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HT May 2016
This fate
Or magic of the ancients
That lead me onto your scent in the
wind which lead
Me to the sea
Where I find you
Hustling steamer plates and lager
Mopping up spilled wine and dreams
I grabbed you
and pulled your lifeless  corpse into mine
For we are now but shells
We cling for a moment to the warmth
Disregarding the hundred eyes and faces
We have no words
Im sure we have billions
Its only a fleeting visit
Before time runs short
Your arms encircle me twice more.
Timing was right today
But theres too much life in the way
We have no words
Back to reality
And I step out look upon the shore
The ache in my stomach is with me no more
I will be back for you my love
And
When the tides change
We will sail
6 months later
HT Jul 2018
a 5000second hug

Breathing in deep
intoxicated by your smell
I asked the moon for you and Venus too
I look up into your eyes
glimmering with a hint of emerald
my ear to your rapid heart beat, your arms locked around me
tracing your check bone with my fingers
lingering eye delights on each line and curve and freckle
Dimples..
I have to close my eyes
This cant be real
We were separated for all of space
that was the deal
You smile even harder
I should have known
Only we could  realign the stars for a hug
The bliss over flows from my eyes  onto my check
Your gentle hand sweeping wild auburn hair curls out of my face,
Lips meeting forehead.
I cant breathe
am I breathing?
Im laughing now.
”thank you” I whisper
Close my eyes and settle into your arms.
The calm radiates from my soul.
Surreal, I dreamt of this.
My beautiful fallen angel
wrap me in your wings for all of time.
you will never be mine you belong to the cosmos, our eclipse makes me shie brighter each time it gets better.
HT Apr 2016
You need fabric softener that shirt has been washed too many times with hot water.
You also need to eat because last time I hugged you there was more of you.
There is always a light scent of work on you, somehow after sleep and a shower and numerous cigarettes.
We both close our eyes and rest for a moment in the embrace.
You shaved about an hour ago.
Your cheek rest against my forehead, we are too close.
I hear and feel the light sigh as you breathe my scent and the adoration in.
The body heat we create in a second could ignite paper.
You’re tired I feel it when you lean into me, your soul is at war with your body.
You want nothing more than to rest but you tense up and remember your grind.
The lines around your eyes lengthen
Your hand on the middle of my back tightens hardly notable, but mine does also.
Our breathing stops.
And we step away.
I smell you on me for the rest of the day and glow.
its the sun and moon in its rare eclipse..love that cant be
HT May 2016
Its not like you healed me,
Hell born.
More like you handed me the vial,
The potion.
Was in your motion,
I worked for it.
You don’t even open doors,
But you sure have the key.
Now come walk these floors,
And bring me coffee and ****.
sweet release of emotion ;)
HT May 2016
Coffee: the best you can find at the ghetto 3rd St. grocer  
I smoked half your ciggs one day because I had spent all my money making sure we had the best breakfast coffee and cream. It was worth it to see the corners of your lips turn into that mug; steam rising into your morning face, and hear the sigh of comfort. I dont settle for less now.
Nothing like that first sip
You said

Bleach: I awaited your arrival like a sentry awaiting relief. The gallons of bleach I poured into the tub and sinks. If only they could shine like you. This home would be a palace when you arrived,always.

The house looks great!
You said

Beer: There will always be one for you in my fridge…I spent countless hours standing in line to fill the drawer; where vegetables would live in most homes, with brews of taste and supplement. Or at least they get you drunk. To see the glimmer in your wild Irish eyes and take the edge off the struggle.

Awesome, Ill get you one too.
You said

Bacon: because its bacon. 2 hours of cooking. A full spread with pancakes and mimosas to lift your sleepy head. Fruit and the fluffiest scrambled eggs. I was blissful watching you fill your plate and belly, caring not for my own comfort but to fill your soul with love.

