There is the woman
with reddened lips
her eyes are
little-black-dress-worthy
but the sequins on her jacket say
hello,
a beautiful, inebriated,
cherry-wine scented hello.

That folky
stone faced kid
makes potato-lentil soup
and he could
blow your mind
not because of the soup though,
that part tastes like dirt.

That girl wearing
a collared shirt
and thick dark glasses,
she is the human manifestation
of the other side of your pillow,
and she has no idea.

The ginger kid
understands more about
people than you
ever will,
which is how he was able
to make you shoot wine
out of your nose
that one time.

And the guy with the
scruffy beard
and the microphone
-well, he breaths funny
but the stagnation
in his voice makes
his poetry sound like
really
gentle ***,
every syllable
nibbling
at your inner thighs.  

And while you'r being whispered
into this false sense of security
theres a grumble
seeping
through the floor boards
from the guy in the shadow
with warm honey
in his voice,
and he doesn't pretend
to be free,
like the rest of us.

snowman-flesh flutters across the threshold
melting into the Jack-o-Lantern-Welcome-Mat
disappearing faster than its supposed to;
the door closes by an auto-piloted-hand
while the other tugs at tangled earbud chords
the little white knobs are dislodged, interrupting
that song she has listened to 14 times today
because when she falls in love with a song,
she falls into each note and memorizes
                                         every single breath.

When did "whats up?" become such a difficult question?

There will always be someone's pain that you don't understand.

you're the kind of man
who can take in pulp fiction
the first time around

I wish to be set ablaze and reborn from my own ashes
not only to start over, but so that the old me
can be as forgotten as the soot, lining chimney walls.
They say burning to death is the most painful way to die
yet still I fantasize about it, being encased in a pyre like cocoon.
yearning, like a caterpillar
for the solitary weeks in its own personal prison
knowing that weeks of whitewashed walls
will lead to open doors over flowing with brilliant color
But unlike a caterpillar, my current life is not black and white
I can not prepare to start over by hiding
So I look for all of the ways to ignite
I start with my outsides
the polish on my toe nails,
the perfume that leaves my skin smelling slightly
more like antiseptic than vanilla,
my hair spray coated curls -
its all flammable
But it does not work,
the new me will not be kindled by the light
reflecting on retinas of strangers or friends
So I move inward
looking for change in the bottom of a shot glass
swallowing hard, I down enough whiskey to
make a grown man cringe
my blood and even breath become combustable
but still nothing, so I try to force the flame in
Inhaling smoke, exhaling my good decisions
the capillaries in my lungs scream
but I breath deeper, pull harder, bringing the ember
on the end of the joint closer to my lips
They are still moistened by the liquor
surely there is enough alcohol to catch fire
Still my efforts leave me frozen,
So I try to submerge myself into heat
I become a heat seeking missile
desperate for a warm body to cling to
I retreat to sweat soaked basements of frat houses
pressing myself into generic nameless men
hoping that, if I can't absorb their warmth,
I can at least use them to fill up the holes in my plan  
But the friction of skin on skin, hands on thighs,
warm breath on my neck,
it still isn't enough.
The kind of heat I need can't be found
in a bottle or on the lips of a stranger
or beneath the dusty floorboards of this city.
I don't know where I will find it,
and I don't know how long it will take,
but I do know one thing,
I will be incendiary.
All it takes is a spark.

I never intended to write this poem
It sort of wrote itself
forced its way around the walls of my mind
making itself comfortable
never taking off it's shoes
leaving muddy footprints on every memory.

Salt, pure and unrefined, has been a cure for wounds for centuries.
So I will let the tears pour out like rain
I will let them wash over me
wash away every footprint
The waves of tears will wash away the evidence,
like an ocean repaving sand.
I will be new again
And in time, someone will fill your place.
The spaces between my fingers will be filled by someone
someone a lot like you,
because thats what a girl like me is supposed to do, right?
Look for my father in other men
Crave that love from someone else
And when my judgement of a real man is based on who you were,
and they break my heart too
we can just chalk it up to a text-book case of
that girl with "Daddy Issues" right?