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1.4k · Aug 2019
Lotus Illusions 2.7.
SamanthaX Aug 2019
2.7.

I see my dreams
are beginning to
line up
What begins
What ends
It’s the
beginning of a
never ending
end

That’s why
in my visions
I’ve been seeing
you again

Now my
number is
10:10
It’s been burning
behind blue
eyes in the sky

I calculated
and
calculated
Then
my calculations
ran away
I didn’t
maintain them
I forget my
equations

Slowly I slip
back into
my insanity
As I welcome
the
destruction
of the
black void
of my mind
I’ve began
the
countdown
It’s the
perfection
of time

So please excuse
me if I
seduced you
with
The Art
of the
Dark propaganda
I write

I got appealing
ways
to make you
question
every
question
you’ve asked
your whole
life

These intuitive
delusions
Confused
Lotus illusions
Queen of the
fallen rose petal
dreamers

Screaming
so loud
to
drown out
the sound
of
the realities
I’ve seen
through
the eyes
of
Dead seas
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.17.

Frozen open
backpacks
Hand prints on
the wall
I’m my own
best friend
My best friend
is a *****

When people
complain
over those
ditch weeds
We see
the beauty
in orange
tiger lilies

We hate
the cold
But love
the frost
on dead
trees

My only
saviour was
your kitchen
table

Because of you
I wake up
and plot ways
to get
rich and
famous

I’ll follow
the tracks
To the station
South East
I’ll hijack
the railway
On each train
your name
I’ll graffiti

From ocean
to forest
Mountains to
snowy sea
I’ll show
the whole
world
Your love
gives me
reason to
breath
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.25.

Stella Ella
That girl is
super Bella
Ella Stella
Your getting
old
That girl is
gonna grow up
to be a
super nova

Ella Ella ola
My girl you
gotta try
You gotta
get sober
Your so Bella
My girl
you better learn
You gotta
do what I
tell ya

Bella Bella Stella
That girl is so
dangerous
Mi Bella Ella
Now that girl
is worried
She told me
Jesus won’t save us

Oh mi Bella Ella
Now my babies gone
She’s hiding behind
those three
mischievous stars

Mi oh my Bella Ella
So fine so stellar
I tried to help her
However this time
my baby your too
far gone
1.3k · Sep 2019
Lotus Illusions 2.9.
SamanthaX Sep 2019
2.9.

~Torn tears
Tearing through
  The broken pieces
A Artist lives in~


Sun rises break
in my 3:15
dreams
Shattered glass
and
Stained hearts
Bitter sweet are
the memories
of the ways I
maintained
the bruises you
left me

A broken pretty
reflects in the
eyes of a new
beauty

Bare skin
and
Skeletons
are becoming
my best company

Feeling lighter
I light up the
last cigarette
you gave me

Inhaling
your name
Only exhaling  
so I can inhale
you again

I forgot how
good your
rhythm felt

I always forget

How good it
felt
to be the
pleasure
of The Gods
and My Men
It’s tempting
so tempting
with their
bad
intentions

I’m just a
magical event
You can get
wild with
I thought only
The Devil could
get me that wet
Feeling blessed
by the feathers
found in my bed

And if you would
let me love you
Well
that’s exactly
what I would
of tried to do

But my love
has become
as cold as
the midnights
who have lost
their moons

The lace of
lovers tell
captivating
stories with
their satin
bodies and
silk scars

~Welcome to Heaven
  Avoid it if you can ~
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.15.

It was the
fall of 82
Years and
tears after
I tried
to remember
to forget
how much
I loved
you

Now I'm the
talk
of the
town
They watch
me as I
go crazy
Slide on
down
memory hazy

Smile
in confusion
Still under
the illusion
Stung out
Drug-induced
Still asking
myself
Was it love?
Was it lust?
Coming off
the high
of whatever
it was

I’ve been
trying
to remember
how I would
sing your
old tunes
Nights spent
with you
on a going
nowhere
cruz

We would
load up
on *****
and
shotgun shells
Watching the
heavens as
they fell
A shooting
love aimed
at the
stars above
We wanted to
take the sky
down with
us to Hell

I still wear
that gold cross 
necklace
The one you
liked best
How it would
hang between
my soft *******
Place you put
your heavy head
to rest

For a dark
silent time
You laid
awake
Then in a
whisper
you would
say how
My steady
breath
With my
rhythmic heart
beating
My body
singing
Was your
remedy
To get you
sleeping
It gave you
reason
to catch up
on dreaming

Reputation
Repeating
In this
nowhere town

Where falling
in love would
never escape
It will never
be free
from small town
fate
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.19.

It’s been
thirty three days
since I had a my
last nightmare

I still have my
dreams of
realities
soon to come
What I see
there
is far more
frightening
then any
nightmare
you can dream of

This is why my
presence
has become so
haunting
When I speak of
the things
I have seen
Memories of
my voice engraved
forever in your
thoughts
Like silk tainted
with burn marks

I am the fire
that lives inside
you
When your soul has
become burnt out
I will call it my home
Try to defeat me
I will take you down
from  within

All your bottled up
desires
I will turn into a exotic
perfume
That’s how I know
You’ll be back soon

My infections ways
Defective tapes
As I examined back
in time
I realized
I was my own saviour

It’s so hard
to be a Saint
when you’re
this good of a
Sinner
Yet a bad
Sinner trying to
become a
Saint
Neither black nor white
Neither light nor darkness
I am not the space either
But the space
between the space

A woman gone Grey

An rouge observer of what is to come

This is why
my beauty terrifies
You have seen me
before
Everywhere
In dreams and memories
of make believe
In magazines and
works of art
A timeless beauty
Flawed and adored
Boughten of the
shelves
of dusty stores

I have become a
bi product of
provocative thoughts
A alluring fantasy
of a collective humanity
That seduced you
into believing
I was something
I was not

That’s why my
words
you will put on your
grave

I am the first
to wake up
And the last
to fall asleep
Can anyone tell me
Who I have become?
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.22.

Statistics of
statistics
The precise
revision of
demographics
non-existent

The strange
fabrication of
how polluted
and
misconstrued
thoughts

Is a simple
resolution
to every souls
confusion

Can you count
every written
faith?
Books on who's
opinion?
Individually written
by hands influence
by their brand
named wallets

The waste in produce
in mass production
Selling us ideas of
self-destruction
Spending  less
on life lessons
Not saving up
for
self-reflections

Who's dime
pays for time?
Is it time
deciding time?
Or do dimes define
the meaning of time?
Who's time has it become?
What is time?
Time is? Time was?
Time never really
was ours

Watch the kids play
king of high risk
Compete to
defeat in the
depths of debt

Our inherited regrets
forget to check
on emotional scores
you can't get
a credit for
Give praise to high
interest rates
instead of banking
on your faith
Safely you deposit
selfish values
That lock you in
lucrative hate

Bankrup these
divided ideas
Start to believe
in the people
Let’s invest in
each other
again

Who's next in line?
Last in the back?
Who's at the till?
How do you pay
your grocery
bill?
Do you stress?
Depressed?
Do you pay for change?
Presidents and
Prime ministers
face paper electives
bills that select
how countries develop

Look for the Queen
working in virtual
streets
Trying to be a girl
seen in a magazine
Selling the tales
of fictional fascism
Stacked on the
ranks of fast
fashion

Blessed be
the ******
with their new 
Micheal Kors
Losing themselves
in concrete stores
Designers that dictates
your direction
Consuming ourselves
we go off to
slaughter
Is there a refund
in the
death of a daughter?