Did you eat yet, get some food.
You said
Wishing my lips could say what my heart holds..i try in every way to show it when you come around. But do you know it?
HT Aug 2017
in wooded summer bliss
time and air fall still
we met in suspected non-coincidence
eyes burning through shades
your soul stirs into me
like soldiers we stand
just for one moment
breathing it in
you hesitate when you leave
fate has a tie between us
it tugs and loosens
it is unbreakable
it never binds
... all i asked the stars for was his smile..birthday magic. ?
HT May 2017
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate that I cant stop ******* loving you.
HT May 2016
The heartbeat
screaming
my chest near eruption


across the
greens and tans
and blacks and whites
to you the grasses
…the sands
and the roads
that bridge the distance
between your smile
aye an mine the
touch of a hand that ignited
a spark once
a many moons ago
you there screaming
back to me your souls
  beat and
the rhythm
the answer
I hear it now
too loud


its starcrossed fables
predicted this course
it was done
******* born
from the pages
tragedy..oh Romeo
oh *******

beating is blinding  


too loud to ****

to true to steal

the alcohol burns my soul
the beat is too loud.. I scream
the rhythm beats on
the drugs ache in my viens but
your soul beats on  over the spaces
and time


the floor shaking and
withdraw and sober
We watch each other
Die a thousand
Days
The struggle moves on


