it
takes
a lot of
desperation
dissatisfaction
and
disillusion
to
write
a
few
good
poems.
it's not
for
everybody
either to
write
it
or even to
read
it.

I sit alone at a table for two
Trying not to eat my food too fast
I catch myself staring at another table
I think they noticed
I look away but tune back in
Pretending as if I was there
I watch a boy kiss his girlfriend
She seems annoyed
I get mad at her for being annoyed
I catch a guy looking at me
As if weirded out
I pull out my phone and pretend to text
Everyone in this dining hall
Talking, laughing, kissing,
I begin to pop grapes into my mouth
A grape missed my mouth
It falls out and drops onto the floor
I turn red and mutter to myself
I finish the grapes and stare at the screen
I’d give anything to stop being seen
I leave the cafeteria and walk outside
At least out here it’s easier to hide

sitting in a public restroom
on a toilet, with your headphones
Listening as people come and go
Without the strength to get up

Your heart won’t heal right
If you keep tearing out the sutures

What am I doing