There are only three words
that I feel like saying right now,
three words
that I've thought about over and over again
as I lay awake in bed,
three words
that soar like a bird
wild and free and full of fresh breath,
three words
that I want to shout till my voice
becomes so sore I can't speak
three words
that I hope you feel like saying back
but have just been too afraid to,
three words
I. love. you.

This world feels too small
even though there are seven continents
and five, frothing oceans,
maybe I just feel small
because people today don't touch
each other's hearts the way they used to,
instead, we go through every social setting
without so much as sharing a smile with another,
we no longer lift each other up
when we feel sad or lonely or small,
we just sit and stare down at our phones,
no, that's not loving at all,
that's just lonely,
and that's the last thing I want to be.

You tell me of your dream girl,
and every time you do  
there's this tiny voice in the back of my head,
ignoring the angel on my shoulder,
whispering,
What if that girl was me?
Could I make you happy?

Amber colored bubbles
rising within me,
I can hear each one
coming to the surface,
then popping.
Amber colored bubbles
fizzing up
like strawberry soda,
making me feel all tingly
from my fingers to my toes.
Amber colored bubbles
slicing through the dark,
beaming as bright
as the smile
you placed upon my lips.

I'm one step from falling,
one push from breaking,
one tear from bawling,
and I don't think I can take it.

Being on top of the world one moment
and hitting rock bottom the next
is one of the worst feelings in the world,
like life is just one huge ferris wheel
that never stops.
up, down
even after you've run out of tickets
up, down
even after your skin turns stark white
from motion sickness.
The cycle will continue
until you choose to take control of you
up, down
What are you going to do?

some people think
writing a sentence
and hitting enter
a hundred times
is poetry

but poetry is
that on-the-edge-of -your-seat rollercoaster ride
that only goes up,
that ending ******* all pretty with a bow,
that washes you with a wave of emotions,
the crumple of paper and the smell of ink
that hits your nose as you sit on your bed,
dreaming so hard you can see the stars in your eyes.
No, poetry doesn't just scratch the surface,
with simple, shallow words,
poetry makes you feel emotions
you didn't' know existed.

I'm sorry
I couldn't be like her,
I'm sorry
I couldn't be the daughter you wanted,
I'm sorry
I don't share your beliefs,
or dreams,
or perspective,
but most of all,
you should feel sorry for yourself.

Strangers on the the street,
just you, just me,
no longer us.
No longer two people holding hands,
who walked with the same gait,
but two people who are too scared
to even give the other eye contact
as they brush shoulders
on the way to their new lives.
But even though I can't will myself
to look you in the eye anymore,
I will always remember those four years
where I would smile at just the mere sight of you
and you would smile back,
where I would fantasize about our future together
as I spilled my heart out on the pages.
No, I will never forget,
but you did,
throwing those memories out on the curb
to be hauled away on trash day,
erasing me out of your life,
like I had never been there to begin with.
Time has sprinted by,
and I've moved on with someone new,
but I know my heart will never forget you,
and when her and I walk with the same gait
and just so happen to pass you by,
I will always want to look up,
because, deep down, I wish we were more
than just strangers on the street.

The phrase "love of my life"
doesn't even come close to my love for you.

You're the center of my universe,
the gravity that holds everything together.
Without you all of the planets would crash into each other,
the moon would no longer control the tides,
the sun would never shine again.

I would fall apart at the seams without you,
you're more than just the "love of my life."

You are my everything.

She's the sweetest little girl I swear,
the girl with the halo of hair.

Her eyes might be an icy blue,
but deep inside there lies a different hue,
one that's brighter than the sun's rays,
that blooms far wilder than the flowers of May.

Yes, she may be beautiful,
but she's also the girl who pulls
on my heartstrings when she holds me close,
who doesn't make me feel like a ghost,
whose smile brightens up my day,
who doesn't judge the things I do or say.

I knew the second I saw her she was the one for me,
the one who will always make me happy
and though she's a girl, she's the love of my life,
who I hope will one day become my wife.

If these walls could talk,
oh, the things I'd say,
I'd tell them of the past few days,
about these feelings that won't go away.

