me and others
We go to rival schools
We were in a coven together
We’d always talk about ****** in art class because we love ****** mysteries
And everyone talked about weird stuff in that art class
Because our teacher didn’t let us do much
One of the first things I noticed about him was his hair
He would dye it
I remember when he dyed it blue
He cut his hair too so now we both have short hair
He was always friendly to me so it’s no surprise he has a lot of friends
He may not think he’s  great sometimes
But I can’t think of anyone more perfect

I wonder what it’s like to view the world from the stars,
To watch the world turn everyday,
To watch the Earth change,
To watch people change, grow, and learn
To watch people change the world
To see history be made,
Even though it may be insignificant to the cosmos, it’s still important to those on that tiny planet
You can see something entirely new be discovered,
You see the Earth’s greatest inventions,
You can hear the whispers of the people on that planet,
They’re wishes to you because they believe that you can do anything
The whispers of a thousand secrets as well
And the whispers of the other stars, sharing what they’ve seen
What they’ve heard,
The stories from the moons who know a million things,
The legends from the sun who remembers when the universe was new,
What is it like to be amongst the stars?

Make a wish every 11:11
Wish for whatever you like
Better grades,
More friends,
Happiness,
For things to be better than they are now,
I used to wish look out my grandmothers window
I looked past the row houses and the street into the sky
I would always look for a star to wish on
In the City’s starless sky
I’d stare at the moon
While my sister would stare at the street,
Searching for our mother’s car
Our small faces right next to each other, pressed up against the glass, searching for what we wanted
I’d always wish for long hair like Rapunzel
Now I do not look at the sky for wishes
I spend every 11:11 wishing
Because maybe one of my wishes will come true

My best friend has brown eyes,
But every time the sun hits them
They turn gold
My best friend has dark brown hair
When I first met her it was the longest hair I’ve ever seen, dyed blonde at the ends
Now it is short and just as nice
My best friend used to be shorter than me
Now I am the short one in the group
As everyone towers over me
My best friend has the greatest smile
Every time she laughs it’s like pure sunshine
Sunlight pouring out of her smile
My best friend speaks Croatian
So we text each other in Croatian,
We always say Bok instead of bye and volim te instead of I love you
My best friend is great at acting, I tell her to not forget me when she’s famous
My best friend is amazing
Volim te, Sunca

The sound of a symphony, an orchestra’s music fills the room
A large room with marble floors and golden walls
Beautiful people fill the room, dancing to their hearts content
Waltzing with their partners, some smile happily
Others frown at their partners, full of disdain
Some cast fleeting glances at the ones they truly love, as they dance with another
Colors dark and bright fill the room
Gowns sway as their wearers dance the night away
A beautiful lady descends the large staircase, looking at the gigantic diamond chandelier
She casts a glance over the railing towards the crowd
Her gown changes color with every step she takes
The crowd stills and the orchestra stops playing, all that can be heard is her foot steps
Click,
The dress turns a deep, vibrant red with rubies and dark roses
Clack,
The dress lightens into a pastel pink with lace and hydrangeas
Click,
The dress turns a deep emerald green, ivy trails behind as a train
Clack,
The dress becomes like the sea, deep blue, with every swish of the fabric sounds more like the ocean as white tulle hangs off the end
The process continues
The crowd stairs in shock, everyone frozen as they watch the beautiful woman
The light catches her slippers,
Glass
Beautiful, beautiful stained glass that glitters and changes as well
No one dares move
She smiles
Quietly at the end of the staircase, she whispers, “What a lovely party.”
People lose their breath
She looks at the orchestra and they start again
Everyone resumes dancing
She is pulled into a waltz
The lady dances the night away before escaping to the garden
A lady in a plain white gown follows her
The garden is large, filled with every flower imaginable
The scent of the flowers hits the woman in white’s nose
The garden is practically pitch black, the night sky dark with very little stars
Yet the woman continues walking
She stops at the fountain, the lady in white does the same
The woman in the gown turns to the lady, “What is your name?”
The lady responds, “Ester.”
Before Ester can ask her name in return, the woman starts to speak
“Ester, why are you wearing such a dress at this party? Would you not prefer a lovely dress?”
Ester’s eyes widen in the darkness, humiliation barely visible in the dark
Yet, the woman continues,
“Perhaps, you would prefer a dress like mine?”
“Yes!” Ester exclaims
The woman turns to Ester,
“You can have my dress and my shoes if I can have yours.”
Her voice is calculated and with little emotion
Ester does not even hesitate
“Shake my hand,” the woman says
The orchestra can no longer be heard
Ester grabs the woman’s delicate hand,
She smiles and as does the woman
Ester moves to pull her hand away but can not
The Ester’s hand is stuck, she gasps in horror
The woman’s smile goes wide and Ester sees row upon row of razor sharp teeth
Wind blows around them as flowers and leaves get caught in the small tornado that is forming
The sleeve of the ballgown moves down the woman’s arm and travel up Ester’s
As does the other
Then the entire dress is on Ester
She would be delighted to have such a dress in any other circumstance but all she can feel is fear
Esters shoes slip off as the wind lifts her
She feels cold glass underneath her feet, and suddenly she is wearing the glass slippers
The woman’s smile is no longer jagged
Her hand no longer sticks to Ester’s
The wind stops blowing
The woman whispers a thanks as she walks away, wearing the white gown and the plain shoes rather happily
Ester begins to wonder why she was worried
The event was strange but she now feels amazing in her dress
She looks into the water of the fountain with a smile
Her face fills with shock as she looks at her sharp teeth
Dread fills her as she tries to pull off the gown
The gown instead sticks to her skin just as the woman’s hand did
Ester moves to try to take off the shoes
It sticks to her toes as she tries to pull her foot out
Her heel gets stuck as she tries to pry the dreaded slipper
The wind blows past her ear
“Until midnight.”
The clock chimes as Ester feels a bony hand grip her ankle.

I’ve always tried to be good enough,
But it never worked out
I tried my best during school but it still wasn’t enough
I tried to hide every bad emotion I felt so others would be happy
I got good grades,
I let my family dictate the way I dressed,
I did everything everyone said,
I was quiet and polite,
I always try to be the best in everything I do now,
Even if it’s a small mistake, it’s like the world is crashing down
I’m older now,
I dress how I want and got my hair cut,
I still try to be the best,
Try to be good enough for everyone else,
But maybe,
I don’t have to be