skin laced drinks
marring thoughts
bright sunshine
liquid kisses
gone in a second
drugs and pain
all day traces
laced with pain

always going around in circles
and you never once came
to show me the way

I'm leaving the city
that buzzes with sound
I'm leaving the smoke
that seems to follow me around
I'm leaving the friends
who bullied me all my life
I'm leaving the haze
that wronged my judgement
I'm leaving my mind
the only way I can leave my past behind
I'm leaving my worries
it's the only way to escape
I'm leaving my fake smile
so I won't remember the pain
I'm leaving my hands tied
so I can't fight back
I'm leaving the city
so I can live and smell the air

I've always thought
Love was meant to be fire
Like a burning on my skin
Not a seed
Slowly seeking my heart
It's not like fire and out of control
It's slow demanding, sensual in a way
Love is something that blooms

I've always been weighed down
by tons of ocean water
drowning me
and it was always building
getting heavier and stronger
and I was taking my last breath
and seeing my memories flash in the fire
the ocean was on fire
and the guilt was the culprit

the dreams
come in light
bright burning light
evaporating my eyes
bringing darkness
a relief to the light
but a curse of blindness
who could've thought
dreams
would show me
reality

They all say
The night sky
Is beautiful
But I wouldn't know
I have eyes only for you

some times I feel my insides are being punched
some times I feel the burn in my guts
sometimes I just want to yell
sometimes I feel the pain and just want to let go
I never wanted to hurt the people I love
and yet I can't let go of the secret
the dove that circles above my head
shakes every time it lays it's eyes on me
and I know I am responsible for the pain in it's Blue eyes
I know I will always hurt the most kindest of creatures
but what can I do with a cursed inheritance
what can I do when the ghosts stare at my soul
what can I do when they turn me inside out

needles in my arms
drawing blood without alarm
I let you do this and I don't know why
maybe it was the sugar coated lies
maybe it was trust
that shook me apart
maybe it was the control that I cannot grasp
maybe I was used and that hurts
but I still love you
even if it's stupid
I still dream of you today

a whisper can hurt
a little breath can ****
one breath is a hurricane
a whisper is power
dark magic
and it shouts its name
a whisper can hurt
so yell
and call out it's name
I am a whisper
and I am sorry

I just want to yell
I want to scream
I want to punch a hole in the wall
And yet I have to accommodate
Everyone else

flying away on folded wings
taking turns and frowning of sin
through rusted bushes
there shining yellow hues
a story of colour
what are we gonna do

my branches grow
spreading and breathing
my leaves sap strength and life
and I will soon die
but while my leaves are living
I will come to life again
and paint his soul
with green paint
and purple hues
so even the horizon
will not be the end

A thought can be like
Being burned
At the stake

the moon pulls and pushes
the tides
directing the water and our lives
it's our lives
the moon doesn't care
why would it
it's not affecting its life but ours
we will always be controlled by outsiders
who don't know us and couldn't care
we are slaves
to our minds and those who control it

I’ve been gone for a while now
I feel my heart beating now
I don’t know why I love so much
Or why the strength hits me hard
I don’t know why you mean the world
I don’t know why the earth strays from course
I don’t know why the stars are dim to your beauty
Or why the sun stares are you and smiles
But I’ll know I’ll grow
In your embrace
Rocketing up to the moon
To find you in the universe for I’ll see all of you
In a lifetime
I will be the nebula in the galaxys

I know I said we were far away
from meaning anything
that I was in the loom of the moon
and that you were back on earth
I know I left you there
while I sat upon shining stars
and I know I was wrong to leave you...
with the monsters
but up here I am far away
not physically maybe
but my head is in the clouds
and maybe you'll see
why I rest in the stars

I fell from the trees
green and then brown
blending in gradient harmony
and I landed in dazed vertigo
and I felt sinking
falling into the ground
it taking me back
and I didn't put up a fight
for this is my motherland
this is my home

all I know is my lies
all I know is my mask
all I know is a copy
all I know is a clone
all I know is hate
all I know is a fake
all I know is what I left behind
all I know is an angel is breaking me free
all I was a nobody
all I am is a shell
think I am a Angel and person filled with potential
and what do I think well I think I'm broken beyond repair
but there still trying to patch up the cracks
and I'm scared because it's working

I've been laying in this bed for a couple years now
wondering if your gonna leave me for him
for the guy who treats you like ****
and I guess I should've guessed you would go
I mean you've been tired from the beginning
I guess I was just a drug
so you wouldn't tire

always thinking
of escape
from the one place
that is safe

I wish I lived in the beyond
on mars
where I couldn't hurt the people I love
where the people were safe
I am a scar and I will not heal
I wish I was gone
so they wouldn't hurt

this is a whisper from me to you
and yet it spread like wild fire
so as the fire gets out of control
I blow out the flame that started it
and that is why i'm done trying