If these walls could talk,
I'd probably end up crying
from always lying,
from all the feelings I've been denying.

But these walls will never talk
and neither will you,
because you were the one who withdrew.
If only you knew
how lonely I've been without you...

I've always been able to admire
those girls that can go about their day
without caking concealer on their face,
those girls that wake up in the morning
and look in the mirror
and smile at each of their imperfections
as if they were beauty marks.
And when I see that same girl
walking down the street,
I can't help but smile,
because that girl decided
to block out the screams of society
and love herself despite her flaws.
That, to me, is the most beautiful thing.

When I die
I don't want to be buried.
Set my physical body ablaze
the same way my soul
will be burning in hell,
carry me to the top
of the highest cliff overlooking the ocean
so I can see the breeze ruffling
the fabric of your sunshine dress.
And then you'll sit beside me one last time
and whisper you're deepest darkest secrets,
your fears, your dreams,
because you know I no longer have a mouth
to tell anyone these things.
Tell me of the places we never went,
the sights we'd never see,
those memories so bittersweet,
and finally, when the sun sets
and the time feels right,
pop open my lid,
set me free,
watch me fly
the same way I flew off that bridge
some summer nights ago
when the wind was in my head.
I'll relay my regrets
as I fall towards the frothing waves
and the gaping jaws of the rocks below,
the black, murky depths
and the hands of Satan
reaching out to greet me,
the dying light of your sunshine dress
the last thing that I see.

I'm afraid of letting you down,
my voice is sore, my hands are shaking
and my thoughts are screaming  way too loud.
I've tried so hard, I tried my best
and now I'm being put to the test.
Hours of practice just to make you proud,
but what if I let you down?

I drag through every day
with invisible cement blocks
strapped to my feet.
I let nobody in,
nobody sees,
nobody knows my struggle
except for me.
I've kept up a smile
through these tears for years
because I know
the world won't stop revolving
just because I'm depressed.
It keeps on spinning  
through suicide attempts every second
and climate change,
and world wars.
No, the world won't stop revolving for anybody,
it's every man for himself
in this dog-eat-dog world.

My heart leapt to touch yours
when you looked at me with those eyes ,
with understanding,
and though we just met,
and I don't know you just yet,
I feel like I've made a friend.

I crush spiders
Instead of taking them outside.
If they break into my house,
then they deserve to die :)

I can't wait to be older,
I can't wait for my skin to wrinkle,
to have lines etched into my face
like an old tree who's seen too many seasons,
proof to anyone who lays their eyes on me
that I lived a life of laughter,
and genuine smiles that make
my eyes constantly crinkle around the edges.
I can't wait to gain all the weight
after having kids who will have their own kids
who will extend the limbs of my family tree
and be there to one day take care of me
the same as I did for them,
no, I can't wait to be older
and live a life of love.

Freedom is such a beautiful thing
that makes you feel weightless,
like you're on top of the world,
like you can control the constellations.
And why can we feel freedom?
Because you can't have light without darkness
or happiness without sadness,
we all know what it's like
to be chained down,
a slave to society,
to the cards we've been dealt if life.
Lately I've been stuck in a cell
screaming to be free,
fiending to feel weightless again,
willing to do anything to take off these chains,
because deep down I will always be
a slave to freedom.

My heart swelled like the sea
on that night when you told me.
I remember it so vividly,
your voice was so lovely,
on that night you set my soul free

We'll see the same moon
when you watch from your window.
Sit and remember me,
soak in our memories
till you taste those tears so bittersweet.
But do not stay sad,
instead stretch a smile
and be happy that I was your's
and you were mine,
even if it was only for a short time,
if we share the same moon
we'll both be fine.
I will find my way back to you,
when the sun sets
it doesn't go away forever,
but comes back just as beautiful as before
as a blazing sunrise.
So for now look to the moon,
I will be back soon,
I will find my way back to you.
I promise.

I'll place a whisper of a kiss
on your pale lips,
even though this isn't a goodbye,
though you've run out of time,
because you'll forever be alive
and breathing inside my memory.

