my hips, my ***, the insides of my thighs
I tried to give him tips
but they were tips he never tried
And he would always ask
(nothing wrong with consent except for here)
I told him, fine.
and that action’s
never wrong.

Then there I was, upset-
The question hit me straight-
Was there no chemistry between him and I
or was I the one to blame?
Tiffany, you useless lesbian.

Tethered, you held onto me,
flame you heated in me-
subtly feeding me
more and more hope.
Today the game has died
your mouth would open wide
gaping in stark disgust-
when someone thought love was us.

Twenty-nine poems too much-
outside, I had quit after “no”-
but inside, a fledgling hope
kept fighting on.
A wish for us did survive
and the Universe urges me,
“Let that want fall asleep;”
“Please just let go.”

Unemboldened resolve
whispers wantings
to me
Now I hold back desire
held by blindness and inexperience
If I had any chance
I would ask, I’d confess-
Yet you
and I
end here.
I won’t trespass, and you ought not to know
how I want you.

My thoughts are often consumed by
the ****** intimacy of two people;
me and Her, and Her and me.
I don’t yet know her face, but it’s
always a “her”
and I don’t know what to do with that information.

I tested the waters,
baby girl,
and you took it in stride-
You’re a friend.
What comes next cannot be mine.
And I want to confess,
pull you close,
chest to chest,
and yes I want to talk but that’s all we do.
You’re not into the type of sweet little thing that I miss,
And I miss last summer when you gently flirted
with me
I miss the way you would glance
like I have been
I’m preoccupied, babe, take your time-
I’m not right.
When you said no, it was in six different shades.

And we were talking, leaning,
and we were staring, thinking,
United in avoidance
And I was wanting
you,
longing to close the distance.