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Rj Mar 2015
My future is looking me dead in the eye
Daring me to have it alter to my wishes
Rj Mar 2015
Let it not be said I was silent when they needed me
Rj Oct 2015
I think, after a night of pondering, that I would have to disagree
I don't think I am simple enough to only have three categories
In fact, every person gives me different feelings, just as they should
And if what was said was true, then what category would be you?
For every person has made me sad, or angry, and every person has made me happy too
And I've never, ever, found a person to be evil, or purely bad in my eyes
And I'd say that I am fairly forgiving, given the circumstances
And just because one person in my life has made me permanently weary
Does not mean that is some category my mind drops people in
I can't think of one person I hate, at all, in fact, I love every person
And I don't think I am that simple of a person, to only have three categories either
And I wonder what category (if we are going by the proposed system)
You would fall into, since, you've made me cry and very sad,
But somehow make me happy and calm as well?
I would say that people, in my mind, are too complex to be categorized
I could not put two people in the same category, they just don't match
And I certainly think that I am more trusting and forgiving than people think
Perhaps my circumstances have made me even more so
And I do not think that people can be broken down and analyzed
To where their mind, in someone else's eyes, is plain to see,
Therefore I don't think that my mind, which I know all too well
Can be broken down by someone into a mere few sentences
For I couldn't write an encyclopedia that would describe you well enough,
Just as I could not do the same for any other person
And I know, trust me, your aim was not to dehumanize or break me down
And I know I took this to heart, but trust me you would too,
I just am not simple enough to have three categories to describe how I feel about people.
This is no attack, nor is it a subtweet. It's a direct statement of my opinion on your opinion of my minds way of dealing with people. I think i could never categorize people. At all. I can't think of two people in the same category. And I could never have a category of "bad people who once they do wrong are never forgiven", because I could not tell you one person I would put in that category. And that leaves two more, the people who make me "happy and could do no wrong", and the "bad people I try to fix but never could". I don't think anyone is evil or bad, and I certainly have never thought of someone who could do no wrong in my eyes. People to me cannot be categorized because they are a concoction, and I tried real hard last night to categorize people and I could not do it. I just do not think I am a simple thinker like that, and I disagree with the assessment. Obviously I'm not angry, and obviously everyone anayalzes people in their mind. I just disagree.
Rj Nov 2015
It's about time for me to be reminded
It's about time for me to be refreshed
I'm going to see my family tomorrow and I'm very excited. They are always so good at reminding me who I am.
Rj Feb 2015
Sometimes I think I'm just an    
annoyance to other people
Sometimes I think I should just
Stop talking and stay away
Rj May 2014
Love love love love.

Be happy, happy happy.

I'll smile if you smile. Smile.

God God God God.

Peace. Shhhh. Quiet. Peace.



Life's different for me every day, SOO much emotion. Previous Poem some days. This poem others. I wish it could be this day all the time:)
Rj Jan 2015
I have never met someone as selfish, rude, and ridiculous
And now, I have to have anxiety attacks because
I have to struggle through a whole week alone with you
Rj Apr 2015
please please help me
please show me love is real
anyone. Or is nobody there
I'm a fool for thinking
that someone would dare
Rj Jan 2016
The older I get
The less you seem to like me
And I'm sorry I didn't turn out
Right to you
I'm sorry I was the rotten kid
Out of the patch of healthy ones to you
I'm sorry I don't like dressing up
I'm sorry I have opinions
I'm sorry I have a loud voice
I'm sorry my laugh bothers you
I'm sorry I'm not funny to you
I'm sorry nothing I do impresses you
I'm sorry I wasn't a better kid
I'm sorry I'm not better now
I'm sorry I'm not who you wanted me to be
I'm sorry
Rj May 2015
I'm changing,
This place has changed me
Rj Apr 2016
I so badly seek approval from friends teachers and coaches because I don't feel the approval from my family
So naturally when I don't do well in a class, or I don't do well at a game or meet I feel super down on myself
Rj Aug 2014
I wish I had wings
To take me away
Lessen my burden
Please beg me to stay
Lick my wounds
Soften my heart
Ease my mind
Give me a part
Of something special
That's only mine
Because God knows
I don't own my mind
Give me strength
To just accept
All the secrets
*I have kept
Rj Dec 2015
He told us
go to hell
all of you
Will be hard
This time
Rj Oct 2017
I can't help but stare at her arms
And she knows I do
What's your story?
And I think I'll take her up
On the offer
Rj Apr 2018
Can you use a paintbrush to send thoughts dripping
Can you look at a canvas to see what is missing
Do you pluck strings like it's your hand's only need
Do the keys that you tap convey emotions that bleed
Have you made a connection between the role and yourself
Do you put your mind's miracles up on a shelf