Who lies?
Who plots?
Who puts capitol
value on gifts
from God?
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.13.

Let me get
high
So I can
sing
to you
the blues

Crush up
poison petals
of small town
sunflowers

Shoot up
on toxic
threats
These are
the promises
of small town
regrets

Last time
I overdosed
I was became
president of
Club 27

Contraband upsells
*** seduced kills
Been craving
the bitter
temptations
Got caught
a few times
stealing
prescriptions
To trade
for cheap
trills
I was getting
my fix on
the worlds
crazy pills

Smashing mirrors
mirrors on
the wall
Who’s the
fairest
*****
of them all?

These are the
lies that lie
between you
and I
I wanna be
your girl
Just don’t give
me a name

Call me nothing
at all

I seek and
I see
a blind
humanity
Pulling the
trigger
on
overpriced
Silver bullets
Dead ringers
with
no dreams
they can say
they had
on
there own
Taking out
loans to get
you to sleep
when your all
alone

All your
secrets
I see
In the crack
of my looking
glass

Everyday
I get
more and
more
outta place
Trying to
maintain
my social
rank
Trying to
afford these
sinister
ways

Maybe just
maybe
one day
I’ll be a
good woman
I’ll learn to
behave
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.16.

This old town
reminds me
of a forgotten
dream
The familiar
lies
remain in
the secrets it
keeps

Can anyone else
see these
invisible
mysteries
I feel
comfortable
in heartache
of your
memories

I wish you
could have
my eyes
So you could
escape to my
reality
I wish you
could have
my ears
So you could
hear the
whisper of
sweet sounds
in my hair

You do have
the gift of
touch
That’s why
you lift
me up

To this day
the best
decision
I ever made
was running
away
To burn down  
this old town
and walking
away

Learning all
my best lessons
from the words  
of the Bible
That’s why I
never look back
after I set a
fire
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.20.

I wrote my
own artist
agreement
Blending the
four primal
colours of war

I’m rewriting
the treaties
Remixes of
aphrodisiacs
My remedies
for life keep
giving me
success

Call me Aphrodite chain smoking
cigarettes
The Lone Orchid of frost bitten
sunsets

I’m the only
one in
one of
a kind
A one hit
wonder that
echos forever
with time

Mesmerizing
Gods and
consolations
I am the
Divine
inspiration

This weak
ecosystem has
made me
vicious again
I wanna see
people get
a bit more
independent

Remove their
denial
See the truth
in the ways
of survival

This is next
level chest
and I’m always
six steps
ahead
When I’m behind
that’s when I
attack at
my best

My bullet proof
**** rate
I’ll take you
out by the neck

Call me up
Say what?

I’ll always be
that crazy
****
saying whatever
it is I want

Ring.Ring.
My telephone
never stops
And I’m never
picking it up
Later I might
hit you
back up

Right now
I’m busy
getting
unplugged
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.3.

I learnt all
my best
lessons
sitting in
basements
chain smoking
with church
ladies

Smoke clouds
old Dior
perfume
filled
cold rooms
The smell
of lives
lived
Heavenly
odour
making love
under black
moons

Hell hath
no fury
like a woman
scorn
by a God

As they
weaved their
golden yarn

Regrets
of the words
lost
to their men
left for
death
in battle fields
long forgotten

They keep saying
that the
government
will save us

I can feel
it’s the end
when
the kids
their not
right
Lost in video
games
they don’t
even play
outside

Everyone else
is done
with living
Busy paying
and
praying over
the real.....

Call of Duty

Me?
I’ll just keep
playing
with my golden
string

Praying
for a
stranger
to throw
anything
my way

I’m just a beggar

Begging for
some much
needed change
754 · Sep 2019
Lotus Illusions 2.8.
SamanthaX Sep 2019
2.8.

I see you
Looking at me
Through me
Like a broken mirror
Looking at
the broken pieces
of yourself
The broken pieces
of myself
The broken pieces
of everything
else

The mirror
that broke
in our last
life
In our life
before that
it was a gift
You made it for us

Because this love
was our blessing
our curse
Since before love
was a word
The word we created

Constructed out
of the sounds I made
When our eyes locked
fingers brushed
When you grabbed my hair
pulling me to you

This word in every form
Like this connection
Like every broken piece
of every mirror and all
we see through it

In it
Past it
Within us
Is us
Ours alone
Two lost
broken
the oldest
of souls

Love to be reborn

Gifted to us
by the Gods
in which is us
The Heaven who needs a Hell
The life who fabricated death
The star that cannot shine
without the sky behind
Nothing would exist
without you and I
Even time itself
can never unionize
without you and I

You will create Eve
I will give birth to Adam
If you are God
I will be your Lilith
If you are the will
of a sinner
I will be the faith
in forgiveness

As love as our witness
My gift to you
Is the love you
created
the love that made
our world
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.14.

Never will
you be
able to tame
the wild
in me

I am
A animal
A savage
A feral
figment
of long lost
nightmares

I can see  
through your
manipulative
tricks
Now watch
as I dig
your ditch
Still in my
stiletto
kicks
With the smell
of last nights
gunpowder
Your shirt
stained with
my led kiss

Broken wrist
Vintage lips
scratching
burnt up  
fingerprints
******* lies
behind deaths
pale blue eyes
Lay your head
between my
thighs

Death threats
chain smoking
silent
cigarettes
Sit back down
babe
we’re not
finished yet

Those cowboy
lips
Still killing
it
1st degree
******
Never gave
a ****
Oh the things
I will do
to make me
feel alive
SamanthaX Jun 2019
2.1.

