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Susan Jacob May 2020
With their smacked lips,
and moving hips,
they barge me with queries,
only if they knew how hard it stung.

It's hard being stagnant,
days spent being poignant.
They think I'm a marvel to behold,
while all I need is some one to hold.

All prospects seem astray,
all evaporating in the hotness of May.
Wish I could tell them that I'm lost,
that even I have no plans.

Plethora of what ifs and what nots
avalanche on me like bullet shots.
Wish if I could feel something,
anything except death.
  Mar 2018 Susan Jacob
a gale
When she falls in love
I can already predict...
It’ll be like she’s by a cliff
about to take off
and all she’ll tell me
is that she’s just testing
her new pair of wings
But I know better...
I know she’s gonna jump
Hoping she could fly
But ends up falling
And she won’t ask for help
Not until she’s 10 feet above ground
And we both know it’s too late
But she didn’t know
I snuck a parachute with her
so she doesn’t have to fall hard

Because when she falls in love
she’s gonna fall hard
When she falls in love
there might not be someone
prepared to catch her
But I’ll be there
prepared to help her

When she falls in love
and hits the ground
I won’t be there
to help her forget
But I’ll let her know
she doesn’t have to forget
to stop the hurt

When she falls in love
I’ll be there to help her let go
to lose her grip
uncurling her fingers
one by one

And before she falls in love
I’ll prepare her
for all the possible hurt
I’ll let her know
that when she has her heart
set out for
hellos and I love yous
sometimes all she’ll get
are goodbyes
But I’ll also tell her
to keep on hoping
to keep on dreaming
because someday
someone will come
with a heartfelt hello in hand
unaccompanied with goodbye

When she falls in love
and gets her heart broken
I’ll be ready to storm
into her room
Because sometimes she laughs
when she’s not supposed to
but cries
once the lights are off
the door is closed
and the music is too loud
in her mind
I’ll be sure to be the one
to open the door
turn on the lights
and replace her sad songs
with my out-of-tune singing
Maybe she’ll laugh
Maybe she won’t

Because when she falls in love
there are only two outcomes
either you fall and hit the ground
or someone catches her
and never let go
And while she's still
falling and hitting the ground
I’ll be there to let her know
love isn’t everything
I’ll never fail to keep reminding her
that everything happens for a reason
that people leave
because they’re supposed to
that it only means
she’s got it wrong
this time around
and that’s how she’ll realize
the right one
And that it’s gonna hurt now
But she just has to give it some time
And these are just words
she might not believe it right away
but I’ll make sure
she realizes it soon

And when she falls in love
and somebody is ready to catch her
ready to hold on to her
I’ll be there to tell him
how absolutely unfortunate of him
to be the one to catch her
but how lucky he is
to have her
But for now
I’ll tell her
to stop looking
for Prince Charming
because she’s no Princess
in a Disney fairytale
for a Knight in Shining Armor
because she’s no Damsel in Distress
from the Middle Ages
for Mr. Perfect
because she’s no Ms. Perfect
or some heroine
living the pages of fiction
but I’ll tell her
to wait for the right one
because chances are,
if he’s right for her
then she’s for him as well


*a. gale
This is the longest poem I wrote. This is for my best friend, and my nuggets of wisdom for her. So when life separates us and I'm not there for her and her broken heart, all that I want to say are here.
  Mar 2018 Susan Jacob
Her
the moment a poet
falls in love with you

is the moment
you live

f o r e v e r
I try to cut myself into pieces to see which part is best
Today I like my heart, I'll throw away the rest
I don't like putting good organs to no good use
So I'll use them as a shield to catch the abuse
The cuts will bleed but I pay them no mind
It's the damage to my brain that I don't see too kind
I cry myself to sleep every night and hope that without a single fright I'll sleep a sleep that never ends and inside my dreams are all my friends
They each take turns greeting me but soon they'll end up deceiving me
They all surround me and jump up and down
Their unmasked faces show their frowns
They all hold their hands up high
And scream and shout as they count to five
Their blood oozes from out their ears
And each one of them turns into one of my fears
They keep screaming and screaming
They tell me I'm dreaming I'm dreaming
I won't wake up
I won't wake up
My ears are bleeding but the blood shuts out some of the sound
And their blood that was oozing has seeped underground
The ground is now red
All of them, just dead
  Mar 2018 Susan Jacob
Ciel Noir
What other kind              of creature could divide        
        Each different thing             into its different sides                
  With chaos versus             order, dark and light
The stark duality of         wrong and right
We even split the very        world in two
With human versus human,       we and you
But still no matter how much      we divide
Each thing has infinitely many      sides
Susan Jacob Mar 2018
I'm unsettling like the wind,
but I yearn for you to chase me,
behold me as if  I can never be yours,
I just want you to be with me...
My lashes flutter like butterfly wings,
on these tear swept papers.
They're black as my soul,
I just want your love  to let them fly.
:')
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