I thought I needed
you, for me to be happy
turns out I only
needed you to be happy —
no matter where that leaves me

you only water
the plants when you need them to
flower and bear fruit

i smile

    (like i’m fine)

        but

each word  
        each look  
              each silence  

          chips away

                and

     i sink,

                 slowly  
                        quietly  
                              invisibly

     until

       nothing.

         just
             me

               pretending
                  to be
                    okay.

I wonder what you see
when you look at me.
Do you see the real me
                  or
the me you want me to be?

if you're the sea I'd
easily drown in — I am
the sea-beaten cliff
you can safely wonder from —
of carelessly jumping off

Little bird,
Your cage is not of my making.
Little bird,
I see the weight you carry, silent, unseen.
Little bird,
My hand is open, only if you wish to land.
Little bird,
I promise not to squeeze too tight.
Little bird,
I'd never clip your wings.
Little bird,
I’d never take your sky from you.
Little bird,
Let me build you shelter, not a cage.
Little bird,
I’ll walk beside you, not ahead.
Little bird,
I ask for nothing, only that you know,
Little bird,
You are free, even here with me.

What
if
I
was
just

























Gone?

Time can heal a broken heart
Time can heal scars,in part
Time can heal pain
Time can heal shame
Time can heal all the same

i envy the stars,
the way you would stare at them and smile
how you looked so longingly toward them
you wanted to join them
and then you tried.
in your trying, you did not reach them.
you stayed here, on this rotting rock, stuck with me.
your smile has gone away forever. you dont laugh anymore.

i wish i had never let you envy me.
like i envy you
and envy the great shining lights that surround us.