Two days later and I'm born again
I guess that's all you need
a little vacation from reality

****** in like I promised myself I wouldn't
but i feel the words slipping off my tongue
as each day passes
I know I've said it time and time again
but god I've never felt as good as I'm with him

I have become the cliche I hate
But when I'm alone
I know I love it

I am long endless nights spent locked inside with ***** bottles and strangers with running noses

I am hot summer days wearing jeans instead of shorts because the first rule is to not let anyone know and the second is to make double sure

I am the doctors test subject in an empty field far away from where he told me he'd take me

I am my fathers daughter, but I'm afraid if he came back he wouldn't recognize me any longer.

What is a home:
filled with friendly faces and lighthearted conversations
a place to rest your head at the end of a long day
where you warm your toes, shed your woes
oh how I wish I had one of those

All I want to do is sit and write anything like before
cheesy romance ******* about how your touch makes me feel
or the way your eyes change from hazel to green
depending on how the sunlight hits it
but
nothings coming out
nothings making sense
everything you've done to me is too good for my words
too good for their ears
even though every ******* moment is engraved into my eyes
and replayed every second I catch my breath
or loose the butterflies.

Two hours I've sat perched on my bench,
my family waiting to drown out the inevitable
click clack of my typewriter
because with a smile like mine they know the writing never stops
but this time it never comes
you just have to experience it for yourself.

come sit in the booth with us at the bar
watch us nod and bob and weave to each others voices
or one anothers favourite songs played on cheap guitars
by singers that are sub par.
Experience whatever we should call this,
an amazing friendship with the added bonus of benefits
the beginning stages of what I hope isn't love but dare I deny it
the one person who might end up destroying me
but for now he's just the reason for my torturous
writers block.

I thought I did finally find it, the place I close my eyes and see
the valley;
filled with the greenest grass that's just the right height
so you can run without scraping your knees
Every day I spent in awe, wandering
exploring those hidden wonders
the creek for example, three miles south
or the collection of fairy rings a little farther down.
It was everything. It was mine.

One day I decided to head to the creek,
stick my feet in and see how deep.
At once I was ****** in,
the water was fast, ice cold,
the bottom was no where to be found
I spiraled out of control until
at last I was spit out.
I thought it would be okay then,
but that was the beginning of the end.

The valley was never the same in my eyes,
the sky was less blue, the grass hurt my knees
I walked aimlessly about, finding nothing new
the valley I thought stretched on forever
just ran in loops.
With nothing left to do, I'd head to the creek
dip my toes in just to see if it would happen again;
Without fail I'd be ****** in,
before I'd drown it'd spit me back out.

Eventually I stopped going back to the valley
I stayed by the creek,
dipping my toes,
getting ****** in
cold, wet, dizzy and close to death
before I'd be spit back out
and repeat;
I loved the valley at one point in time,
but I can't escape the creek.

Twitch

Fiddling thumbs
I didn't read that
I didn't hear that

Twitch

it'll be okay right
crank the tunes and stare at a blank sky
no cloud in sight

Twitch

I'll be okay right?
they like me right?
I'm not alone right?

Twitch

it won't be the same
it can't be the same
no no no no no

Twitch

Was it really that bad in the end
Two days down and he's already found the one
you always knew he would
god you always knew he would
you bring them all down
you let yourself drown
pick yourself back up
before you try again.