Is the canvas, the stage, the music inside
Something that you could no longer hide

If you urge to make something out of feelings within
Grab a brush, instrument, audition, and simply begin
Rj Sep 2014
I realized, even though I had always had a feeling
I am completely asexual, with physical ****** things
And surprisingly, relationships and love
I'm sorry im not who  you wanted me to be
But I can't do it, because everytime we do something
I have this heart flutter, but I can't ignore
The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach
I'm not cut out to be in a relationship,
I'm too messed up to tell the difference
Between love and a frienship
I'm sorry that this isn't even a poem anymore
I'm sorry I can't go on dreaming about relationships and love
When I'll honestly never be in any of them
I'll always be there for you, and every thing I've told you is true
But I can't do it,
I'm too asexual
I'm sorry. I couldn't stop thinking about this. I feel horrible
Rj Sep 2014
First thing, you are beautiful, You may not realize it,
Because I know I don't feel that way about myself
But so many people agree on how pretty you are
Second, I know you don't feel a reason for living
Well I can promise I don't have all the answers,no one does
But I know that God made a choice when He decided.
He decided you were amazing enough to bring into the world
Whether  you believe it or not, He loves you, and has a plan
Remember, at the end of a storm there is always a rainbow
Third, you are not trash. No one on this earth is
You are a human being made God's Image
And anything created in God's Image is never trash
Fourth, you are one of the most talented people I know
No one else can play any instrument like you can,
Fifth, you may not know the purpose of your life now,
But later maybe you'll figure it out, you can do anything
Because that's the thing with life, you always have a choice
And overall, everyone loves you. I'm serious.
And you may not realize it,
*When you smile, you can see everyone else smile too
I hope this helps, I'm worried about you
Rj Oct 2014
You hate yourself for reasons I can't understand
Fathoming, pondering your small shaking hands
What you don't see in yourself, others do
Talented, beautiful, compassionate you
If you would use Paul McCartney to greatly inspire
You could be like him, if that's your desire
You have a future, a purpose that you can not see
But if you listen to anyone, listen to me
Stay strong, stand firm, don't let them be
The demons in your life, you can be free
Stay the way you are, which is your true beauty
Just let the peace in your life, **Ashley
Rj Nov 2015
I can't tell you how tired I am of people trying to control my relationships with other people
Trying to tell me who not to date who to date, getting mad at me for choosing one way or another
I am not your daughter
I am not dating you
So why can't you just be happy that I am freaking happy?
Geez people. Trust me I know the difference when one of my friends is looking out for me, and I know the difference of just being upset that I found someone I might date meaning I won't be paying as much attention to you. I appreciate all of my friends and I heavily consider all the advice they give. Trust me it's probably not about you. This is directed at a select few people who simply are jealous that I am finally interested in someone that might be interested in me
Rj Apr 2015
What if it's true
Rj Apr 2018
I don’t feel like writing
But here I am typing
Pretending that all is grand

