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Pea Apr 2016
everyone else is so done with 2016
but *******, it's only the 17th monday

and today's not the last day, i suppose
so would you come back, would you stay some other time?

you're the one who makes breathing bearable
and life possible to be content with

though it tastes sour on the tongue
each word i gulp back is sweet in the throat

so i try to hold a secret deep in the deepest forest
and soon enough you catch my eyes like wildfire

i had hoped today actually was not the last day
but if it's not, would it have been different?

every time i remember your voice, your gaze
it was apocalypse
"what's the point
in being young?
so meaningless, without you
i'm no good"
Mr. Watson - Cruel Youth
Pea Apr 2016
lend me a home,
or just a shoulder to lean on

is more than enough;
those two things
i can't do by myself,

no matter how badly
i try to believe:

for the heart is in my chest,
i am my own home;

for i already have two shoulders,
i won't be needing another.

but my head is too heavy
because of these sour clouds, my neck
might accidentally break.
  Apr 2016 Pea
Akemi
Running running running running
Bury him in the dirt
Bury him in the flesh
Skateboard wheels run along the ground
Shhh shhh shhh
A digger splits the pavement
Water spills into a dead bird's beak
Ten pressed to the power line
A chaotic mesh wings snarled in the air
For a second an eye emerges
But reality shifts
A man fails committing suicide
They remove the tie from his throat and blood cells rush through his flesh
But his starved brain remains dead
And his daughter can't stand his stupid bloated face
Red leaves the color of blood
A dog breaks its leg crossing the road
Gutters overflow with spit
And fish swim until their ribs shrink
There's a heart in the centre of the earth
Oil spills into the gulf
Fire seals the exits
And twenty families drown
Sprinklers carry their bodies to the heavens
A newspaper kid sees them on his morning run and bikes around
Reality shifts
I'm caught in the whirl of my motions
Tumbling forward unable to grasp my presence
Reality shifts reality shifts reality shifts
But I'm not ready to shift with it
There's a dead bird in my pocket
I cross a road but the road is endless
I feel sick
Head on my knees
Awake in my bedroom
Construction workers lift the tarmac and reseal it
The old pieces pile where no one sees them
Decay codified in construction
Jesus, what am I saying?
Is any of this even real?
I've been gone a long time
Hands stuffed in pockets
Eyes set on dead grass, raindrops and McDonald's wrappers
People gather and break like tides
But I'm never one of them
I thought the mouth was for flesh
But it's for rot
It all makes sense now
Why Sunday mornings taste like glass
Because I can't stand myself
April 2016

https://mitakihara.bandcamp.com/album/empty-mouths
Pea Apr 2016
do you want to see death?
i have plenty of them
scattered in my eyes--just
look beyond my irises,
you can't
stab my soul;
she is far behind
the flesh and bones
that slowly are turning
yellow like teeth--the yellow
from my skin seeps into
even the darkest of depth.
Pea Apr 2016
my head hurts like cotton candy breath of a unicorn, beneath the rainbow in food poisoning glitter. we all talk like neighborhood fantasy, green grass and red tulips on the way to our houses, we can show our teeth to each other. let a pause take its time when sunday comes the day comes in blessings. do not fear for i am with you, forgive them for they know not what they do. mother, behold, your child. child, here is your mother. can you not? go find death before you die, conversations do not equal exchanging words, they all have to do with childhood dreams and granted wishes. which are nothing. look at my feet, they are the one closest to cinderella's only that i have calves like a horse and thighs like pumpkins. my biggest regret would be a decision if i decided to put on the label miracle, despite the raging womb of mother blows a fetus out of question. all motherhood is the same, only that i was born from a waning moon. be proud of your daughters, in a worst case scenario they probably take after you.
Pea Apr 2016
Lit the silence, what once
was damp
now burned. I
sleep in wildfire,
keep my mind as straight
as an Asian
daughter.
As soon as the sun
goes up, HCl
too. Even my tears are
acidic.
I cry for no reason
and laugh because I feel like
crying. Present it much. Staying up late,
I haven't got the
time to worry.
My
lioness is
taking her rest
in my chest,
on my shoulders and the back
I give her a ride.
What a lovely day.
Pea Apr 2016
fire is wings
to free the body
deny the soul
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