If you seek me, I will always hide,
if you chase, me I will always run,
if you hit me, I will always fight,
if you turn out the light, I'll be the sun

Whenever I sit and ponder upon my life
I can always count on fairy tales,
on princesses.
But no, I'm not talking about all the
glitz and glamour and happy endings
most people imagine,
I think of the little things,
of how jealous I am of Cinderella.
And no, I could care less
about her prince or fairy godmother,
all I care about is the ball,
of how Cinderella got it all.
Cinderella at least got
to stay out till midnight,
when my ball came around,
when prom came around,
I was never even allowed to attend,
I never get the chance
to see the twinkling lights
or the dresses long enough to trip over,
I'd never dance till my legs turned to jelly,
or walk in with the love of my life,
no, I'd never even be there long enough
to drop my glass slipper.
I will never have till midnight,
all I'll ever have are four walls to stare at
under the surveillance of my strict parents,
I'll never be a Cinderella,
I'll only ever be a Rapunzel,
locked up in a tower,
waiting on a prince to save me
that will never come.

There are plenty of people
who push others away,
who say that
they're fine being a lone wolf,
but even wolves in the wild
who leave their pack
go off to find a mate
and sow the seeds
to start their own family,
they still surround
themselves with others.
Lone wolves don't actually exist,
only the idea of it,
so if wolves need others
in order to survive,
then why don't people?

"It's the little battles that win the war,"
I repeat over and over again
even as my war paint wears off,
as I'm fighting an uphill battle.
I know I can't give up
because surrendering means
sacrificing my humanity,
everything I've been fighting for.
I won't be the daughter
you want me to be,
I will break free,
I will be me.
"It's the little battles that win the war."

It's time for The Day and The Night
to finally fight
for their spot in the sky.
One will have to say goodbye
because their's not enough room
for them both to loom.

The Day wants the people to dance
all day and to prance
through their lives with unwavering smiles
that stretch for miles,
for them to take control of their lives
and squash the strife that follows life,
while The Night wants to spread good dreams
that won't fall apart at the seams,
because waking brings reality
and a feeling of mortality
that lies in the eye bags of the world
and haunts each boy and girl.

They both believe that they're too different,
that they are incapable of seeing the magnificence
in the other that the world sees in them both each day,
because the truth, deep down, makes them afraid.
And though their their similarities may seem far,
the sun is also a star.

Her lips on mine,
can't help but fantasize.
Imagining her angel eyes,
whether they're real or just a disguise,
keeps my head in the skies
and tucks me in tight,
a loving lullaby
that sings me to sleep each night.

My time is up,
the flame's burned out
and there's no wick left
to start it back up.
All hope is gone.

I've lost everyone
and everything I love,
I've been broken down,
I'm nothing but an empty shell.
This place is purgatory,
I'd rather be in hell,
at least then the blazing flames
would make me feel something
even if all I felt was pain,
because right now
I'm nothing but an empty shell
that feels nothing for nobody.

The clock is ticking,
time is thinning.
I'm withered to a few loose threads,
on the verge of snapping,
threadbare.
It's not fair
that nothing gold can stay
summer fades,
you move away,
youthful days,
and these threads that are frayed
can never be put back together.
Time is brutal, everyone dreads her,
you can run but you can't hide.
The clocking is ticking...

We'll carry on
when all is gone,
charging strong
into the dawn.

I push people away
and leave them before
they can leave me,
before you can betray me,
because everybody hates me.

I never knew bruises
could come in every color
until you hit me.
You gave me the entire rainbow
from blackened purples to sickly greens,
you gave my once smooth canvas texture,
it made you so happy see me bleed.
But this art project became our little secret
because no one else is supposed to see,
It's not like anyone would believe
that he gave me these bruises,
that he mixed these colors so pretty.
No, Daddy made this rainbow just for me.

When I'm sad the words stop,
my trail of ink slows
I have so much on my mind,
so much that clashes together
that my thoughts cancel each other out,
the pen won't touch the paper,
and all I'm left feeling
is lonely and confused and scared,
because these words are trapped inside of me,
pounding on the prison bars,
screaming to get out,
suffering in my sadness
until the end of eternity.