There ain’t a
chance
My Baby can
dance
But he’s always
looking handsome
in his black t-shirts
of 90s grunge
bands

This is a
Dead mans
land
Taking hits
I can see the
lipstick on the
back of your
hand

Snow White
flesh
My hearts
frost bitten
Noir Princess
It’s been a few
total solar
eclipse since
I’ve been
a rich mans
Mistress

Maybe God is
lonely Baby
Maybe God is
tired Baby
God is lining up
the shots
knocking on
my window
He wants me
to be his lucky
little lady

He likes a
bad *****
who can admit
she’s a little bit
egotistic

My Mother keeps
askin
“Samantha
  have the voices
  come back again”

Well ya Mom but
this time it’s moving
in a different
direction

Were singing in
harmony
Dancing in
ashes
Holding each others
with cold grip
hands

Pale sunrises
And misfortunate
lost souls are
digging for gold
Beware of the
mauvais martyrs
who sacrifice
wilted marigolds
SamanthaX Nov 2019
2.16.

In one eye
I see God
In the other is
the Devil

Feathers fell
from a hidden
heaven

You are a cold
stencil
in my bedroom
Dancing fingertips
on my canvas hips
My flower petal
skin
that sandpaper
hands
strip away
A living work of
Art
You wanted on
your wall
of fame

To afraid to
understand
So you painted
a fake
SamanthaX Aug 2019
2.6.

Dead is
The Silver Century

So continue
the fight
The endless
wars
Rack up
Stack up
Under the
influence
of invisible
social scores

Into the
depths of
debt
I went

Tried to
buy back
my soul

Forsaken
It had been
taken
from me
By the hand
that
feeds me
The hand
that
diseased me
The hand
that
materialized
It forced
greed
onto me

In Grey
backgrounds
Lay bone white
symbols
What’s left of
the sacred
words will tell
the visions of
the dead

Living miracle
to miracle
I’m praying
for a miracle
The days
are getting
nearer
And
I can’t help
but wish that
the apocalypse
would hit

There have
been 27 times
I forgot
my name
So I take you
to my bed
so I can hear
it again

As the Babylonian
rivers
run into the
red
Translations
of sins
I need
to forget

So be careful
now
I have been
permitted  
to say what
needs
to be said

Tell me

What is the taste
between
Heaven and Hell?

Is there a better
flavour?

Take my hand
let me guide
you
Feel the silence on my lips
Savour beauty on my hips
The architecture
of my back
My eyes have become
a fatal trap
My body is your
poetic map
SamanthaX Jun 2019
26.

Why I am
the way I am?
I would tell you
but I can’t

I’m  on the run
I’m a convicted  
felon

If I told
you
my real name
They would
hunt you
down too

Tycoon of concrete roses
Call me the iconic Muse

God gave me
one look
Six days
later
I made this
world
for you

Day seven
we kicked
back
You showed
me seven
ways
to make me
scream
for the
heavens

Universal *******
for two

I’ll definitely
burn in Hell

Or spend real
time in a
prison cell

This is me
at my finest
drastic dramatic

Cameras flashing
get to dress
classy
steal some
new shoes
got some TV
interviews

Get ready world
for
The Art of *****
act two

27.

Played Russian
roulette
fully loaded
gun
Pistol whip
Watching blood
drip
really turns
me on

Why didn’t I
go on the run?

I like getting
punished
for the bad
things
I’ve done

When I get
caught
One hand on
the bible
one hand on
my heart

Judge asking
if I’m ashamed
of the crimes
I did commit

Asks why
such a nice
girl
did it
to begin
with

My sweet
innocent
voice
sharp like
a whip
replies
no lies

“why the hell not?
only heaven knows
why I lit that
fire up
and the sins
I’ve committed
lying in bed
with a god”

Judge looks at
the guard  
he gives a
small nod

“release this
queen
take off  
her cuffs”

“can you put
them
back on?
I like it
when
the cops
rough  
me up
Slap me around
I ain’t never
gonna talk”

In the court
house
I lit
that
***** up

28.

Oh Lord
why didn’t you
buy me that
Mercedes benzs?

I had to call up
the Devil
Got the keys
to his
Lexus instead

Tried to give
him
my soul
but he’s to
scared
to own that

Said I’m going
to have to      
learn to do
as I’m told
God told him
to say that

Said to find
me a few
rich men
Learn to use
my words
to entice them

I’ll be their
1970s *******    
centre fold
Living on a
cover
is the only
way
I’ll ever
be owned

I’ll spend
the rest of
my days
in a haze
of old
lovers perfume

Waiting for you

Staring in
that
two way
vanity
that vintage
mirror
that drove me
to insanity

29.

Why was I
scared
to question
your natural
ways

Questions I ask
can cause
hurricanes

My Tsunami
of tears
would make
your heart
break

I knew one day
I would ask you
to leave when
I want you to
stay

I gave you
free will

So go or stay

Board up
my door
Nail it
all down
Take shelter
in the
cellar
Flood gates
breaking down

Digging a moat
so my heart
won’t drown
I can’t afford
another perfect
storm

Now I watch
gentle summer
rain
kiss my
window pane

Praying for
the day
you come back
and kiss
my pain
away

30.

Why am I
still living
in layers
of heaven
so deep?

In layers
of you
layers of
me

Layers of
what
could of
been
Mostly I stay
in layers
of hell

Layers of
what I want
things
to be

Still so
layered
in you so
deep
Last call at
the bar
I’m in so
deep
I’m taking
shots of
the sea

I’m sinking
I’m drinking
Got ran out
for making
this place a
dry town

Try to find
peace
with whatever    
stranger
carries me
out

This bed feels
familiar
only because
I’m praying
I’m saying
“oh god don’t stop.”

Praising
the right
heavens
I’m saying
your name
instead

31.

Why I know
the day
I die
They’ll make
that day
a holiday

The world forever
will remember
my name

A Holy Saint
A Goddess reincarnated
A daughter of Titans

I’m all grown up
now I’m claiming
my birth right

The world
in my palm
this time
only I
own my hand

Make my grave
a national museum

Babe if I never
do see you
again
I want to say
thank you
From the moment
you walked in
you saved me
from sin

Let me call you my
Jesus

Remember where
you were
when
I asked if
it’s true

When you said
yes babe
I really do
love you

Where did you
read the
first words
I sent

Remember when
I said
Sorry babe
But
I gotta go
I’m making my
life a living
work of
art
SamanthaX Jun 2019
2.3.

Who persuades
a sorrow
such as love?

The ghost of
what was
lives in the lost
Odyssey
of what would
never be

It’s the wait at
the end
of the season
to see what
secrets
it will reveal

Echoing in
the roots of
your bones
the sadness of
your soul will
fall with the
tragedies  of
autumn leafs

Revealing a
silver sliver
cold
winter moon
Your girl lays
her head to
rest
listening carefully to
the words of
Nirvana

How did you
find me playing
in your darkest
shadows?

You planted
wild flowers
where I weeped
Tears for you
turned to seed
blossoming
into a life
so beautiful

After all that was
endured
a child was born
with the mind
of a God
Who understood
every hardship
every heartache
A gift from grace

Now blessed
with sweet
sleep
Remembering
nothing of the
pain

For life is only
but a
dream
SamanthaX Aug 2019
2.5.

