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Feb 6 · 592
Pink delphinium
Acora Feb 6
each of us twitch in the fingers and toes,
two people jolted repeatedly in the day,
And each of us want to put the electricity to good use
so we move; and
Running my hands through your hair feels like flying
There are bruises on my neck and cuts on my tongue
I am pulled to you.
You pull me into your chest while you're sleeping,
You pull me onto your lap in your room
it smells like *** and sweetness
Rose petals and pachouli in your dark curls--
There's a place I'm trying to reach in the center of me.
You help me find it.
Thank you for lending me those glossy dark brown eyes to see with
however long we last.
Pink delphinium-- Levity, fun, youth's power, ardent attachment...
Jan 25 · 616
I dig my fingers in
Acora Jan 25
The way I expressed it didn’t fully
make sense to my dearest
who only likes men.
It's never sat right to me
the pride of a parent in their straight child's love life,
the "don't ask don't tell" for a gay daughter
I used to see red as a fad that
had passed and a warning that I’m
not desired;
But I’m seeing clearer now,
Rose-colored glasses might
actually bring life into focus.

We're all fruity and nonconforming
girlfriends and boyfriends and partners each
Others cringe hearing "queer"...
Yet there’s something more in it:
We don't have an explicit gaze,
We have possibility, and the subversion of male eyes.
So I’ve always been nearly regal like The Lady of Shalott, or Lady Lilith,
The Birth of Venus,
Flaming June,
The Accolade— and I
like *** and I
feel wanted and I
am a commodity--

Don't a man look at me but
I will take a boyish girl's gaze
only her eyes focused on my *******—
Sleep over after the first date, for a change,
And remain soft in shape
She murmurs a lover’s desires:
Wear your identity on your sleeve,
In the curve of your back, on the scent of your hair and upon your hips, which invite her hands.

Once, I said "let's make it cinematic
Like that one *** scene that's in Mulholland Drive"
But now: "Touch me, baby"
It's finally the normal way.
Paintings by John William Waterhouse, Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Sandro Botticelli, Frederic Leighton, and Edmund Blair Leighton.
Quotes from "Naked in Manhattan" by Chappell Roan.

reworking a piece find the original here: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4292081/nelumbo-nucifera/
Jan 11 · 717
"are you queer now?"
Acora Jan 11
my hips, my ***, the insides of my thighs
Don't need to give her tips
because they're true, already tried,
And she asks without a word
(i never knew consent to be so smooth)
I've never had a lover
just a love
Now *** is never 'wrong'.

Then there I was, excited-
The question hit me straight-
"are you queer now?"
No, I'm with a girl, she's lesbian bait;
Don't criticize her anatomy.
Acora Jan 8
until it becomes wretched
and primal.
reposting
Jan 8 · 75
Papaver rhoeas
Acora Jan 8
ever since mankind had brains
we've been trying to turn them off.
yes, that was written on beer
but i think it's about critical thought.
Papaver rhoeas (common poppy): Escapism and the dreamlike state of creativity
Dec 2023 · 677
Lycoris radiata
Acora Dec 2023
It was a look in her eyes I'd never
seen in his-
Taken a bit off guard but
looking, as it is-
Respectfully, she's got respect but
don't know how to read a room
Respectfully, after a year she stopped making me feel desired
Broken finger, love still as tombs--

I miss that look in her eyes.
She became for me what he was.
Took me a bit off guard but
also built up over a year or two-
Respectfully, I wouldn't ****-talk her but also sometimes she was mean
Don't know, did she intend it?
Or are we all needlessly cruel things?

By the end I felt disgusting.
The beginning was sublime.
I read these poems and realize,
we did it right, and she was mine...
But I see now loving isn't always enough.
You have to work at it.
She tired of working.
I had to leave.
Lycoris radiata, or red spider lily: Loss, separation
Apr 2023 · 730
Solanum dulcamara
Acora Apr 2023
Help me stop consuming
that which won't fill the need
the binging and short-form content
Temu, sugar, greed
i can't wait for forgiveness
the kind one gives themselves
For consumption to be sunshine, partners, languages--
Literature, walks and
making things-- as a behavior
I want my voice and life back
to feel beautiful and strange
Not absent, hungry, listless
The way these days have been...
Solanum dulcamara (nightshade): Falsehood
Apr 2022 · 102
Ipomoea quamoclit
Acora Apr 2022
perhaps if i had another voice
to verbally abuse me until I worked
but voice has died and
she I mourn
as I sit here unfeeling
any urgency for what must get done.
Ipomoea quamoclit (cypress vine): Death*, sorrow
*in this case, the death of emotion.
Apr 2022 · 234
Anemone nemerosa
Acora Apr 2022
a haven or a coffin?
which one is the room of
             an ordinary girl with
                   ordinary problems
credit to dostoevsky for the allegory of the small bedroom representing a coffin

