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Panic Theater Sep 2015
I take one step forward
He takes three steps back
We've been dancing
Dancing just like that
And tomorrow, we'll do this again
Until we both lose and no one wins
But I want your fury and your pain
I enjoy loving him.
Panic Theater Sep 2015
I want to scrape off my skin
Just to tear the words
That your tongue had left for me.

I want to scrape my skin
Just to forget the parts of my body
Where your lips had once lingered.

Paint my body in scarlet
And color me with purple bruise
I want to drown in you.
Panic Theater Sep 2015
It’s one in the morning.

There is no other bus in the terminal than this one.
It is filled with dozing passengers,
Half-awake bodies smelling of cheap perfume,
Watered alcohol, lime and cigarette.
You smell like mint and a hint of sugary Sprite.
You sit on the last row of the bus,
Just next to the window.
White headphones thread their way
Through your tumbleweed hair.

I wonder what are the songs
You spend your time listening to.

I look at your reflection on the glass.
I steal glances at your lovely face.
As you lean on the smooth glass window
Let the world pass you by for a while.

I wonder if you noticed me staring.
I wonder if for a fleeting moment you tried.

Perhaps you don’t.
But I certainly do.

I notice the lonesome wrinkle under your eyes.
I notice the way your lips quirk into a smile.
I notice the rumble of your laughter
I notice how bad you want to believe in ever afters.
I notice how in the ghostly streetlight, your irises change a slight hue.
I notice that your wearing a navy mascara and cerulean eyeshadow.

It’s almost my stop.
But I don’t try to stand up.

I turn to you, and you looked so vulnerable.
You’re curled up in your side, fast asleep.
And I never wanted any other thing
Than hold you in my arms for a heartbeat.
You look so vulnerable – and not pretty.
Not pretty. Beautiful.

You had your eyes closed.
You can’t see me.
But I see you.

I want to flip the hourglass.
I want to keep you right there, on the back row of the dingy bus.
I want to stop the sand from pouring down.
I want to stop the bus, from driving into town.
I want to stop the world.
I want to stop the universe.

Because mine just did.
Panic Theater Sep 2015
I am at a loss
Trying so hard
To find the right words to say
For you,
To open the door
And let me in,
Once again.

(For you to break my heart once more.)
Panic Theater Sep 2015
I took down
all my walls
just so you
can reach me.

But you constantly
built the tall fences
all around you
to keep me away.
Panic Theater Sep 2015
Your eyes are a cerulean hue
Filled with fifty shades of blue
And I fell in love with each one of them
All the fifty shades of you.

— The End —