I can't tell you how much I'm hurting
To acknowledge my pain is weakness
To share my weakness is pathetic
But I hurt, oh, I hurt

I can't tell you how much I want you to love me
Because to say it would be to jinx it
And to jinx it would be to lose you
But, by god, I wish you loved me

I can't explain how much I depend on you
Because to explain would be to trust you
And to trust you would be to make me vulnerable
But I depend on you. I really do.

I can't tell you all the little things I want you to say
Because to tell you would be to make them unoriginal
And to make them unoriginal would be to make them unsatisfactory
But I wish you would coddle me and tell me those things

I can't tell you how much I want to be yours
Because to tell you would be to give you power over me
And to give you the power would be to give you my leash
But I wish I could, and you would own me.

I can't tell you how twisted I am
Because to tell you would be to make you notice
And to make you notice would be to disgust you
But I wish you'd accept me

I can't tell you
I'm sorry for that
You've given me your trust
But I can't give it back

I can't explain
So I'll apologize
I simply don't want to be
Pathetic in your eyes

I can't confide
And I'll always feel remorse
But if I were to lose you
I'd feel much worse

I can't be who you wish me to be
So I'll keep who I really am
Under lock and key
I'll chain up my personality
So, ideally you'll see
The person you can't help but love

That person that leaves you starstruck

I'll hold back all I am
Because I am not your ideal
And your ideals are above me
So I can't let myself be real

I've shunned who I am
Because of who you are
I am bitter and angry
But you'll never see my scars

I want to let you closer
I want to try my luck
But deep down I know
I'm not who leaves you *starstruck

To you I am the quiet one
I barely say a word
I am unobtrusive and reserved
Never insisting to be heard

To them I am loud
Opinionated and strong
With a laugh loud and boisterous
And a smile that's never gone

To her I am hateful
And though, personally, we've not met
She hates me, can't stand me
The sight of me fills her with upset

To him I am beautiful
To him I am ugly
To him I am mother
How do you see me

I am what you believe
I am what you see
I am that girl who is
All you think me to be

In this marathon, I'll always win
But I'll never claim the prize
As once I have the trophy
It no longer interests my eyes

In this marathon I shouldn't run
Because I won't treasure my success
I'll gain the prize, win first place
And give it to the rest

In this marathon where you are the trophy
And I give unrelenting chase
Until you finally give in and love me
So I can finally walk away

In this marathon I'm running
The prize is not my goal
I simply love the thrill of the chase
And then the passion runs cold

In this marathon I'm running
I'll do anything to win
But once I do it's over
And I'll find a new chase to begin

So please don't take it personally
When I leave after the race
And learn from now on
Not to trust someone so fake

With a smile on her face
She hates
And wishes them all to die

With a tear and a frown
He cries
But truly feels no pain inside

With a chuckle of mirth
She hugs
But the words fester and leave a mark

With a harsh bark and unkind words
He attacks
Just to protect his heart

The faces we wear in public
A lie covering what we feel
The disguises we use to protect ourselves
Never showing what is real

You'll never admit
Just how soft you are inside
How you'll always help those in need
You'll never, never confide

But I don't need your words
To see past your tough facade
As every action you make proves me right
And I'm filled with awe

You are kind beyond words
Sweet beyond needs
Humble beyond shyness
Fair in your deeds

And when you ask why I chuckle
I'll always say
No matter how you hide it
You're such a tsundere

*Tsundere:  character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing his or her warm side over time

I wake as your  friend                                     You wake as my lover
I speak as your lover                                       You speak as my friend
I act as your possession                                   You are my possesion
I rebel as your cover                                        A means to an end
I hurt for your compassion                             You live for my acceptance
I injure for your respect                                  Though it's never been withheld
I confide for your emotion                              You crave my direction
I give and you collect                                      Never will you rebel

This is madness                                               This is Sparta
This is insanity                                                This is the price of exellence
I can't be everything for you                          I am your everything
You can't be everything for me                     I am magnificence
You treat everyone the same                         I am fair and righteous
As a friend, yet as a lover                              And yet you seek more
And it's a cruel, cruel game                          Dare you grow capricious
From your twisted love, no one recovers     You'll become one I abhor

I am done                                                       You are confused
(I am never done)                                          And I will not calm you
I am sick                                                        As I am amused
(But I'm not tired)                                         As I drop little clues  
I will run                                                        You'l­l never leave me
(I won't run)                                                  But I'll abandon you
Because I love you                                        You'll always need me
(A better word is 'desire')                             And I'll never need you

Let me go!                                                    My grip is vice-like
(But you're not holding me)                       I'm not ready to let you go
Bring me back!                                            If I lose you, 'my dear'
(But I never left)                                          I must find yet another 'beau'
Love me only!                                             And I've not the time to put effort
(But you love equally)                               In little minions like you
Push me away!                                          I've not a care to give for
(Or bridge this rift)                                    You insects I never knew

Please, disappear                                       I am your torture
One day you'll understand                      But I am your salvation
That the twisted way you love                 I am your executioner
Could coax death from any human        And I am your redemption
Please, disappear!                                     You'll wish me dead forever
Though I'll weep when you're gone        You'll wish me dead I know
I know sanity will return                          And you'll wish yourself deader
And I'll eventually move on.                    *When away I finally go.