I keep on assuming
The flowers are blooming
As I stare at barren land

The words they come sweetly
As I pack my things neatly
And settle into my bed

They’re fast asleep dreaming
While I’m stuck here screaming
And my thoughts are just as dead
Rj Mar 2015
I do have to thank you
For confessing that to me
My spirits have been lifted
I Had no idea someone
Like you would think that
And I don't hear it often
A least not that genuinely
Rj Feb 2015
I don't consider myself a poet
I don't consider myself an artist
I don't consider myself smart
But I consider myself an athlete
Though I'm not pristine at that
It may be all I have
Rj Oct 2015
I feel like I'm at home in your presence
not super original but oh well. Also literally this isn't about anyone/my relationship with anyone
Rj May 2014
hold up a second,
My mind is stuck on one thought,
And it has been the last week
But i don't feel like writing about it,
*I would write for days.
Rj Feb 2015
Maybe if someone pretended
To love me, I would be better off
Rj Oct 2018
she watches you fall apart on the edge of the water
she listens to your screams through the phone
she changes the music in the car to laughter
and she drives and brings you back home
Rj Oct 2015
Someone please explain to me
How you can be so happy
And yet so sad at the same time
Explain how you can smile
And tear up at the same time
Explain how you can laugh
And scream at the same time
Explain how you can forget,
But remember all the time
Explain how you can hate someone
But love them so much
*at the same time
This actually isn't about anyone in particular
Rj Apr 2016
I feel separated from everything that is happening
Like the audience attending a musical, watching
Not involved, yet knowing everything that's happening
It's the strangest feeling of being unconnected,
And I have to say, I'd rather be a performer than the audience
Rj Nov 2017
She withered away to almost nothingness
Hoping the wind would whisk her up
In a cold, empty embrace
Rj Sep 2015
Light and breezy
Smiles come easy
Smoke and colors
Swirl around me
I like the hint of autumn in the air this morning. Hopefully more to come :)

