I,
The Sage fool,
Am trapped
in a birdcage
Of lies,
Aged away
in this wooden
stage,
left to decay
As I entertain
The ones who complain,
The ones who don’t know
When the curtains close,
I go into rage—
Because I can’t get help
When I hate myself.

Memories inked
in bleeding words,
Filling every page,
Ready to fleet away.
A chapter of stories I keep,
hidden deep in the
basement mind,
worsened everyday
With unkind echoes
As I listened.

While I,
The Wise Fool,
Forced to wear
A fool’s masked grin
to deceive,
To hide what’s real in me—
Like a trick up my sleeve.
Used my talent
To inspire the
ignorant—
They **** my hope,
Shove a bitter
pill of judgement
down my throat
To keep me on silence,
Yet I still stand.

I am the fool,
The entertainment,
I am the sage,
A wisdom they fear
but never lamented.

I’m the fool
With a smile,
But throughout
my wise miles
I played their games,
My wisdom blazes in
their mocking flames.

The Silence is Silent.
The loneliness is
a sharp knife,
ready to cut off
my wings

The Silence is Silent,
Though the screams of pain—
so loud and unbearable,
It broke me.

There was a silent boy,
Who used to have a lot of joy in his heart.
Until he fell apart.
The boy’s emotions were toyed by the bitter moments.
Life destroying him little by little.
Problems yelling in his head,
Even though those negative thoughts should’ve been dead already.
But the silent boy still stands there silently…

A Tortured Artist,
had always suffered in the dark,
With a fractured heart that was never healed but
Filled with stitches of the scars from the past that lies within.
He never wanted to exist just to be thrown in a locked closet
under the Harvest moon of cold November.
He remembers the burned reminiscences
Of the broken promises and bitter mementos that sends him into
A downward spiral in the deepest darkest pits of the shadows.

He was promised love, and freedom.
Now he’s dead-
forgotten.
He now lives as the wisest artist.
Speaking and throwing ink with the
Rawest words of realism on the canvas of the coldest world.
It shapes the view of the dark Harvest Moon from a closet.

Without a shattered heart,
Or being locked in the dark closet,
how would an artist be inspired of art
if he’s not tortured in this coexisted world
That lies beneath the worst current events?

The violin
screams its voice—
The voice of
the beauty of pain
for the lonely.
Played so loudly
and violently—
It could not
have meant anything
but violence.

Only then,
the violinist hears
the haunting words:

“Oh help me—“
“PLEASE HELP ME!”

The walk for freedom,
The walk for justice,
The walk for equality.
Look!
These signs say
“Men of Quality,
don’t fear equality!”

“We’re all Equal!”

We don’t sit and
talk quietly about
what’s in front of us—
We shout!
Shout louder than
the mighty storm!

We protest!
We resist being
broken down by
the greedy corrupt,
and malicious demons.
We fight for the right
to live humanely.

It’s never the end,
It’s the new beginning—
We walk the walk
to be human.

Dear critics—
and for those
who read this,
I believe
you may
or may not
notice—

Maggots,
crawling inside
my ribcage,
gnawing me alive—
I’ve vanished
without a trace.
I hope you hate me.
It’s so tragic—
I’ve quit, erased
my magic that
made me ache
to exist—
**** it.

I hold a box of tissues.
I try to clean up a mind filled with issues.
A heart filled with wounds.
Rooms filled with abuse that intrudes.
To tell you the truth, they can’t be removed.
Then I lose myself.
But instead of sitting and
crying with tissues in my hands.
I choose to write my issues through
poems filled with words and rhymes
like Dr. Seuss to tell the truth from a wounded soul.
These tissues will not be enough to solve my issues.

We create gods
not to make up a story
Or to build a group or a society or a greater city.
We create gods because
We don’t know why we really exist.
We’re scared of the possibility
that we exist just to exist without a reason to exist.
Maybe the only reason that life was created and that we only live
Is just because our only purpose is to be human,
and to be human is to be ourselves.
Makes me think though that when a God gives us love or hope,
It’s basically saying it’s the people that we think of the most, loves us
And was always there for us.
Maybe it’s someone we love is the spirit we look upon.
But who have I pray to all this time
if I’m the only person that feels lonely and lost?

Come to think of it, let this sink in…
We also create a story of how bitter memories shapes us
or how we’ve been that lost soul in the crossroads of no hope
throughout life itself based on strange characters we created throughout history.
You see, when you base on the devil himself that gives you hell,
You tell yourself that it’s the traumas that bring us down.
Our own self hate and anxiety trying to drown us into the dark abyss.
Making us not breathe.
But the only gods we can look upon are us.
We’re the ones to create these thoughts and choices.
Beliefs and crazy stories of ghosts and spirits that
Lies inside our minds
and to let go of the Dead that used to live in our own heads.
To tell people that you’re not alone in this world.