Make me a hostage
I begged everyday
It gives me a
excuse
to take my
breath away

Cutting wrists
just to cultivate
a cleaner
culture

It was a
lemon haze
A Yellow Summer

And for 66
days
I was a good
woman
I was well
behaved

I remember back
in the days
of
Champagne clouds
in
Blue Illusion Summers

The comfort
of smoky clubs
with
beat up floors
Tearing it
up
Then singing
to the sky
I was taking down
the night

Stolen Polaroids
snapped back
memories of
black and
white
Photos
of blood stained
Hotel Bibles
filled with blank
pages
I wrote my
lonely stories
My pen was
dipped in
God ******
ink

These were
my tears
for the Devil

Becoming
the silence
Violence
Thunder crashing
Hit me up with
lightning
You would never
believe how cold
I could be
Laying there
Naked
beside
him
455 · Jun 2019
My Man is a Dandelion 1.28.
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.28.

I once was a
mistress
of a cowboy in
The New West

The way he kissed
The way he touched
When we made love
No filter
it was rough

And just like the
tobacco he rolled
that *******
lit me up

Well my Daddy
always said
Every Best Western
always gets ruined
by a Scarlett
that falls for
a cowboy like
My Man
445 · Jun 2019
My Man is a Dandelion 1.32.
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.32.

I have accepted
the insanity
of having this
beautiful mind

I am Pandora
I let myself
out of the box
To answer
every question
of the paradox

Follow me
I'll show you
how to
level up

I can see
the old world
memories
Written first
page in every
book

Death is only
the
beginning

My name?
Is a name
still a name
if the translation
is lost?

Call me the prophecy
foreseen
in a fiddlers
dream

As I stand
under the burning
dead tree

Layer by
layer
I'm digging
my own grave
Trying to find
the love
I lost

To lay
by his side
Naked skeletons
watch how our
bodies entwine

On our
gravestone
written in
gold
So even in
then it is
known our flesh
is more valuable
then yours

Love is never lost

With my death
Shoot me up with
lithium
Wrap me in silk
Engrave my name in
your skin

Deep down in
the bleeding
ground

That is where
My Man
is found
444 · Jun 2019
My Man is a Dandelion 1.30.
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.30.

Locked away
in my harem
My sinister bedroom
Of lost lonely souls
Burning my holy wood
Waiting for the call
from My Man
in Hollywood

Forbidden miracles
Outlaws and sinners
Excepting holy trades
Prayers to justify
my evil ways

I’m smoking the
finest of *****
Imported from
the diamond
projects
My Man
He smuggled
it in

Oh now look
what he did
He tied me up
in lace
He made me
scream
He made me beg
Then on my
knees
He made me say

“Please
  I need one
  last kiss
  so I don’t fall
  from my Grace”

Your eyes
I once needed
like ******
Now bite me
like a venomous
snake
I tried to find
a cure in someone
else but they
****** out
my soul and
told me I was
healed

These Grey
mistakes
I make

Will eventually
make me famous
Temporarily outrageous
My etiquette is
dangerously contagious

On the front page
On every News paper
The headlines will
be saying

That girl is
Extra, Extra!
Read all about it!

These are the
questions to ask
when God’s become
reincarnated
SamanthaX Aug 2019
2.4.

******
is what I’m writing

Let me hear your
sweet little lies

I love how you
tell your tale
of dark fairytales
Stories of illustrated
deviants

Monsters are
inspired
by everyday
hero’s

Close my eyes
Hold my breath
Lay my head
on your bare
chest

All your secrets
I keep between
my thighs
Waiting for
Black Ravens
to make their
escape
across enemy
lines

There is a
paradise
lost
in the heart
of all of us

Now I am blind
So blind
I’m so blind
Trying to find
Real words to
speak

Do you remember
how your heart
would bleed
on top of me?

Beat
Beat
Beating and
bleeding

Never satisfied
You will always be
seeking

I’m going on
pay per view
dates
with
desperation
and despair
Placing ******
bets
Lap dances
on
Musical chairs

I’m taking
Deaths dare
Truth is
I was never
******* scared

Everyday
I hack away
at my own
Achilles heel

Im done wasting
my life
being
brain washed
to worship
false
fear
SamanthaX Jun 2019
14.

All day long I float between
galaxies and deep space.

Try to call me up but,
I’m in a daze,
stuck in my ways.

Eternities of not believing.

Confusions of forgotten Gods.
New technical ways of praying.

I take the back door to heaven.

Invite myself for dinner in the
inner circle of hell.
  
Where I am the ***** of  
daffodils.
Call me the duchess of nowhere.  

I need to stay a bit more
grounded.

I need to take a bath in black    
Earth dirt.

Catch some colour, from rays
of divine.

Where I can see the contrast in
white cloudless skies.

Count different visions. Potential realities.
The dreams I keep.
When I don’t sleep.

15.

I am standing in front
of Catholic Church doors

Praying for mythical
biblical disasters

Now I’m sitting in rooms
with lost ambitions
Praying to numbers
like it’s true religion
  
Back to the church
Holy man holds my hands

In the granite temple my
body lays
All my old lovers go there
to pray

Playing hide and seek
in a graveyard of dreams
What version of me
are you trying to see

Never knew one man had
the power to put me
on my knees
That ******* got me
to repent for things
I never did

In the ditch you’ll
find a cross

Central skid marks
the lost of  
my first love

16.

Where can I find a place,
where my haters can gather.
A online fan club,
teenagers can plan escapes  
together.

Where can I rent a church hall
filled with love lost and
repetitive regret?

I want everyone to have a safe place to say my name in vain in.

Let them sing my praises.
To my figure so perfect.
  I’ll bake golden loaves,
  brew up silver lining  moon        
   shine.

Shots going down.
Feel the burning divine.

Sunday service,
starts at a quarter to hell.

I need some time.
I need to get high.

Need a holy man to spank my
behind.

Then I’ll be able to teach you,
how to reach those unholy
desires.

17.

I’ll be on that half moon  
rising
  Dancing on laps
   good lord knows
    I really need the cash

Using my tears
to control rising tides
Just like a flood
my love comes
and goes

I love the days
when the full moon
Rising sun
North Star
share the sky
full of possibilities

Rare days such as those
I swear I can hear
the Angels
their singing

Can you be my
white curtain?
Can you be my
sun rise?

Bare skin
Candles lit
Good morning
Rough kiss

Love is seeing
those lights
when I look
in your eyes

    
18.

Where do I bury the man I love
most?

A man a barely know. I’ll call  
you my broken ghost.

In my veins my blood pumps    
because of you.

That’s the vein I want to bury
you in pain too.

That way every time I try to
use that vein to get rid of
the pain.

You remind me of the pain that
made me loose you.

That’s why on my wrists I got
these tattoos.