It seems like life
has too many lows
and not enough highs.
Just like gravity,
what comes up must always come down,
and when you fall flat on your face
it's always hard to get back up again.
You wonder why you even try anymore,
I wonder why I even try anymore,
but the reason I haven't succumbed myself
to the manic madness inside my head
is because of the rare things
that come in life like
double rainbows and
four leaf clovers and
happy tears and
laughing until your stomach hurts and
all of the nonsense about dreams and
true love that probably isn't even true.
And though these things may seem simple,
I'm too curious to give up.
I'll always be chasing the end of the rainbow
even if I never find it,
because life is just a bottomless pit
if there's nothing for me to hope for.

You twist the truth
into boy scout knots
and put them on display
for all to see.
"Look at me! Look what I did!"
and everyone believed it,
while I sat in the corner, quiet,
because people only want to believe
the story that sounds the most interesting.

I just found out after years
of light and loving laughter
that you've hated me all this time.
It's crazy the number
of masks in your collection,
happy and caring and loving masks
that were, in the end, too good to be true.
Just thinking about you makes me think
about the masks we all put up.
It's like every morning we wake up
to go to a huge masquerade party,
and instead of taking
our masks off at the end of the night,
we sleep with them on,
always lying, always deceiving
even when the party's over.

We all were so close,
we all had each other's backs,
and you gave the best hugs
until you stabbed me in the back.

You had turned so fast
I had to do a double take,
I had no idea
you could act so fake.

I wish I would've known
that you had another person
living inside of you,
a parasite infecting you
from the inside out,
I wish I had never had to find out.

I wish I could just have
the old you back,
because you used to give the best hugs
until you stabbed me in the back...

It's not love
if you kick someone to the curb,
if you drop someone like a bad habit.
You said you had no one to talk to
even when I was standing next to you,
yet you always looked at her
like she was the only thing
that could put a smile
on those lips I've kissed.
You had checked out of our relationship
before it was even over,
and here I am, still trying to be sober,
trying to let go of the grasp
I still have on you.
I was nothing compared to her.
I'm sorry I couldn't be her,
I'm sorry it wasn't love.

I feel like my world is ending,
like the earth just split in two
the same way my heart did.
But I'll be okay,
this isn't the first time
the stars stopped shining.
I may feel like I'm dying,
but I'll still be alive.
I'll be fine.

I'm all you have,
and I know that's sad,
but we'll both be fine,
because when one of us cries
we'll still face our fears,
we won't be alone to dry our tears,
so dry your tears, Love, don't be blue,
I'll be fine if I have you.

You're an achiever,
a go-getter.
You grab the world by the horns,
you direct the ocean waves
you can do anything,
have anything you want.
That's just a part of who you are,
always needing more,
constantly starving
and striving to be
stronger and braver and smarter,
which is why I'll never be
good enough for you.

Big, bustling crowd
swarming so loud,
I can't block this sound.
I feel like I'm gonna drown
from these tears falling down,
I wish no one was around
THIS CROWD IS TOO LOUD

I saw the devil in her eyes,
       and I had thought I was fine,
               but I was too dumb to realize
                      I had let her inside my mind.

I've got jealousy
inside of me.
I can't set it free,
I can't let you see
this monster inside of me
because I can't guarantee
that I'll keep my sanity,
and though I can't breathe
I'll continue to keep
this jealousy
inside of me.

Tonight we are young,
but, tomorrow, we better run.
Because tomorrow brings another day,
and these growing pains won't go away.
So we'll run away from this barren land,
hand in hand, we'll fly to Neverland.
I don't care what we get into,
because my heart's at home when I'm with you.

I've burned so many bridges
I have no where else to go,
no where to cross.
Now all I look down and see,
between the chasms I created,
is the infinite abyss,
dark and swirling and ******* me in.
I have no where else to go,
and since I've burned so many bridges,
all I can do now is jump.

I saw you with your mask down today.
You had kept it on for so long
I had thought it was super glued to your face,
but when it slipped I saw that the person
who seemed cold and distant on the inside
only kept up that guard on the outside.
You remind me of a swimming pool,
cold if you only dip your toe in,
but not so bad if you jump straight in.
I'm glad I saw you with your mask down today.
Never put it back on.