I think the only reason we really exist is to be human.
To think and create stories on our own perceptions
Of life and the beauty and ugliness of our moments to be human.
To express or feel the emotions of bitterness and hope throughout any art.
I’m not an atheist,
Nor a realist,
I’m an artist,
living the beauty and horror
Of the moments from my own perspectives
Of my own story
To be human.

In order to
write a poem,
You become the ink.
The Pen.
The Paper.
The Idea.
The Cold fear.
The Lover.
The Ghost.
The things you
hold the most.
To write a poem,
you must become
what you write.

Every night,
As I lie in my bed,
I can’t sleep.
When I can’t sleep,
I do these funny strange things.
Like when I roll over in my bed,
I imagine in my head I’m with someone.
Hugging my pillow, trying to hear a heartbeat.
Though It’s hollow.
My bed is warm,
But I feel cold with this empty space.
Sometimes when I can’t sleep,
I sit up and clasp my hands close together.
Like that Disney scene in WALL-E.
For a while,
I start to think I’m holding someone’s hand.
Though the whole time, I find myself alone.
Imagining things in my mind.
I distract myself…
From the reality of being untouched and alone.
But even in my dream,
I wake up to find myself
In the reality of being touch-starved
And lonely every waking night.

I’m breaking,
collapsing
into pieces,
trapped in
my bathroom—
crying…

shaking
in fear,
tears fall
against the
floor with stress,
My chest heavy,
Barely breathing,
I’m a mess—
barely holding
on

Not ready to
leave yet,
Afraid to ask
“I need help”…
I’m a little
unsteady

“Your call has been
forwarded to an
automatic voice
message system.
At the tone,
please record
your message.
When you are finished
recording your message,
you may hang up—”

BEEP

Hey!

I hope
you’re doing ok…
Haven’t heard
from you in days.
Been trapped inside
this quiet space.
Chasing a ghost
I can’t erase—
Wasting time in
smoke and mirrors
of you—
Though it’s worth it.

I really wish
we get a chance
to talk again,
like how we used to—
way back when
your laughter echoes
like home to me.
Now it's empty

Every moment
I hear your
voice memo,
The silence
sends chills
straight to
the bone.

I hope
you’re ok…
I hope
you’re well…
Um…
Sorry—
I can’t tell,
And it’s pure
hell to never hear
you anymore—

BEEP

I rewind
and play that
sentence
repeatedly
in my mind,
like a cassette tape—
And every
word of it
hurts.

Most times,
I feel it’s a
dramatic act.
I don’t know
what’s real
or what’s not,
there’s a knot
in my stomach.
Tapes distorted,
voices corrupted
them—

“We care about you—”
wHeRE aRe YoU—
“Where have you been—”
wE MisS yOu—
“Please come back—”
“We WaNt you BaCk—*

We all want you back…

Beyond the mountains
of morning,
an Angel sings
a melody of a
Thousand lost spirits.
Its lyrics sharpen
into weapons,
carving truths.

Too sharp to be
spoken and sung.
Too raw to be
understood.

Its wings eaten
away by maggots.
Its heart stabbed by demons.
Once a heaven of innocence,
until shadows killed
the Angel’s soul.
Now trapped and
hidden forever
in shadows with
no wings,
its voice hits anger
and violence and
no freedom.

Your mind is a powerful place and
It can affect you in a powerful way
Depending on what you feed.
But it’s not always safe, see?
Your mind can leave you behind.
In a hurricane full of regrets and mistakes.
Your mind can throw you in a maze out of nowhere.
But what amazed me though is the fact that it can leave you
Threats.

See? Your mind is like a puppeteer
Controlling your thoughts and fears.
Sometimes you feel as if you’re floating off into
Space, and everyday you’re hoping it goes away.
Well actually…

Your mind can feed you anxiety, leading you
In a spiral of insanity of no hope.
Having the ability to shatter reality and
affecting you mentally.
Then you sit there silently because it won’t
Let go.

Then you look at yourself in the reflections,
aim at your direction,
and shoot your perception
With hate.

In fact come to think of it,
Let this sink in.
Your mind is like an act on stage
Because the things you might believe are not real.
I know that sounds strange.
Sure, you might feel as if you’re locked in a cage.
Can’t even stop yourself from reading the same page
Of the past, over and over again.
Sometimes you don’t know when to begin to love yourself.

But is that where we all struggle the most?