Where I can look right at how you turned my heart black too.

I give you forgiveness
go get some rest.

One on my left.
Left empty again.
Left alone once again.

Nomadic heart break after heart    
    break.

In a place where almost is my
happy ending.

19.

For a long time I’ve waited,
marking the graves.
My bedroom has become a ritual place.
In flower Petals I drown.

Funeral songs replaying.

Black vinyl. Tinted window. Killed a spider. I’m a widow.

I’m burning every black thing down.
I’m heading to town. I
Gonna rob a house.
  Gonna take something
   blue.
  That makes it my
   borrowed.
  Tell your wife,
I’m borrowing you too.

Something old,
is the days I spent waiting    
for you.

Say your vows right,
I’ll show you new tricks in my    
bedroom.

Living room, public bathroom   wherever strikes the mood.

When I grow up. I will find
the place you hide your pain.

I’ll take it away.
That is what I promise,

I do.
428 · Jun 2019
My Man is a Dandelion 1.27.
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.27.

I have become
the manifestation
of all desires
Temptation incarcerated
If you want to get
with me
Only God need apply

If a misbehaved
woman makes
history
My story will
become mythology

This is the Dandelion Odyssey
You can call me Helen of Troy

A beautiful mind
and behind
such as mine
Has been known
to cause
a few holy wars

I’m making new
combinations
as a clever decoy

I’ll go down in
silent skies
Rare Northern
lights
As I dance on 17
sharp edges
Take one look
at me
I’m a vision
of a masterpiece

A new age
Mona Lisa
The perfect
reality of
Valhalla and
Hel

As I walk down the
staircase in
my 9 inch
heels

I’m looking
around
And I’m not
a fan
I can’t seem
to be able
to find
My Man

Bloodlines
of
Dark Tzars
Smoking cigars
Filling holes
in
Old cemeteries

I’m trying to find
my long lost
Baby
SamanthaX Jun 2019
2.2.

Do you remember?
How my lips use to
sing
sweet songs on
your skin

The greatest
symphony
was the midnight
melody
of your voice
holding me
to sleep

Right then
I knew you
loved me
because
your breath had
become my own
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.23.

I wish you
could see how
beautiful
I didn’t even
try to look
on the day
of your
funeral

In the snow
Under the lap post
With you my ghost
Barefoot in my
heartbreak
With fallen
snowflakes
I dance alone
with my mistakes

With them I
melt away
Me and my
snowflakes
Without you we
dissipate

It’s you
It’s always been
you
From the moment
I met you
Was the moment
I became alive
First time I
got high
Now I’m committing
homicide
trying to remember
that look in your eyes

Since the beginning
of time
Guess you lost the
memories of when
God created
you and I
That forest gone
grey when I thought
I lost you

God was in
a jealous rage
when I chose you
He only made me
so you wouldn’t be
so lonely too
He never knew
I would refuse
to live without you

The world saw
first anger
when he saw how
I made love to you

So put all the
blame on me
The wrath of
God
made me so
frisky
Blame all the
lost and pain
on me
Nothing gets off
like a sinner
like me
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.12.

North of
the Nile
I was bound
by gold
My story
was stolen
then it was
sold
Written as
a reality
read it
remained a
mystery
Mistreated
and beaten
all for a
penny

I fled to
the West
To join a
traveling
burlesque
I danced
I swayed
With a flick
of the hips
I’m learning
new tricks
As a gypsy
apprentice

Out in
the East
my body
becomes your
mythology
In water
so holy
my spirit
was poured
Secrets lost in
salty rivers
Dead Sea scrolls
tell stories
of the souls
If ancient oceans

South on Grey
highways
I’ve been
hitchhiking
for days
I’m running away
I’ve spent too
many days in
the chase
Fast flashes got
away
Embers
Ashes
Lightning and rage

So try to
catch me
you will
become
more lost

I’m the
graveyard
master
The original
boss

I designed
this game
Burnt it
all down
Then took
all the
lost

Into the
infinite  
divine
The gentle
sublime
Listen to my
rhymes
I’m giving
you
my blessing
of time
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.24.

I letter to
my Mother

I think
I might
make it this
time around

I’ll be a
big star
I’ll get my
big break
Made it to
Hollywood
Sorry for
stealing
your old mans
car

I'll be living
in allies that
hide between
Northern boulevards
and old forgotten
concrete dreams

Lavender and
caviar
Cologne and
cigars
Taboo and
mischief
Using cheap
lipstick
Rewriting the
hit lists

I'll become that
last world
wonder
that echos
forever
pushing rhythmic
sounds
beyond safe
limits

This is risky
business
Practicing my
divine
debut lines
Telling the
story of a
girl
blessed with
bad habits
God given
talents
looks that
seduced
and words
that produced
death sentences
that tempted
the Devils final
trill

So good bye
fair well
For now
Mother dear

This time
I’m taking my
place
accepting my
fate
In my bare
feet
I’m taking center
stage
For my grand
finale
as a silver-screen
Queen
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.26.

I sit by my bedroom window
Smoking
Waiting
Praying the Rosary  

Counting how long
it takes to inhale
different brands
of cigarettes

For 144 days
I have waited for you

Tracking every minute
Time
Tick
Ticking
away
is what I have left  

I don’t write these
sad poems because
you broke my heart
No
I write them because
you made me whole again

I remember telling Jesus
as he was about to
lay down his cross

“ you chose this
  this does not have
  to be your fate”

But he had made
his decision long ago

He never said
the words in my presence
But I know he died to save me

The only reason
a hero
is victorious
is because
they choose
to loose
everything

As I continue to look out
my bedroom widow
Remembering a day
I felt more free
Now
even the sun remains cold

That’s all there
really was
of me
That’s all that’s
really left
of me
A faded memory
of a passing moment
when nothing really mattered
Locked away in my bedroom
when everything seemed possible
in a impossible moment

If I could have it my way
the world wouldn’t
be much better
of a place anyways

I tried so hard
to save everyone’s
grace
but I struggle
daily trying to
save my own

And now
I don’t even have
Jesus around
to save me
anymore

So I am leaving
the graveyard
where I love to linger

Top of my class
On the honour roll
I graduated
I received my
Masters

This is my last life
With my death
I’m going to
cause natural
disasters
330 · Jun 2019
My Man is a Dandelion 1.29.
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.29.

My Man
My Man
He
disappeared
again
He’s up in
the sky
Getting his
belt
Gonna make me
his girl
again

My Man
My Man
Gonna put me
in my place
again
He’s high
so high
on regulated
*****

Don’t overdose
off dosages
that set out
to become  
oceans

Drinking
Jupiter’s gin
Getting drunk
So drunk
Spinning around
Falling down
Creating new
orbits
Galaxies within

Universe was
made
When My Man
made a
commitment

My Man
My Man
He’s craving
me again
In my bed
dark desires
and discipline
Telling me
how good
so good
I’ve been
Making it
hard
so hard
to repent
for what
I did

My Man
My Man
He ain’t
never
gonna ask
My Man
My Man
He is
begging
me for
forgiveness

I must be
The Queen
of the
******

I ain’t never
gonna give him
back
Your Man
Your Man
I’m making
him mine
again
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.11.

