what is music to heart
an enchanting embrace that gives birth to feelings
or an incredulous cure to all the maladies of life
or a comforting smile that breaks the chains of pessimism
or walking, talking, living poetry

I hate that
In the rhythm of your ecstasy
In the rawness of your craving
I became powerless
To ignore the hunger
That your eyes fed mine

hidden beneath the contemptuous blubber
ears muffledto calls of "delilah"s they yelled
the trees the benches ,the symbols, the paperplanes ,alphs betas .....
and you
i see them all
the trees you look at when you are  irritated; through the stained windows of politics class
the bench you sit on with an obtuse misty veil over your eyes
the symbols you drew on the chem text book
halo of nihilistic delusions you wear

i wonder who see through your rock hard pretenses
wonder who will catch you be the the pearl

(hope u will make this the proem to ur story)

I always imagined
My future
My dreams
My Curses and Peace
My Falls and Wings
My tears both warm and cold
My smiles both cold and warm
My eyerolls and shrugs
My warm coffee and cold teas
I always imagined
Scenes of future and past
A river a rabbit and a tree
A carpet of grass and mewling river
An old yellow shrivelled leaf falling
Sun soaking my mind
I always imagined

Restlessness
Ruffles of green and tulips and mauve
Chatters
Whispers of giggles and clinks
A forest of emotions

Tuxedos and gowns
And petunias

Wine and whiskey
And half eaten slices

Embossing art

Maybe i was deaf and mute and even crippled with a foggy mind
But i heard your song
even called out for you
An impossibility of a mirage turning to a reality
The way you glanced made the uncertainity that quilted my mind ,melt

I danced to the silent music ,i mocked the nightingales
the agony was forgotten ,far far away
the mind that adored fretting about the unknown future,
fell silent ,closed his eyes
somehow my soul spoke
                          the tomorrows are never here
                              the yesterdays are never to be seen
                                    left with a blooming today
                                         left with the miraculous life
His language was alien but i grasped each word
Love hath power to melt the stones
stones that locked me in ,made me blind , made the world strange
love hath power that make everything divine
everything and anything

Miles Away
There is
Walking Breathing Dancing
Existing
And the Airs of mountains
Whisper around the sense of wholeness
As a soul calls out for mine
The way mine did last night

If I could be impossible
I will escape from the brightness of reality
To the lulling hypnotic
ocean of illusive dreams

i gave you a hand
you gave me a glance
i gave you a rose
you gave me a smile
i gave you my heart
you gave me  a kiss
no more can i ask
for nothing more i have

A faded picture
Of a swing set
On a lonely porch
Of two hands
Twined like vine

A waning sketch
Of imprints of feet in sand

And millions of words
Created in
Moonlight starlight and daylight

Millions of chuckles ,Smirks
Laughs and Hugs

Millions of Kisses
Blushes and Cold shivers

Memories living in skin and lips
I'll run my wrinkled hands over each of them

Decades Ago
Years Ago
Days ago
A brief mention of time ago
I lost count
I lost count of my heart breaks
Maybe i forgot to count
I see the flow and i believe it's a mirage
I see the pain , pain is time
Or maybe time is pain

The willow , she breaks and bends
Hands outstretched to the grey rainbows and melodies
She claws and grasps
Her roots drawing out the gravity
Past the masks and curtains
Past dialogues and mercenaries
She whispers into the night
Bloooms in to the moon
Looking past the outfall
She views her time
Ghosts of memories dancing around her

i want to be singing like the nightingale
i want to be eternal like the pheonix
i want to be as fierce as the lion
i want to be as strong as the stone castles
i want be anything i'm not now
even if i'm happy now
then i want to laugh at those
who shed their name for being something they are not

There is a tattoo
Of a timid blue catterpillar
Curled around a crescent Moon
Slow strokes done to perfection
Astonishing fingers prayed over it

And one day amidst the
Bronze storm and Foggy dreams
Slowly she could see
Two ice blue wings embracing
The waning Moon

You watched me fade
As you loved her
You watched me melt
As you caressed her
You watched me burn
With memories of Us
As you held her hands so tight

And as I begged for air
You cried to be saved
And drowned me

what is the colour of my blood
i see red and it reminds me i have a life to live
i see crimson reminding me of my responsibilities
i see dark bright and spreading red and it tells me of
               the history it want to imprint