It's funny if you read this like No Control//1D  "lost my senses, I'm defenseless"
Rj Nov 2016
How can you tell if someone has changed
Without awaiting the next time they hurt you
How can you tell if someone is truly changing for you, of if there's just a lull in the madness. Is it possible to truly believe someone will change if you're still always expecting the next attack?
Rj Feb 2015
Sometimes she wakes up and realizes the reality of her situation
Yet she falls back asleep, because it was more hopeful when she dreamt
Rj Dec 2015
A blabber mouth
Crazy stupid loud girl
A bossy commanding dominant girl
A long-haired skinny silly girl
Scraggly, *****, pretty girl
Wild like an animal
Big eyes, short, weird smile
A girl who truly truly
Didn't care what others thought
A dancing on the tables girl
A muddy, smelly, adventurous girl
Silly young innocent girl
Where are you now?
Me as a child. I can't tell you how much I wish I'd kept these qualities. I know some of them are still there, just hidden. Idk, I got really nostalgic watching old videos of myself and my sister.
Rj Mar 2015
Close your eyes
Take a breath don't change
Put your shaking hand
In mine, and focus
Pupils focused on mine
As if you could see into my mind
And if you could,
Well then you would know
The ache my heart has to
Fix yours
The wind is blowing hard in these sails
Rj Jan 2016
It's a feeling that spread across my whole body down from my gut to my fingers
Leaving me feeling horribly violated
And badly shaken
And I can't control it
Rj Jun 2015
There are times when I think I am beautiful
But those times have never been in a bathing suit
Rj Oct 2015
I slipped under the hot blanket of water
Feeling enveloped, surrounded, consumed
It felt dark and warm and I felt closed, safe
But when I opened my eyes, I saw
That I was under a false impression of security,
And was just as naked and exposed as before.
Don't take this as my needing to be shut off from society or people. It just feels nice to slip under a warm blanket sometimes. It feels safe.
Rj Jun 2014
I can only think of one person
That walks this earth
That fits my description
Rj Nov 2014
At this point, I would never take my clothes off for anyone
But, I honestly wish I felt differently about my body
I guess it ***** when your surrounded by beautifully appealing people right?
Rj May 2015
Please it's a lie
You do need curves
To be beautiful
You do need curves
For someone to want you
And don't ******* lie
Because everyone
Is materialistic,
Everyone wants a ****
Girl to play with
Sadly no one  falls
In love with
Beautiful souls
Rj Jun 2015
I am me
And that
Is beautiful
Rj Sep 2015
Even the people most cruel and broken
Are still simply beautiful
I think anything living is beautiful. Maybe not in what it does, but because it is alive.
Rj Dec 2015
My bedsheets are soaked in memories and emotions
A stain of blood there, some drips of tears there,
A warm imprint of people who once held each other there
I put them in the wash, but they don't seem to come out
Rj Apr 2016
She, in three weeks, has had 3 different guys
(Yeah I'm happy for her)
But each time she tells me about the new guy the deep hollow pit inside my stomach gets a little deeper, a little more empty
It seems like everyone has someone pining for them
Well that is except for me
I don't mean to ***** and complain and wallow in self pity
But this has been inside of me and I guess I need an outlet
It's like a punch in the face when I'm with friends and then we take a picture and everyone seems to look 17
Except for me
It hurts when people ask if I'm what 13 or maybe 14?
I mean I didn't realize how premature I am until now
And I can't tell you how much I hate it
I hate having to wear make up to look a year older, and even then I only look like a freshman
I despise bathing suits
I detest clothing that tightly fits because it is supposed to accentuate natural feminine curves
But I have none so what's the ******* point besides making it even more obvious I don't have them
It hurts not being able to shop for bras
And ******* like ******* it hurts when your best friend tells you "aw it's okay one day"
Because it sounds like my mom saying I can't ride in the front seat of the car
It's belittling
And I already feel little enough
It hurts looking at bras and **** online because none fit you
The worst part of all is probably all the "one day you'll grow sweetie"
That only makes it even more of a reality
So I guess the best idea is to **** in that part of myself I hate and not share that often or else I get those comments that hurt more
so I'll keep holding **** in because that's what I'm good at
And we can all pretend I didn't go ***** off like this
I even sound like a baby. Ha. I hate it. I just, hate it.
Rj Nov 2014
Buttermilk pancakes, fresh off the pan
Returning from the barn, eggs in hand
Nostrils burning, the airs so pure
Pine trees, trails, they're the perfect cure
Woods resembling the appalachian country
Leaves all orange, no, golden like honey
Ancient wooden or old brick homes
Miles of national forest to roam
Trails worn thin by generations of family
I swear, the sun shines brighter, seemingly
Preacher is always dropping by to eat
Lance is out hunting fresh deer meat
And we... we are here to enjoy it all
And occasionally have a trampoline brawl
The point is, this place never feels wrong
Dry Prong, where I feel I truly belong
Rj Jan 2015
When you're the best of friends,
Having so much fun together,
You're not even aware you're such a funny pair,
You're the best of friends.
Life's a happy game,
You can clown around forever.
Neither one of you see's you're natural boundaries,
Life's one happy game.
If only the world wouldn't get in the way,
If only people would just let you play,
They say you're both being fools,
You're breaking all the rules.
They can't understand,
The magic of your wonderland.
When you're the best of friends,
Sharing all that you discover,
When these moments have past,
We'll let friendship last,
Who can say, there's a way!
Oh I hope...
I hope it never ends.
Cause you're the best of friends...
Song from Fox and the Hound that is relatable and touching
Rj Sep 2014
High school, the best years of your life
I would love to know why
All I do is stress stress stress
Worry about the zeros in my class's
Procrastinating the project till the night before
Ruining my body in track and basketball
Talking sparingly to my friends at lunch
No more free time,
No more playing with outside,
No more anything
Time of my life?
Rj Feb 2015
Be the ...
Music to my morning
The beat to my heart
The Simba to my Nala
The water to my sea
The light to my sun
For without you
I am empty, lifeless
Rj May 2015
I suppose I am a good person,
But just because you're good
Doesn't mean you shouldn't
Try to be even better
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