I’m debating
and contemplating
in cemeteries
with dug up
graves
Multiplying decisions
I’ve already
made

Strategies divided
I got territory
to claim
Calculating so quickly
I live a lifetime
each day

I’ll be a good woman
this time I swear
Learn to respect
the ritual
of repent
Spend some
more time
down on
my knees
There I’ll be
praying
for all my
enemies

Flowers turned
to dust
High heel
steps
echo with
death
I live in
long lost
graveyards
Hidden between
sunrise
and sunset

Only long after
my death
will it be
said
That girl was so
holy
hot and
*****

In a new
written religion
I’ll be called
a trinity

A Holy Saint
Lonely Sinner
Lost Goddess
of Divine Symbols
318 · Jun 2019
My Man is a Dandelion 1.31.
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.31.

I grew up in a
dead relic
culture
Sometimes
I wonder if
I  am to
abide by
My Mans
law

Wandering so
delicately
I am becoming
Mother Nature
slowly reclaiming

Ivory castles
Fragrance
of
frankincense
Dissolving lies
with butterfly
nets
That were weaved
so faithfully
by dear
Penelope
In midnights
past
Made from
her silk tears
and cobwebs
crystal clear

Every now and then
I catch me a clever man

Laying and lying
in fields with
My Man
Les Fleur Sauvage
Telling him my
visions of Eastern
catastrophes

For eight days
My Baby
you won’t be
able to find
me
I’ll be planting
White Lilies
in the Red Caves
in my dreams

And I have seen
the futures
Tasted the fear
Watched the
Angels cry
their fiery
tears  

The road to heaven
is paved with
bad intentions

And Dear Lord
When I do get to
Hell
Please let me
bring
My Man
He’s a real
*******
We’re gonna
burn
hand in hand
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.4.

I know you

We met
once upon
a made up
reality
Just a
figment
of Death
We were
daydreaming

That look
in your
eyes
Tell’s me
it's
no longer
you

I guess the
rumours
are
true

You're the
one
I thought
I never
knew
if you
knew

I made
you
fabricated
you
Something
my
imagination
ran away
too

A safe
place
To save
me
from you

But if I
know you
I know that
you do
I know
that you
will
come back
to me
soon

You always do

You love the
way
You love me
and
I love to
pretend
to love you
too
316 · May 2020
44.1.
SamanthaX May 2020
I wonder what
happened
that gave you those
shotgun hands
Designing silence
When words go blind
faith gets violent

The things that
use to fill my days
are gone
A line was crossed
Forced madness won
Once you see
you see
you always saw

And I’m always
Breaking the law
Breaking the law
But who’s law
governs all?

Mirror
Mirror
on the wall
Mirror
Mirror
watching you crawl

I watched you
It’s a long fall
311 · Nov 2019
Perennial Muse 1.
SamanthaX Nov 2019
1.

Fame or glory
Written in
a Sunday morning

Watching 44
sunsets
As I helped
put
the finger
on the
trigger

Prayers keeping
pieces of
me together

Brick walls were
bleeding
Words lost their
faith
Hope was
scratching
calling my
name

And I’m not sure if
time
has become my
friend
or my enemy
SamanthaX Jun 2019
20.

When I was born
was long before
Christ

I’ll live
forever
A lot longer
then these
capital
lies

I am a timeless widow

Who grew old
in circles
of my
forgotten divine

I once was a
captive
like a clock
on a shelf

Empress of wild Blue Bells
Call me a daughter of Titans

Thiea herself
blessed me
with her
light
  
When I was
Athena
I committed
first ****

My children
Cain and Able
both died by
suicide

So don’t be
a fool
and
give me
your heart

This world
has
made me
starve

I’m hungry
Take it    
back

I’ll eat your
heart
for a
bedtime snack

21.

When I was
that
community ****
The one your
husband
wants to ****

The *****
who’s your
best friend
To ****
that ****
up

See why my head
is a consistent
battlefield?

The minute I
wake up
I’m already
counting
the casualties

When I am
asleep
you haunt my
dreams

When you
realize
you belong
to me

I won’t stop
fluttering
your waking
thoughts

When we reach
our next
life
we both become
butterflies

With two
broken wings
Both too
hurt to
fly

22.

When you
want to
come find
me

I’ll still be
playing
for keeps

Still enjoying
some forbidden
luxuries

Got nothing
left
to sell
Done with
my tricks
at heavens
stairwell
    
When you
have had
all that
I had

When you
lose
everything
I had
to lose

I purposely
lost
everything                        
I could

I knew
it was the
only        
way I could
find you

When you
know
the difference
of what is
lost
and what it is
to lose

Between
what it is
to lust
and what
it is to
love

To forgive
you must forgive
yourself

Then you
will see


The loneliness
you feel
is a lonely
I feel too

23.

When I’m
sitting
in the back room

Walk through
Back door
Go down
Bottom floor

You can
find me
there
Call it my
Rabbit hole

After I make
the cover of
The
Rolling Stone
There I’ll be
doing lines
off my cover
of Vanity Fair

So put me
on a poster
Make it
my grave
Pin me
on your
ceiling
Maybe this
time
I’ll behave

Late at night
when you
can’t fall
asleep

Stuck in
your bed
A prisoner
in your
head
Look up
and say
your sweet
******* prayers

You’re staring
at a woman
That gives
a nightmare
a scare

24.

When I was
standing
outside that
downtown
burlesque

I was standing
away
didn’t want
to take
no part
of that crowd

I was smoking
a
cigarette

When I met
the strangest
man
more strange
then
any man
I had ever
met

He was
selling
treasures
he found
in the
trash

There in his
pocket
he pulled
out
a worn
out
crumpled  
piece of
paper

That’s when
I got
first glance
at Gods
mysterious
plan

Now if
the day
were
to ever come
and you
were
to meet
a sinner
as good
as me

On the calendar
mark that
day down

Make that
the day
you met a
Saint
with no
crown


25.

When I
do die
don’t bury
me
at all

Nail me down
to the cross
Crucifix burnt
to a crisp
Let my ashes
spread
in the wind

Rest of your
days
are spent
breathing me
in

When I
grow up
I want to be
the White
Lilacs
you plant

Cuz babe
me and you
isn’t just
meant to be
or
suppose to be
everyday
spent away
from you
is a missed
shot
at destiny

Do you know
how long
I held up
my gun?

