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The beauty of music
is in the written notes that are to be heard
The beauty of a poem
is in the shaking voice that is about to read it out loud
The beauty of love
is in the two breaths that break the strained atmosphere
The beauty of everything
is in disturbing the undiversified silence that reigns all around

Silence is peaceful
or at least that is what people say
they say they NEED it
to calm them
to bring them comfort
But to me silence brings only
agony
and loneliness
and emptiness
and pain
And why would I need silence to give these to me
when I already have them from you?
'The beggar boy is none of mine,'
The reverend doctor strangely said;
'I do not walk the streets to pour
Chance benedictions on his head.

'And heaven I thank who made me so.
That toying with my own dear child,
I think not on his shivering limbs,
His manners vagabond and wild.'

Good friend, unsay that graceless word!
I am a mother crowned with joy,
And yet I feel a ***** pang
To pass the little starveling boy.

His aching flesh, his fevered eyes
His piteous stomach, craving meat;
His features, nipt of tenderness,
And most, his little frozen feet.

Oft, by my fireside's ruddy glow,
I think, how in some noisome den,
Bred up with curses and with blows,
He lives unblest of gods or men.

I cannot ****** him from his fate,
The tribute of my doubting mind
Drops, torch-like, in the abyss of ill,
That skirts the ways of humankind.

But, as my heart's desire would leap
To help him, recognized of none,
I thank the God who left him this,
For many a precious right foregone.

My mother, whom I scarcely knew,
Bequeathed this bond of love to me;
The heart parental thrills for all
The children of humanity.
To say short
there's nothing to define me
because I'm always two
and what I do too
is two
because I'm never one
and I can't be one
and I don't  know which one
to be
because I'm stuck in the middle being dragged and pulled and
attracted
to one or the other.
There's no one to save me;
There's no one to help me;
There's no one to understand me;
Well even you won't understand me because
we misunderstand everything, everything.
And that's why I hate everything
that exists
and what I like does not exist
All I want is to be alone
and that's want you don't give me
you keep pushing me forward
all the time
and you don'T know what I want
You've got to leave me alone
to solve and untangle myself
and that's what I want.
What I want is peace.
Still you don't understand me
because you would think
there's so much to say about me
when there's actually nothing
in this long poem.
Still you'll continue to misunderstand
and confuse me
because I'm myself.
Us
My mind wandered as he walked in,
Wandered into the undetermined future of this thing they called "us"
Was it a lifetime of undeniable affection for one another?
Or was it a longing that would only lead to years of jealousy and rage?
Either way it goes it would definitely lead to an unrelenting passion,
Unrelenting huh?
A never ceasing, always wanting, continuously pursuing, passion for one another.
Sound like a lot of trouble to me.
Maybe I should sit back and reevaluate my wanderings,
What if this attraction is only felt by me?
Then will I want all of this?
Am I okay watching from the sidelines as my other half of "us" creates "us" after "us"
What I want to say is NO!!! And run away
What I will probably do is sit and watch,
Watch as the other half of my "us" turns into a quarter than an eighth and then a sixteenth and so on and so forth until the number behind the decimal is too long to count.
And even then I'll be sitting here waiting for him to return
Cause even in my singleness I am loyal.
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