death leaves
an awful aftertaste
that only surfaces
long after you've taken a sip

it will numb your senses
it will strip beauty off of things
it will blur the most beautiful photographs
it makes waterfalls out of your eyes

and in between
the night
and the daylight
it will wake you up
it will make you wonder
why it hurts so much

why you were given a taste
why you're still alive.

Silence
Is
Cement
Between
Words






,,,

Here I am, so many times I fail you Lord.
Here I am, still standing through it all.
Here I am, even though I should be dead.
Here I am, still standing through it all.
Here I am, even though not because of me.
Here I am, because Christ has strengthen me.
Here I am, falling upon my knees in gratitude.
Here I am, a very broken man whom you use.
Here I am, even though I have fail you so much.

It's hard to be real cheerful with my future looking grim
And it's hard to smile brightly with a light that's going dim
Used to know what I was doing, it was everything I had
Now I can barely get excited, even as a senior grad
I just see another episode, but next time even worse
I don't know what is wrong with me, future looking cursed
Each day it's gotten harder to stay focused on my grades
With what seems a haunting ending that is already pre-made
I tend to be impulsive and aggressively react
There's no way I like my future, but there is no turning back

I just keep getting sicker
Congested with these thoughts
Wheezing, hacking away
But it's viral and it's spreading
Taking over cells one by one
They say it's only a cold
They say it's all in my head
*And they are right

Suicide jokes aren't funny anymore.