The chagrin of losing incarnates itself
letting the heart drown and drench
in the pool of shattered hopes
All we left with are those paths we never took
should haves and if only s feeding on our self
and the music we embrace are the silent notes of agony
Welcoming pain as a reminder of being
blinded by the darkness of fate
The doors are open but all we see is the window thats closed
the chagrin never leaves the heart
squeezing out the reminders for a smile
the chagrin of losing kills the hope and
the dreams we adored will be turned to stone

they gave her a scarlett letter
and she didnt hide
she showed it off
(wanted to steal away their preconcieved prejudicial contentment)

Craving for the
Final chords of your guitar strings ,
For the loud whispers in the rain
Cold feet and warm hands

Heart secretly wanting the burn
The fire that's set by pain

I enjoy the beauty of
.                               the music of the silence
.                                the colours of black
.                                 the motion of the stillness
.                                  the eternity of heartbeat
For those beauty concealed and unseen are the most beautiful

rain bid goodbye
sun bowed
there will be no more lies
and i will pretend to be affected

Met you through the indigo letters
no trace of pretense no speck of doubts
you wore you and i me
the plans and aims our claims everything shed down
cocooning ourselves in the quilt of old dreams and new memories
just them letters by our side
no realty no facts .
even now i wonder
howwas it that ;our night was warmer than any day anywhere

when the wind hushes and the leaves wavers,
when the earth exhales as loud as my thoughts ,
when the jogger run past unnoticed,
when the same song is played in a loop ,
when my hand pauses above the keys
it scares me

i love the solitude ;the pregnant silence
i love the loud sands ;the boastful daisies
i love to walk on beach;not to play with waters
         just to see the sun ,the sand and the souls
i am tired of explaining it
i am tired
                    tired of the elements that made me frown
when i saw my reflection ;
when i felt the questions
so there it is
i am tired

Not Wrinkles
Not the scars of the past
Not frowns
Not the voice of yesterday
Not the darkness in my mirror
Not the charred grass I stand on
Not the faults ,the dreadful mistakes
Not the persistent ghosts of Failures

Only the lonely ripple
Calmly traversing
The cold river
Accepting the liberty
Embracing the solitude

Why is it
That when it rains
All I look for is a closed window
For the pleasure of opening
The creaky door
That everyone said should be closed
For the pleasure of getting that rusty smell on my chapped fingers getting mixed with the petrichor
For the pleasure of letting the aroma of bake out the window

The repugnant taste of sympathy made her face cringe
He never saw her perfect imperfections
He only saw the what she was robbed off
And she could not scream
And she could not sing

living with a past
screeches echoing through the serene halls
a spectre like future
dimensionless
driving through the meadow not paying respects
spewing out someones words someones thoughts
moving as someone else
it scares

There's always peace
In the heart of a storm
In the sky before a hurricane
In the gravel before the parade
In the eyes of a prey ,
In the movement of the predator
In the window sill beneath my elbows
In the heated cartridges
There's always Peace

He could deny himself the whiskey and coffee
the tango and foxtrot
the ruffles of red and purple
But never the sweet sting of Loss
No he let himself feel that
Swallowing the lead and charcoal
He sat in the yellow , burning ombres of Agony
And he cuddled with it every night
Woke upto the Face of Invisibility
And one evening
In a Parisian Bar
He said with a smile

"Water and Pain
I could never deny myself the pleasures of water and pain '

HE SMIRKED AT HIS REFLECTION
IN THE TROPHIES AND THE CHEERS
                                    SHE SAID you're not the only one
                               SHE SIGHED you're not the first person
                                                         this will pass
      SHE LOOKED IN HIS EYES let it go


HE WEPT INTO HER CARDIGAN
BLURRED VISIONS OF BLACK AND GREY
FAINT MUSK OF DAISIES AND GRASS
                                SHE SAID you're not the only one
                               SHE SIGHED you're not the first person
                                                         this will pass
       SHE LOOKED IN HIS EYES  let it go

she was salt
the mariners ally
flew before the mast of every big ship
treading carefully
caressing pennants , the flowing reds and pinks
and sometimes when the skies are blue
and the winds are shifting
carrying the scents of jasmine from a faraway land
that she could never visit ,
She would sit next to the figurehead
viewing the world before ,
the chaos , the love , the dance of disarray , the sad and happy tears
of everyone who ever lived .

She was salt
an escaped soul from the briny bed rocks that clinged to the memories of the deep
she was creation before creation
she was art before art
she was destruction before destruction,
Or so the many fables painted her as ...

