Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 Dec 2017 Serinda Marie
kas
this is how it happens
it's the last day the temperature will be
above thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit
until February
you're not looking at the date
it's just the end of November
the middle of the night in the middle of a road
at the end of November
the hum of this small town hurts your ears
you're stuck in a dream where everything you see
turns into a weapon
this is how it happens
you knocked back sharp, amber liquid
to make this place feel a little more okay
and it only worked halfway
no matter how soft the edges are
you bruise your hips when you
run into them in the dark
you're ******* on your fourth cigarette when
a police officer pulls over and asks
how you're doing today
in the too-bright white of the headlights
the sick taste of Red Stag sticks to
the roof of your mouth
the mouth that you're moving into a smile
the mouth exhaling plumes of smoke at the ground
you're okay
"i'm okay."
you don't tell him what you're really doing
you're really taking all of your
thoughts about stopping your pulse for a walk
you don't tell him you've been
chasing ambulances all night long
please, officer don't leave me alone, you don't say
he tells you to have a good night and drives away
and this is how it happens
the moon smiles at you with every single one
of its tiny, sharp teeth
nobody but your cat finds you in that bathtub
nobody but your cat watches you rise from red water
watches it drip drip drip
from every chasm carved in your left arm
nobody but your cat saw the soft animal of your soul
shiver from the cold that day
it's the first day the temperature
dropped below
thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit inside your chest
based on true events
essentially
i am nothing
in the morning
a yawning representation
of a person pretending to be
facing out a window
sipping on a bitter cup
gripping onto the unraveling sanity
that is last night's dreams
you were there
some smiling
spinning
short blur of long hair & happiness
you flowed past me like water
& i was damp with sweat
when i awoke
without you
we are nothing
you keep telling me
we'll never be anything because we can't be
you keep saying
with so much emphasis
on the can't
your jaw clicks like
when you're having those nightmares
i wonder if i'm in them
while you thrash
beside me
i wonder who else
you're trying not to love
right now
When she was a young girl of eight.
She learned things that are of great debate.
She wished she could have escaped. But was taught much too late.
Was this her fate?
Her young life taking shape.
Already so much upon her plate.
Leaving  you to contemplate.
She licked you here.. she touched you where?
Shhh ...Don't say a word.
No worries she will never tell.
On and on.
Here and there.
It was something she loved well.
Nothing bad she thought.
But being afraid of getting caught.
Then it stopped.
Her young mind confused.
She just popped
At such a young age already just used.
Not seeing that it as abuse.
Blaming herself with no one to help her choose.
Who is to blame?
Should there be shame?
what did she lose...
Childhood ****** abuse
Life moves sometimes fast
                               Too fast.
                                     So fast.
Woke up one day to see dreams in front of me.
                                Ripped apart.
Still only a plan.
Times always fade. Love will always
                       NEVER
Be swayed.
O was I glad he stayed.  Thought I was so brave.
You stood so tall.
                        NEVER
Would I let you fall.  But it was all just a big stall.
I should have
                        NEVER
Answered the call.
 Nov 2017 Serinda Marie
fdg
3 days
 Nov 2017 Serinda Marie
fdg
Hands a little shaky
I'll drink water and rest.
I'm not sure I deserve it
But I'm obsessed with shaky hands outlining a jaw bone.
And my hands steady as I stare off in space daydreaming alone in my car, smoking
wondering if you're going to have a moment thinking of sitting next to me somewhere by water today.
I'll float out there next time
Body light in the middle of a lake
Hands still, resting on my stomach
Swim back to shore and hands explore in the dark for my ******* mixed in with a pile of both of our clothes

— The End —