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 Apr 2021 Shang
Beebz The Queen
i never got to hear your heart beat
i never got to choose a name
i keep losing you before i have you
and all i feel for you is pain

i never got to hold you
or comfort you when you cried
because again i’ve lost you
and no longer have you inside

they say that healing helps you
and moving on is for the best
but how can i sleep peacefully
knowing now you’ll forever rest

i’ve cried a million tears for you
and sang a thousand songs
because in my arms my love
is right where you belong
miscarriages are hard and the aftermath is brutal. but you can make it through ❤️
 Apr 2021 Shang
Beebz The Queen
thoughts in my head clouding my sight
my anxieties keeping me up at night
constantly thinking you’re not on my side
thinking that all my demons will collide

there’s something in the water i drink
i know this because i fear what i think
you tell me i’m crazy and that we’re okay
are you tired of reminding me everyday

i spin further away from my truth
i dive deeper into the pain of my youth
digging and searching for some peace
but these voices in my head don’t cease

i remember the rush the joy the ache
knowing there was something at stake
self harm my absolute longest lost friend
i hope that we never ever meet again
 Apr 2021 Shang
bs
and in that deafening silence,
i’ve never wished more to be heard,
wracked with endless demurs of regret and remorse –
impure, impure, impure.

ii.
but it’s my choice, isn’t it?
to bear the knot of pearls come undone,
to feel it shift from skin to soul,
to speak of loving, and then let go.
(i see this now as a luxury i could not afford.) iii.
if i don’t rise come blooming spring,
ring the church bells for those left unheard,
wash the red from the bed sheets,
please unhinge my strife from the earth;

and know this:

a man is no longer a man,
after his unbidden pillage,
has left an innocent soul shaken;
unholy.

holy, holy, holy.
 Mar 2021 Shang
Avah-Marie
Dark starry sky, the warm breeze fills my mellow heart
My eyes are starting to close but I coerce them open

Unspoken during this time, I lay in silence
as lifeless as I was before

Death is instore for me "hurry" I whisper

The blood runs down my arm, still calm, I drew my last breath,
this might be my last night.
 Mar 2021 Shang
Jake
How do I express,
To the people I love most,
That the emptiness I feel
is no fault but my own?
 Mar 2021 Shang
Aparna
betwixt ivy-clad cinder walls
seamless, infinite darkness
leaves aligning,
tendrils twirling unbeknownst
whilst syphid wisps shadowed
tangled wilderness
nightly haze conformed
as sombre forms arose
virtual journal/poetry stash

been awhile.
 Mar 2021 Shang
Max
Falling
 Mar 2021 Shang
Max
She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."
What's the difference?
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