Anemone nemerosa: The flower for sickness
Apr 2022 · 76
Aloe vera
Acora Apr 2022
and i wanted to know,
what
in this present moment
made her inaccessibility
so much worse than the
      Infinite
      rejections of the past.
Aloe vera: A symbol of grief
Apr 2021 · 875
Nelumbo nucifera
Acora Apr 2021
The way I expressed it didn’t fully
Make sense to my dearest
Who only likes men.
I’ve never prescribed to the scrutiny
Eyes of jocks eyeing us as they do ****.
I used to see red as a fad that
had past and a warning that I’m
Not desired;
Nor will be, no matter my try.
But I’m realizing now,
Want is deeper than thou who have
wanted me only in theory.
Fruity or trans, and the girlfriend
I have, each is queer and there’s something more in it:
Queers see women the same way
they view art pieces;
So I’ve always been Venus and Ophelia,
The Lady of Shallot— not some
acquiescent cool-girl
who’ll answer your questions of
***** hair and fair children.
Where a woman I knew
sees a woman as through
some man’s eyes focused on her *******—
I cut a fringe for the change,
And remain soft in shape
For these are a lover’s desires:
Wear your identity on your sleeve,
In the curve of your arm, on the scent of your hair and upon the pendant at your neck.
Like the romantics do in literature;
After de-centering men,
You can finally be free.
Inspired by the monologue found at https://youtu.be/0o4heKCLeTs

Nelumbo nucifera, or lotus flower— liberation from attachment.
Mar 2021 · 908
Sorbaria sorbifolia
Acora Mar 2021
must dedicate myself to you
Somehow, by staying mine,
Sustaining that which you have loved,
instead of unbalancing us.
I'd never want your lips gone,
or the shine that's in your eyes,
so I'll upkeep my quiet side,
the shimmer in my hair,
to give you me as I still am--
your person while I'm mine.
Sorbaria sorbifolia (false spiraea): Dedication to, and patience for, a loved one
Acora Mar 2021
You were a poem I always wrote
You were aflame and I felt bad
She was a future yet unknown
“Us” was in view but not to have.
I didn’t know Her, nor myself
but I knew you, and then I was irrelevant.
It felt like a breakup
but up-close
I don’t know you and I
don’t know what we had.
title from Arlo Parks’ “Eugene”
Nov 2020 · 241
Acer saccharum
Acora Nov 2020
For me,
men are not romantic--
The way I love a woman is
so much less traumatic
than what straight girls
intend to endure--
Being lead on is common, I’m sure--
And she never fooled me,
She never used me,
Never did her silence spur anxiety--
I eagerly guided her fingers
inside of me- Where
Boys would lean above you, ***** in power, see- there
Hurt you as they *******, and always them to please--
Dear, your pleasure is mine and
you’re the cause of mine and
I know you’ll treat me different; Better
than what I thought could be fine.
I’ll make you finish and upon me
you’ll dine.
Women-love-women love is superior,
sublime.
Acer saccharum (sugar maple): Balance and love.
I chose it because to me, being a lesbian means romantic and ****** reciprocity :)
Oct 2020 · 325
Iris xiphium
Acora Oct 2020
Taking her in is a wonderful thing
No longer does peace rhyme
with my suffering-
Today it’s rational fears;
A test, eating well-
Going off to college and
dying off to hell-
Now peace is my room in the morning light
It’s Baroque chords and high marks and
skirts tight-
It’s comfort, and people,
And especially her,
It’s her bold mouth and walking hand in hand
The same hands under her shirt-
And finally do I know what life’s meant to mean.
And finally do I realize peace does not rhyme with
suffering.
Recovering pessimist.
mentally in such a better place !

Iris xiphium for hope.
Oct 2020 · 263
Malus domestica
Acora Oct 2020
Today I fill my stomach
With happiness and greed
I use you and you use me
But not just for the means
I’m here because I want to be,
Because you asked me, kind;
I savor your lips on my lips because
you asked if I would mind;
The way the empty cavity
within my chest is now close to bursting,
You destroy me and distract me,
somehow without the pain and hurting.
She teases me but it’s a welcome sensation

Apple blossom, or the flower of fresh joy, optimism, and even new beginnings
Oct 2020 · 278
Ambrosia artemisiifolia
Acora Oct 2020
Now I know that “eventually”
will turn to “Now”
and the way we can be-
hand in hand through town, or playing footsie
under the table
Strong hands, soft lips,
feminine and able-
Smiling with teeth and teasing
incessantly-
Hands on waists and watching her, existing,
being her whole self
And so lovely.
Ambrosia artemisiifolia: Love is requited
Sep 2020 · 314
Lilium candidum
Acora Sep 2020
My God
knows Love is all I seek-
Not a life of ***, hedonism,
lust, gambling, and parties-
I do want kids,
to be a wife,
To give back in some way-
To be an aid in someone’s life
and live by what He says-
So what if I’m the wife of a woman?
If our kid’s DNA’s half ours?
I don’t think He discriminates-
Pursue what’s good;
That’s what He asks.
The Church associates homosexuality with promiscuity, selfishness, plus lack of virtue and therefore fulfillment... I refuse to do one or the other. I will love women and love God.

