That's it honestly
I'm not putting myself through it anymore

I don’t have any prayers left

I’m losing my humanity

and vise versa right

You want me to fall in love with you

No no no no
Don't take me too
I refuse to go

Well. Ive always said i prefer fall.
But I've changed my mind
I hadn't opened my eyes till now
Spring is truly a miracle.
Everything is brown dead and grey,
then suddenly everything Lives
It all comes back, resurrects.
Its like a little extra Jesus!
I also adore the shades of green
Vibrant, new, alive! Pulsing with life
And i can hear the sweet call of
the small finches and sparrows
looking for friends, or mates
And if you strain your ear,
you can hear a low steady hum
of bees in the clover patch
The sun shines in a new way,
Bright, and Warm. Warm like
yellows and oranges, that
replace the grays and blues.
The ground is moist with recent showers,
which cool down the heating earth
Don't get me wrong, I have a strange,
attraction to winter. I love the cold.
But I'm now starting to see the spring.

In some cases I am hardest on the ones I love most

I just feel really ******* stupid

Part of me still wants to cut it all off
All of it.

Of all the things in the world

I'm scared
I'm so so scared

I would like to sincerely apologize to everyone for being a disappointment

'Oh don't worry about him, he met a girl'
Eye twitches. Smile fades. Heart falls.
He Met a girl.
Oh I'm so happy for him I press send
I'm so happy he found someone.
Finally met THAT girl. Whoever she is.
It sure as hell wasn't me
I'm not a ******* option.
You never thought of me,
Who has liked you for months now
You thought of her. Whoever she is.
Well I'm glad you can lie in texts.
Wait, I'm glad you can lie in life.
'Aww you two are great together'
I wish she  was me.
I wish that special person was me.
But it wasn't.
okay, well nite presses send.

I watch the days go by
Count them as they fly

She blames herself for something
That she couldn't have changed

It's pointless

I want to love someone
I want to Be in love with someone
I want someone to love me back
I want the nauseous butterflies
I want the heart flutters,
I want someone to care
I want someone to love Me
I don't want to wait, but
I know I'm not ready for love
And love isn't ready for me
And I'll know when the time comes
But I'm just getting a little impatient
Of waiting for someone to get me.

Leave me alone! Alone alone alone alone. Alonley. Lonely lonely.

*lonely

No one loves me now
And that's *okay

It's so ******* hard to look these people in the eyes
And I try, but no matter how much I write about it
It's never gotten easier, especially with those people

Finally I am clearly seeing everyone
And I know they see me too
For once I feel like I am being *seen

Okay stop stop stop
I am falling in love with you
Stop I know where this goes
And it hasn't worked out
Before
But
Don't
Stop

Let's run away together

I never really understood the feeling of flames and fire
Until now

Who ever thought
I’d be wishing for a flashback

How sad it is to remember the sick feeling you got
When you felt their hand in places it shouldn't have gone
And you didn't have the heart to say no louder

Literally I'm so ******* done
With friends
Family
I'm so ******* done
Can't find one ******* person
Who seems to give a ******* ****

I'm trying to be

She thinks I'm poisoned
She thinks I'm evil

I can't live here anymore
I can't take it anymore

I'm going to end up killing myself

I need to let myself relax
Just like I need to let myself trust

I can't quite fit in the words I want to say

I don't understand
I work so ******* hard
I don't understand

I can honestly say I am disgusted

If I'm being annoying please tell me okay?

Maybe things are different
Maybe views have shifted
Maybe things are fixed

It's funny because I know,
I know why
And I keep trying

I didnt want to

As time goes on
There are something that won't change

I can't help it
*I can't help it

You got yourself in a dangerous zone
Cause we both have the fear, fear of being alone
And now I don't understand it
You don't mess with love you mess with the truth
And my heart don't understand it, understand it, understand it

not even these poems explain it

I don’t belong here

How can I live with you?
How can I let you touch me.

I'm in over my head

It's worth it to me

Dôńt thē dėçøråtïõńš måkē įt härdęr tø rêãd

I don’t want to be alive anymore