I horizontal to the left


we fight the current and it kills us
oh but what a way to go..
drowning in your love
waves of darkness
the rhythm drowns
out the darkness
the demons fear
the rhythm and the
..the light
.. the light
will meditated on this...it was pure emotion no thought.. just fury  of fingertips tapping..
HT Aug 2017
Cosmic magnets
Long lived old ones
Star shifting
Universes collide
Supernova smile
..i need to write...but the words arent right
HT Apr 2016
You never told me the fires of hell burn black?
But you told me to stay out of the darkness.
Remember I laughed fool hearted at the proposal that anything ethereal could frighten me ...
You told me you were a monster and I shouldn’t bother
“Maybe Im the demon whisperer baby.”
We both giggled knowing the treachery I was wading in.
Now the horrors that flash across my mind in every heart beat.
The thick tars of hell coursing through my veins
Burning my flesh from the inside out ripping at the last shred of sanity..
The barren wasteland where the reapers no longer even wander.
I see you there in that hell
Scorching red hot breeze
you breathe like a hell born
I taste the screaming of 700 million lost souls
Left to eternally wallow in this putrid encasement of grey
But you’re still standing
Composed, almost smiling
“I told you it was worse than nightmares here.”
Every shadow of every doubt eats through my scull
It is the pain of a million births and deaths over and over
An you stand there composed...
“You were born for this warrior woman.”
The beating in my chest steady
This rhythm is all that humanity left us with
I will sing here some day
I will roar
on ravaged and  ashen remains of life.
It will be a beautiful morning in hell.
HT Apr 2016
We collided
I was never afraid
I held nothing back
It was not I my control
But the core of my me-ness
my self seemed to find peace
welcome home your hug always says
your eyes say “im glad to see you”
You never gave me a reason to doubt you
That you loved me
Filthy and broken narcissist that I am
You told me with out hesitation
When my heart was breaking
I love you
My self doesn’t even think of hiding from you
No one else has gotten this close
To my self
The purest me that is me
She comes shining through  
Baby just for you
finding another soul that vibes with yours and allows you to be you i your you-est self is the greatest blessing.
HT Feb 2018
You dont know the empty cold place you have left,
your brothers and I.
On days you feel like no one loves you,
I know you think of it all. Remorse, distrust; ears ringing
and you cant find your lungs....
you shake yourself out of it, you always do.
No ones better at smiling through the pain than you.
The show must go on.
Tuck your hair back
tell your self to straighten up.
But the lingering emptiness is with in your soul too.
You dont trust your self to fly..
not barley gotten wings.
So much pride.
The very pride that keeps me from sending this letter,
was also born with in you.
If you used the self preservation and that beautiful iron will,
you could lead us all to heaven or hell..
so many call out to you,
none more than I.
Dont feel so sorry for your self,
if you knew the tears that have been wasted,
or not;on you.
Your light is needed,
the world has been bleak and gray for 600 days.
..just phone the house.
REM
HT Aug 2016
REM
Im getting tired
of dreaming about you;
But if it stopped I would
Beg God
Or the Devil himself
to bring your face
Back to my subconscious
Your warm
And angsty vibration
Rippling into mine
Counteracting each other
Into blissful comfort
The synaptic lightning bolts
Flushing my cheek
As we dance upon
Mid summers nightmares
Pushed and pulled
Into
Particles and
Millions of emotions
Your deep eyes capture
The essence of these
Cascading
Visions
Your smell
Permeates the pillow
Until REM  is
Suddenly shocked into
Reality
By the
Beeping
The buzzing and humming
Of reality
Cold
Radiates through my veins
My grade A
******
The last drop
Escapes back
Into the subconscious
I curse your visits
And yearn for one more
Keep having lucid dreams of the lost love that never was
HT May 2016
Shaded woods between our houses;
You run to me and I to you.
Your father’s dapper blue suit;
My mother’s pearls.
Delicate lady lace and feathers.
Your freckles stand out under this
Waning summer moon.
Shall I know love this night?
Or is it still too soon?
Your hands lower me down onto
Her sea stained bow.
The smell of bog and salt hang in the air
Oppressing my youthful lung.
Shove off......
From the furrow,
To the silver sea.
Where is this you intend to take me?
Gentle lapping of the blacked
Tide is the only voice I hear.
I feel you glance my way,
Through the strands of auburn hair
Tousled round my face.
an older work I brushed up today :)
HT Nov 2016
You know **** well
That truth in our lips
Colliding and sparking
Supernova releasing
Every shred of stardust into
The dense atmosphere.
I feel it now still
Smoldering and sparking
On our souls
The everlasting light
Illuminating the darkest depths
Of the abyss.
give me my sin again.
HT May 2018
I surrender to your current
take me under
if you will
I am yours
in every time line
forever
always
still.
I love you
HT Aug 2016
You stand at the top of the stair
Being pulled in directions, both
Your voice speaks
But I Hear your eyes
The beating of your soul
Lost some where
Between wanting to rip
The flesh from my bones
And laying me down in
Surrender to human desire.
My skin crawls with sweat
That has not broken the surface tension
We flow
Like bodies of water
Mountains between us
I trembled at your touch
And you relieved
Every pain
I brought you
The smile
Again
You came to save us both
But only
Reminded us what was evermore; unforgiven
But we make chit chat
About what is expected
Our guilt and lust battle
In subconscious oblivion
Though dense enough for the
Angels to walk upon
You
Trying to run
And trying to stay
I don’t plead nor
Will I beg
Yet in the hearts abyss
You have left me to bleed
I didn’t ask about your dreams
The nightmares of me.
Us.
You walk in mine
You stalk my heart
when I start to feel free
Im sure
Its mutual.
You came at my call  
and stood here
In the darkest hall
You haven’t been here for a while
My heart rejoiced
To hear
You know
Its not the time
And won’t be
Till
The blood clots
And this numbness
Has taken over me
We.
And there you stand readied to leave
Hand twisting anxiously
In dark hair
Smile going on
For a century
How does the moon
Implore, her love
The glorious sun
To stay
In eclipse
When she knows
The entire world would suffer
I turn as you leave
We make light hearted joke
To hide the fight
Deep in our minds
As we break free
To wander alone through this
Galaxy.
HT Jul 2016
I like to believe I have control
Over the fleeting spark
The ripple of disturbances
Over the air waves
But
We both know
It can’t be
Undone
i still feel your heart beating every where i go
HT Nov 2016
Perhaps Ive been looking at this
with narrow eyes
Blinded by the distance
Too caught up in my impatience
To realize
the gift was in the days
The nights
The hours spent
In harmonious revelry
Nothing lost
That was ever unworthy of these things
And ever more under the wing
The gift of time
How different my heart would feel
With out
Your shadow to stir in its echoes
The distance that
Is not so far
That I cant still step out
And hear your
Jovial laughter on the air
Where did we leave this lie?
Or was it to rot before it was to die.
The magnitude of the emotion
Bigger than the loss
More prudent than its ache
The smile I cannot erase
Maybe the forest was
Hidden by these trees
the smoke
the brew
sweet cream and coffee memory of you
and your hand
when once we knew one another
and the worst of each other
in the best of times
never angry
never afraid
the distance is not the curse
the gift was the chance
we took
and lived
and  do
frozen in time
hazy memories of a life lived
in its fullest
too fast
too big
too beautiful
to die
war
HT Nov 2016
war
I cannot believe  
You would run away from
This
When you told me
That you knew it
Was everything
And
I refuse to
Give in to my
Humanity
For you
For ******* you
I listen
And if you were here
Instead of runaway
I would stand my ground
And tell you
As you wish
How wrong it is
To have gone away
When you
Know you
Have just abandon
Your own principality
For false
Peace
..
Fine
trade your ******* heroes for ghost
This war battles on without you
wrote this when i was rage drunk and in star crossed love

— The End —