Semi automatic
pointed
at demonic
heads

The 12 gage
I used
to persuade
the Angels
to let me
have you

The amount
I paid
in
the ransom
of fate

Make no
mistake
of my faith

Testing my
patience
is how
you **** me
too
277 · Mar 2020
Roses Cry at Midnight 11.
SamanthaX Mar 2020
Maybe I’ll never write again
My words will turn to ash
in my mouth
Ink will bleed
Rust and blood
This vintage pen will break

Is this all that I am
Rhythm and syllables
Confined by definition
Complying and lying
And hesitate questions

I got no use for a name anyways
And I’m always over complicating
the simplest of things

The moon is smiling
between telephone wires
Venus is crying
So I sleep alone
And over Gods eyes
I close the blinds

Now time begins to move
right through me
I’m trying to delegate time
But it’s catching up to me

The sun is rising
To empty street views
The Sirens are singing
Their calling for you

So lay your sins down
to rot in summer backyards
where the children go and play
Let them pick them up
Let them learn a few things
277 · Oct 2019
Lotus Illusions 2.12.
SamanthaX Oct 2019
It’s hard reading maps
Bleeding eyes porcelain highways
Who have I become
My first haiku !!!!
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.

I am an old soul,
if not one of the oldest
to walk this cursed dirt

Queen of the lilies
Call me Mother Earth

I gave birth to
  original sin

I conceived it with
  good faith

Sin so blessed

It heard you
question it’s reason

Watched you
turn to your judgement

Tell me?
How would you know
true beauty if I
never gave you sin?

You took my beautiful sin
You made it so ******* ugly

2.
    
I am the daughter of two
strangers
who never knew the
dangers
of playing the game
of compliance

Relying on the lies of loving
one another to love each other

I am the result of a paradox

On the same day one accepted  
the stranger inside and died

The other died and became the
stranger they had accepted  
inside

I accepted my death in a place
where two rivers collided

Call me miracles divided

3.

Out East they call me
the Wicked ***** of
the West

Out West they call me,
the Craziest **** of
the East

I just want to be the girl
who follows the broken coast

Chasing my forgotten dreams

The girl who never missed
a step
dancing to her rhythmic
heart beats

The algorithmic ***** who’s  
passionate desires calculates
between what she needs, what
she wants.

I just want to achieve perfect
results that get me off

4.

I am the need the wind
blows

I am the warmth in sun
glows
  
I am the shadow of everything
at the fall of night

At first dawn of day

I am the light that chases
your shadows away

I am the perfect imperfection

The Lord above respected my
divine wisdom

He blessed me with his vision
  
Now I am the muse that chooses
the real views of the reality
you perceive.

Can’t you see?
I am the woman of your dreams


5.
    
I am who I am
  
I know
many thing
    
To know the things I know
is a curse and a blessing
    
One thing I truly know
  trust me when I say
    
I know exactly how it felt
when Jesus was asked to  
  save our souls.
    
I felt the weight of the
world on my petite
  shoulders
    
Inch by inch
    
Nails of commitment.            
    
Felt the hammer hit.
    
Tangled hair, wearing a
****** crown.
    
Smiling with my broken
frown
    
Sitting in my break of
dawn garden.
  
Waiting for my City.
My King. My Spartan

6.
  
For too long
I have been
a ghost
singing sorrow
in the graveyard  
where I grew up

Drinking the blood
from the
Philosophers
cup

Trying to fill
my cold    
heart up
And
Trying to repair
the devils
violin

So I can sing
the sirens
song again

Who will I be
when I grow  
up?
    
You can call me culture

It was I
who inspired  
Da Vinci

You can call me
high class
renaissance

I whisper secrets
in-sane
artistic visions
    
With my death
bury me in
Pandora’s chest

That’s where I belong

Don’t save
my grace
No cross
No rock
I want nothing
to mark
my spot

In the graveyard
of Eden
is where
I stay lost
251 · May 2020
13
SamanthaX May 2020
13
I saw you through
dawns of
grey
Smoking cigarettes
divided
into four quarters
So far from home
I had forgotten
my way
And the seasons went by
and I kept waiting
to feel something inside
In the requiem of
silence
With my tear drops at
Midnight

They say God is dead
But I’m still breathing
And bleeding
Falling victim
and believing
Now it’s getting
lonely
having company
without the
sunshine

I’m the type of girl
who is loved through
poetry
Left all alone
I gnawed on
your bones
that were dipped
in honey
they tasted so
sweet
and I was so
hungry

Looking back at
snapshots
of being trapped
in time
Reflecting on the
darkness
before it knew
the sky
Now I close my eyes
Lay me down to rest
I want to be made
empty again

Living just for today
The sun is inviting
But I turn it away
SamanthaX Oct 2019
2.13.

I’m walking through a
Masterpiece
This lonely dirt road
Reminding me of
a old familiar place
In a time
before time
became a
long time ago

Where your
white bones
were carved
to become my own

In the stories of
past and present
constellations

Of how we all fall down
The Values of
the Dead Wildflowers
All fall down

Hush now
Listen to the
sound
Of petals decay
Let them fall down
Rotting away

Cold fingers lifting
away lullaby lingerie
Corporate corpses
refilling graves
Hush now
As you fall down

Singing
Ringing
Around

Again with the
death threat lies
Give me a breath
of life when I die
So I can break
free
So I can fall
down
Hush now
Gun to my head
Hush now
Don’t make a sound

Breaking free
I found your
broken body
I know you
I see you keep your
Demons close

I do too

The tale of stars
and their
troubled hearts
trailblazing down
together in
tangled sheets

In the arms
of God
falling asleep
SamanthaX Nov 2019
2.14.

Cut me open
just to watch me bleed
Legends can be told
by the scars on my body
When hero’s
become human
From their glory they fall
With a world so corrupt
Comfort can be
found in the tales
of monsters and men
They hid under
your bed
stay hidden
in your head

Do you want to see
what I see?

I whispered in your ear
in the dead of the night
Rough hands
running up
running  down  
Wanting between
my thighs

I can see the lust
written in blood
Grey skies
Old graves
It’s a cold autumn day
Ballet of fallen leafs
In my bare feet
It’s my favourite playground
a cemetery of dead dreams
I collected over the
***** consumer
centuries

I’m comfortable when
the walls come
crumbling down
Finding serenity in misery
At least something
understands me
In times of tragedy
I’m always at peace

Perhaps that’s why
I’m excited to die
I tell the black crows
In circles they fly
I want them to
take me away
see every dark
and twisted place

Through the eyes of a bird  
I will travel this world
240 · Nov 2019
Perennial Muse 2.
SamanthaX Nov 2019
Perennial Muse 2.

You fight so hard
to play the part
of the villain you
believe yourself
to be

I wish someone had
loved you
before we collided

Being born
in the shadows
Blind when you
try to see

A sky that
cannot hold
the sun

Watch as the
knight
falls
237 · Sep 2019
Lotus Illusions 2.10.
SamanthaX Sep 2019
2.10.

