you can't make me fall apart
or rescue me from my fault
only sometimes a functioning adult

you can't take away my light
hard as you think you might
this is not your fight

you can't break this heart of steel
if that's what you're hear to do
you'll never make me fall apart

underneath it all I'm clean
all of these things pristine
this hard working empty machine

maybe this time it's your turn
resolution from this scream
then back to the beginning

you're reaching for the sky
pack everything you need
we're going somewhere big

inhale exhale
my God i'm scared to fail
i got to get some things off my mind
sombody spoke of healing with smoke
it'll hurt
but it's worth it for a short time

breathe in the war thinking the fight will fade away
when slowly your lungs start to deteriorate

walking though the clouds for a moment of relief
coming back to earth with an addiction and blacker teeth
breathe in the demons, breath out the light
repeat the cycle when you don't wanna fight

the cigarette smoke, the cigarette smoke
and where will you go when the demons come home
the cigarette smoke, you're holdng it close
and you can't let go

i never wanted this
thought that i owned it
but turns out that it owns me
i'm getting weaker, a heartache
a fever
this is burning down my family tree

breathe in the war thinking you're fighting for the wrong side
turns out you're in the middle of the fight

walking through the clouds for a moment of relfief
coming back to earth with an addiction and blacker teeth
breathe in the demons, breathe out the lies
like when they told you that you had to fight

the cigarette smoke, the cigarette smoke
an where will you go when the demons come home
the cigarette smoke, you're holding it close
and you can't let go

the demons creeping up on me
been so long since i could really breathe
sombody help me before i die

walking through the clouds for a moment of relief
coming back to earth with an addiction and blacker teeth
*breathe in the demons, breathe out the life
repeat the cycle because it's too hard to fight
the cigarette smoke, the cigarette smoke
and where will you go when the demons come home
the cigarette smoke, you're holding it close
and you can't let go

Let's pretend you're a princess
And I, the knight in shining armor
I'd go through anything and everything
To save you from your sorrows

And though I try my hardest
Your heart still longs for another
Even when I'm standing here before you
You still want your prince charming

Dad
as anger radiates off you
like the heat of the ground
I freeze
your face is full of hatred
and pain
you come home from work
just to scream at me again
"CHLOE!" you scream
I just nod my head
wont speak
I'm to scared I will scream instead
"DID YOU LEAVE THIS MESS?"
I look around and realize it wastn me
I could be free
but i just nod again
I wont let my sister die inside like i already did
you move so slow to me
but your so fast and strong
you grip my under my arms
throw me up to the wall
scream at me for so long
dont cry stay strong
when your done you let me fall
the carpet catches me
bruises on my arm
I stand up before he can see the harm
but hes already gone
going downstairs to work
ignoring my mom
I wish i could save him
but hes to far gone

There is a monster inside of me
and he doesnt want to eat
forces me to turn away every meal
want to throw up at every piece of food i see
He only feast on pain
from my freinds and enemies
Hes also hurting me
but I;m just a puppet for his insanity
theres a monster inside me
and he wont go away
whispers in my ears
tells me no  one wants to stay
tell me im worthless
fat,and ugly
so I wont eay until he thinks im skinny
there is a monster inside and hes always mad
makes me wanna scream
cutting portals in my skin
so he can get out of me
but he shys from daylight
stays with me
at least he will never leave
keeps me company
I have a monster inside of me
and i wont let him leave
we are freinds now
no matter how that seems
He doesnt care what people think
and niether do it
me and my monster
will be destroying things
for eternity

I dont have crushes
Ever since a man thought it was alright to grab my legs
I haven't been able to look at any guys the same
Ever since a man twisted my reality
and told me it was fine if he touched me
I can't picture any guy holding me
So I'm sorry when you talk about how you like him
I can't really relate
I haven't had a crush
Since I was *****

I catch myself sometimes
Smiling
Laughing at a joke from my father
Or a silly dance by my sister
And in that quick second I forget what I did
I forget how I hurt them
I stop feeling guilty
Because I forgot what a monster I am
Life is funny that way
You have seconds of joy when you forget your past
Than it all comes back
In a blast on your mind
Everything was just fine
To bad it's never the real Happy