And she fell asleep
a sleep so deep ,
neither light nor time reached the depths of the slumber ,
neither music nor poetry pierced the dormant armour ,
A sleep so deep , she forgot how  to breathe , to continue
to remember memories of the past
A rest so profound that creation ceased to exist
until the Night

The Girl was a nuisance
to the townspeople  , to the unsupple ideas that were music to most
She had plain air , unembellished eyes
A salty smell blew everytime she walked across the citadel
"a witch , she could be "
"chanting the unknown"
"preaches the unwanted "
"a curse "
"a wretched sorceress"
The whispers gained favours
found new strength from lands unknown .
"The Girl should Die "
And so it went

One Faithful night
when the air was warm and the moon was bright
Their voices grew strong and their hatred gained might
"The Girl was The Sacrifice
A means to end this Game of mice
Her blood shall Cleanse
Her flesh shall feed
A fated offering to the gods We plead "
the words of the leader rang loud and clear
And the confused soul heeded the Seer
Dressed in White with  Her hair bleeding to the night
The Girl stood , Dried salty tattoos coating her face
Wide eyed and trembling , She stood before the Seas
with the Seer , the sharp knives and the gravel behind her
She walked , hands tied , bloodied
To the seas , Wailing a silent song

THE CRY went pass the waters through time and light
through past and future
through the cries of up and below
Reaching the Deep

my roots they go deep ,past the red river through the brown sand traipsing along another crazy root
my roots they run so deep
past the point of revival past the point of control past the face of mine
my roots going so deep
it scares me

I think I get
Why the crazy man said
The death of ME is not
The death of me
Its the Death of me
I just dont get
Why he laughed so loud
''Your ignorance and my reluctance''
He'd called the poem

Chrysanthemums
On yellow topaz tomb stones
Half eaten garlands with grey scents
Sprawled on the viridescent foliage

Silent piteous accolades
And boisterous tears

An ode to a faithful life lived

I can shake the branch bathed in raindrops
See the sun from the north as we used to
You can climb on the rock with the ancient moss
Hiding beneath the maple leaves
Your eyes bloom at the sleepy (coral)sun
Tears make their way from the leaves to my sleeves
i see you

Imbued with lies
Slain by songs
Stabbed by honesty
Conned by love
And still i am see
I can hear
I can sing
I can dance to the tunes of pain
I can watch the embers
Embers of memories
Of the last love i lived

Every day
You carve a bit more
You clasp a bit more
You grow more
You twine around
My lilies and dandelions

Was i too optimistic
Trusting my Falls and Wounds
Seeing  Mornings everywhere
I can see it all
On a golden screen
With hues of red and green

I was too optimistic
Swallowing every bit of agony
Seeing a rainbow through rainy eyes
I was too optimistic

Now I see
It's never what I see
It's never what I felt
It's always what it is
It's always being
It's just being

You burn brighter
You fall higher

Once upon a time
I drew a circle
My eyes glided over it
Slowly  meandering
Ash on ash grey on grey
The circle became a world
There were spoken words
There was whispered poetry
There was broken art
There was passsion

A circle as transparent as
Sparkling illusions

Once upon a time
When I drew a circle
I saw an entire world awakening
To the sounds and lights

It can be ended in a day
It can be crushed in a minute
It can be submerged
If it didn't have a history
If it didn't have a story
If it didnot bewitch me
in charms of promises and poetry
If I was unable to see
The dimensionless pit of
Words and whispers and lullabies
If I could
It could've been ended in a day

i would draw you
                               with a chapped charcoal ;the cheapest kind
i would paint you
                                with purple hair
                                          violet eyes
                                          green lips
                                          lavender teeth
                                          burgundy skin
                  hands outstretched in a beguiling teal
                  brows lifted in an audacious amber
                  with so much indigo behind you
(and i would smudge it all
until i see an explosion
of shades and hues and tones and lullabies)

I see you transform
Slowly
Agonisingly slowly
To my warmest colours

Like the final chords of  guitar strings
Melting to the heart

A perpetual rain
Whispering your laughs

And toasting your name to the moon
I can listen to your sigh
Over and over , till i drown
In the deepest pools of time

Amidst the sound of
The sound of metal chains dancing
Of vehicles prancing
Of time gracefully passing
Of the leaves falling
Of hearts Swaying
The light permeating
I heard , she said , your wings fluttering

I hear you , she whispered, amidst the chaos of the world
You have been here longer than me

It took a second
Thrashing of all my fears
Tired eyes wailed for the light