Freedom accepts
its prison
and shows no
mercy

Write a story on
war
your body holds
one
Use my lips to
dip
words you long
for

Late night schemes
Lipstick lyrics
Radio plays
Forehead kisses

The dialogue
in your singing
eyes
God shed a tear
for you

Three Angels were
saved
Bar tabs were paid
Fate stumbles home
always finding its
way

Can you remember?

I do
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.1.


All day long
I walk around
singing my
sweet sad
songs

It gets lonely
being the
only one
who hears
God
muttering to
no one

Call me the
Holy gladiator
Lost profit
fighting
Tiger Lilies

Done dancing
behind copper
bars
I bow
to no one

Watch how gracefully
I enter diamond
dimensions
Throw some
flowers
born from dirt
and gravel
Kiss my
onyx
heel heals

In my
pent house
castle
Watching champions
Silver stadiums

Now the games
have just
begun
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.9.

I lied
about you
to live in
a lie that
was made
by you

You helped
convince me
you said it
was the truth

They said I
manipulated
ways to change
versions
Possible fate
with you

Now your eyes
my tears
You made me
need you
Said you didn't
know how
you could cry
for you

I saw the anger
taking you
anger that made
me hate you
For not loving
myself
I didn't know how
I couldn't
I won't
I refuse
to love
without you

It showed me ways
through you
to become you

My red painted
lips
Your lips
I gave to you
Made a language
for us
Interpreted rough
kisses
In ways it made
definition afraid
to define us

Silently I
translate
ways of what
it was

The feeling of
how it felt
to belong
to be your
someone
Is it selfish
to say
to wish
I took away
your feeling
the knowledge
of belonging
Watch how
I begin to
dissipate




1.10.

Black streaks
down my cheeks
Tears that once
masked
Tears trying
to make up
For not running
For falling

You said
to stay away
with you
I made you
you take me
Planned our
getaway
high speed chase
Repairing our
collision
We raced
Robbing empty
banks
No time
to refuel
You let me
crash
couldn't look
back
You killed me
backing up
into you

Kiss my red lips
your favourite
Your shade of
lipstick
Do you remember
the love
The taste of
my lips
on your lips?

Every day to you
I prayed
I begged
to stay down
with you
Your favourite
shade
our grave
Don't you remember?

I do

That was
the first lie
you made a
promise too
You said I
could go
everywhere
with you
Don’t you remember?

I do

I lost that
stick
It’s just *******
lipstick
You told me it was
your favourite
It was my only
thing left
of you

No shades
to see
Colours left
of me
I lost me
that night too

My red lips
still red
not because
your heart
has bled

Because mine bleeds
red shades of you
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.2.

When I was a
little girl
I use to steal
my Mothers
cigarettes

She use to smoke
in the bathroom
tobacco was always
a little wet

King size red
while she read
  books on love
  she really
   had a lust for

In the school yard
in a circle
  alone I sat
   smoking stolen
    cigarettes
watched how
they burnt
  so eloquent
   in my hand

Kissed by sulphur
my lips
Blowing toxic smoke
choking
  burning
Your hand on
my throat
  I need
   one more
    
    kiss

In my bed
laying in Ash

Cigarettes
and my
  men

Lord help me
I’m in love with
the devil again
SamanthaX Jun 2019
1.5.

If only
you knew
how many laps
it would take
to make my
escape
Lost in my
minds maze
I was trapped
in dark days
Lost in
countless
ways

Time after
time
Do you know
how many
times
I have died
while alive?
   
It's not easy
having this
beautiful mind

To see nothing
but beauty
in deranged
miracles

They luminate
through my eyes

To outsmart
my own
Devil
I beat me
at my own
game
Now I wear
this ******
crown
Watching myself
I go down
on my
knees
Hear how I  
sing my own
praises
Loving myself
as I embrace
my wicked
ways

Backwards I lit
my morning
cigarette
Filter for my
silent mouth
Watch how it
ignites
Spewing toxic
blue flames
straight out of
Hell

Still I’ll inhale

Ill be the first
to admit
I've done some
pretty
****** up ****

All that time
wasted
Incarcerated
Intoxicated
Drugged out
Seduced
Body ******
Bruised and Broken
Over and over
Praying for the
day
it or I
would end
Still can’t recall
all the nights
turned to days
turned to weeks
no sleep on repeat
Stealing and Dealing
Forget to keep
dreaming

Yet here I am
Still standing
Still inhailing
my *******
cigarette

My only regret
Was falling in
love
with the right
man
After he was
gone

Only thing left
Date
Year
Numbers finalizing
Timing his final
breath

Now The Ashes
are everywhere
The only truth
in love

My cigarettes death

1.6.

Radio playing
Times
Timeless hit-list

If I could turn
back
my all-time
regret

Was in a moment
No sooner
or later
no matter
where
everything and
everyone
I asked
impossible questions

Why me?
What happened?
Or didn't
After we had
met

In a restricted
hall
We tried so
hard
To not be so
late
The clock kept
trying to tell
me
Yet I blamed it
For believing my
lies
I was blind from
not hearing
the warning
from time
In how we would
both become
prisoners
Forced to stare
back at
crumbling walls

Counting every
**** day
Watching every
**** tick
Fabrication
of possible
ways

My lists on
lists turned to
regret after
regret
The only truth
in love

My cigarettes death

How I would
wish for words
so I could
pray
I can't say
Make me forget
No I never
I won't
I don't even
smoke
Why did I
ask

“So what’s your name”

The look you
would give me
while giving
to you
In you I had
my first regret
That would lead
to you
lightning me up
that last cigarette

Now the last
thing
my only thing
left
I’m smoking all
alone
Won’t be hearing
you say my name
anymore

But I won’t ever
regret
how you had... that crave
and because of
me
You could get
a spark off
a dead lighter
Trick is
you gotta put
two dead ones
together

***
Death
Celebration
Stress

Always you'll see
me smoking

I need you
not these
stale ashes
So tell me
again
just how bad
you need
another
******* cigarette
210 · Dec 2019
Perennial Muse 4.
SamanthaX Dec 2019
4.

Living on loves
edge had
sharpened
you
Turning you into
a knife
that could
carve words
Translating them
into a language of
weapons

My voice once
sang your name
in a melody
written by God

Dull and out
of tune

As you become
a stranger on
my lips

I once was the
morning sun
light
passing through
white curtains

I once was the
kiss on bare
skin
lost between
satin sheets

I once saw in
your eyes
new horizons
rising from the
curves of my
smiles

I watched as
your
shining eyes
disappeared
as the Devils
eclipse
came to claim

Now I wait in
faith for
love to make its
way home
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