I know your hurting
So am I
I would take your pain
But then I might break

I'm worried
Not about me and you
But about everything

stitch my mouth
one at a time

stealing words
from smoke

a dream
from my head

Quiet tendrils
Of smoke

Embraces meaning
Capturing thoughts

Never-ending night
Beaming moon

I wish on a star
As it passes through

To only receive a night
Full of nothing bright

The moon kisses me
It embraces me

Although it’s dark
The moon will carry me

The night is safe
Though scary

My home is with the demons
And with the ghost that is me

No one can take my words
And no one will take my home

The constellations swirl
Calling me

You were there
Always embracing me

Always smelling of home
Always watching the ground

I will trip I will get up
And I will run

I am no longer scared
I am strong and will walk

I am not your little boy
But the woman I am today

Whenever I hear you cry
I feel something
It's not something words can say
I've searched
I hurt more than I show
And it feels like
Something is broken
When I hear you cry
I can't help but
Try to hold myself together
Because you are the reason I'm still here

a cold sad truth
I won't ever be complete
without you
or have I...
already lost it

I've got a heart, it beats
and my lungs contract to let me breath
and the blood races in my system
bringing me to life
I got a heart that beats
my lungs are tearing here and there
no way to fix the tear and wear
so let my lungs be my saviour
I've got a heart, it beats

they say where there is sadness, Joy
but to be joy there has to be sadness
they say that where there is darkness, light
but to be light there had to be darkness
and I was wondering maybe it was a
CRUEL JOKE

I feel like the runaway
leaving behind the stars
and starting in the dark

sharp points hurt
they let me bleed
out comes the worry
that turns me inside out
and through the leaves
my sweat and blood is left behind
in the bark my darkness goes

silk through my hands
life running through my veins
tongues of fish flying past
small rocks off the river bed
and feeling worries run of to the sea
feeling fish worry free
feeling burden rub off on rocks
and the water crystal clear with pure truth
clear like the sky
without a worry I run like a river

They say love is till death
That can't be right
How could I feel more dead
Than when I'm without you

look to the ocean and breath
look at my heart and breath
look at my face and breath
look at my love and breath
look at your worries and let them breath
you will only rot if you don't breath
you'll disappear if you don't breath
so let it out and take in the air

I may be sorry
And I cannot grieve
I cannot let out the anger I breath
So please don’t leave
I’m sorry I’m broken
I’m sorry I’m dead
I’m sorry I broke your heart
But…
Now my heart is dead

a talk was what they said
when they ripped me open
they dug up my grave
left it open
my blood soaking the ground
my cries kept me awake at night
and now...
well now I'm underground
it was just a talk

the sand is there
oh the sweet salt too
and you washed away that love
with hate
I knew it was you
with those electric eyes

one smile a day
is sometimes enough to
make the pain go away

I was always thinking that when we left we would have lot's of time
not lot's of arguing
I guess I was deluding myself when I should've been guarding my heart from pain
I'm sorry but there is no shield in place anymore
there used to be but that shattered years ago and now there is no protection
so I guess there is a gateway but please don't overuse it
it's the only protection I have left
I guess I thought I could control who came in but the shield broke years ago

a hand a imprint on my soul
love, dark but always in my soul
you will always be in my soul
even if you're the one hurting me

alcohol kisses
a numb feeling
it's distracting
it feels nice
and yet I feel the darkness
it's coming up
better take another drink
ahh good numbness

When I said those 3 words
I meant them
I've told them to you everyday
Do you know the truth they hold
I love you

when my emotions overflow
I let the river go
I the tears come down with force
I let the waterfall navigate my cross
I let the earthquake shatter the ground
and I let hell take me down
and the heavens are pulling me up
out of the ground
up to my refuge
in the clouds

I love the way I feel like one
I love the way you say Te amo
I love the way I hold you in my arms
Te amo the Angel in my heart  
Te Amo

deep dark monsters lurk
in the shadows they hide
demons waiting for victims
in the shadows they hide
ghosts waiting to haunt you
in the shadows they hide
Fear and Betrayal
in the light I confide

I might never tell you
But you mean the world
I can't explain
How could I
I could I explain all these
Feelings and emotions
How could I let you know
That theres no one else
That even holds a spark
Next to a bonfire

why do people only see a male
my body is not my ID
my body is not a stamp
I press my mind across
and I see a transformation
a female I see
through thick haze comes vision
a thought is not me
I'm not a gender ID

soft tones in rightful throes
through hero's tough
and rightness goes
the evil will be ******* from here it grows
the tide will turn
the wind will blow
and here I will be broken from head to toe

because of infatuation
I left a scar
on the one who actually cared
and to be honest
sometimes I feel like I am the scar
because really I know your hurt
but maybe you will heal
but my heart will never
after what I did there will always be a line
cutting and constricting
and it will never go away
I am the scar
marring your arms and face...
I am the scar