i lost myself in the waves of emotions
they knocked me to the sand at my knees
my lungs filled with bitter salt
i crawl to a *******
to be met by a an undertow
pulling me under the water
scraping my skin on the rocks on the bottom
salt stings my cuts
the undertow pushes me back up on the beach front
the sun is warm
the breeze is subtle

with every bit of new information
i shove more gauze into the wound

i woke up everyday and chose him
he woke up one day and abandoned me

i know my worth isn't someone's opinion
but when you love someone
their opinion can impact your worth and confidence
right now i am no ones
one and only
even to the one man who is mine
i feel worthless

everyday is just as hard
selling my heart as spare parts
i only have half a heart

I have a lot of band aids in my life right now
But no real antidote
I have a wound that needs stitches & staples
I just let it air out

i miss vicodin
the warm hug it gave my organs
the way it would make my brain unravel
it almost gave the ability to make any surface plush

it feels degrading to keep reaching out
to only get silence in return
how am i supposed to convince you that my love is authentic
that my love runs deep enough to work through anything?
you know where i stand but you won't hear me out
the ball in your court
you seemed to take a knife to

i feel like there's a serpent in my stomach
& a hole in my chest
will i always feel this way
confused & empty
desperate for conversation
are we there yet

why is it that
time heals you
but distance also makes the heart grow fonder?
things simply cannot be both

people have no compassion
no acceptance
no patience
people would rather get something new
than fix what's broken
often times
it's themselves who are

Why do I have to beg
If I tried my best
Why do I have to bargain
For love that shouldn’t have left
Why do I feel miserable
How do you feel better
How could this end
If we were so compatible

there is no way i was meant to love someone this much
hurt this deep
all for nothing
its not everyday people get to be in love and feel that love back
like i did

i had to carry the pain alone
so im fine with you carrying the guilt

i trace my fingers around it's jagged edge
it dips
recessed in it's nuzzled home
taught and ridgid
i stroke the sides
the hole you left in me

My mind is spinning like a top
How could he give up on me
On us
Who would have thought Love
Wasn’t enough

i can't bring myself to believe it
that our love was unrequited
i felt his love, to my very core
a love like that doesn't just come to a screeching halt
he is my person

i have a wound that needs stitches & staples
i just let it air out

i don't believe in trust, i believe in chance
everyday someone has the chance to hurt who loves them
and they have to make the choice not to
i choose love everyday

i am damaged goods
but the bruised parts of fruit
are the sweetest

When did he find the time to not love me
When will I ever believe someone does
How could I believe someone does
I felt it, seen it, heard it
Then seen it go, but never that the end was coming
When will we be reunited