The Lilium candidum, or Madonna lily, symbolizes Christian divinity.
Sep 2020 · 238
makes me sick
Acora Sep 2020
Boys
Nauseate
Me-
I
Cannot
So
Much
As
Imagine
Desiring
Men
Like
I’ve
Needed
Her.
Wha­t
does
that
make
me
Sep 2020 · 226
Viola sororia
Acora Sep 2020
I wished so gently for
a rush
though gentle, it was
always there
My heart constricted in a
crush
my mind rebelling
isn’t fair
I wish a woman would
approach me
Sincerely, it’s not all
about me
so help me God, it’s love
it’s love- a gentle
woman, fine and fair.
Viola sororia, a lavender-colored flower associated with sapphics.
Sep 2020 · 72
Digitalis purpurea
Acora Sep 2020
somehow the only
adolescent
stories worth telling
are reliances on someone
to *****
Digitalis purpurea, or foxglove... Insecurity.

The media chooses not to use other, more common teenage emotion in the stories they write of us.
Sep 2020 · 221
Salix repens
Acora Sep 2020
Your face lights up when you
see me in the hall
It’s such a feeling-
I confess to you, but only halfway
when I murmur, “liking girls
is all I can think about these days.”
And from you, it’s “awhh”
just like when I told you that
“I want you”
That was seven months ago
I’ve such an uncertainty.
Salix repens, or creeping willow: Love forsaken; feeling abandoned or deserted*
*key word being "feeling", because she didn't actually owe me anything.
Sep 2020 · 43
it’s visceral
Acora Sep 2020
Some days I think I possess
inside my body
unlimited possibility
While others I wish for nothing more than to discard it and move up, and away.
Sep 2020 · 174
Scabiosa japonica
Acora Sep 2020
And you're beautiful,
and that catches me,
caught in the snares of awe and empathy,
plus sweet summer associations.
If misery welcomes company,
we’d enough misery to
warrant one another’s company for a million years.
I got permission to rework @Christine Ely's piece a little bit and use it for my page. Read the original here: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3384068/cat-and-mouse/

Scabiosa japonica, also known as scabius or pincushion flower, meaning "unfortunate attachment".
Sep 2020 · 492
Black hellebore
Acora Sep 2020
If dreams be brief and solemn-sweet
content is in my making.
If dreams be drawn and rip’ed rife
more mood is for the taking.
I’s fine for week till suddenly
dreams crash upon my brow.
Awakening in my running heart
that life is just a sound.
or the nobody I’ve found.
Or all I fail to do.
Or who I want and cannot have.
In a gentle way, I shake my world
inside me when nothing’s really ******-up
Conflict is in my default settings
so I revert once the battery’s
used up.
Anxiety and insecurity in one’s ****** orientation make youth’s normal dating and socializing a different beast.

Black hellebore aka Christmas rose for anxiety, and the wish for that anxiety to be tranquilized.
Sep 2020 · 172
Viola odorata
Acora Sep 2020
Are men an acquired taste?
Women leave me
wondering intently
though I should leave a
small and short brief-moment
to remain musing.
Better slow than hasty
but she’s looking really tasty
and my heart’s all in.
A guys just not the same but
still my heart’s all in.
I’ve tried, is it
simply still too early?
Is it my youth,
are men acquired taste?
Girls make my heart skip a beat
but who’s to say that’s where I meet,
atop that certain label
simply “I’m not it”
Viola odorata, or purple violets-- Romantic love between women
Sep 2020 · 165
Ipomoea alba
Acora Sep 2020
She was a shadow
Changing shape into
women I know–
and it was less about
body language, and more
about wanting
And I leaned in gently,
and she, regretful, told me–
And I had made
one of those senseless
dream-mistakes–
Katherine and
Gracie, know that
I’m sorry,
is this how I turn out?
She’s a friend, she’s
“not into it” and I
felt
the guilt of it.
A dream I had

Moonflower, for dreaming of love.
Sep 2020 · 172
Euonymus europaeus
Acora Sep 2020
“Perdón, amor,”
I’ll call you “love”
so quick and bright
with a smile-
Don’t mean
you’ll stay
but just that “hey,
you’re someone I enjoy.”

And mention you might I
don’t see me as cute
in the way
one looks at a child-

Try as I might
I do take “no” as an answer
Let’s just speak to one another
and I’ll be content.
Euonymus europaeus, or European spindle tree= "Your image is engraved on my heart".
Sep 2020 · 155
Chrysanthemum indicum
Acora Sep 2020
Intimacy apparent in every word and gesture,
you wanted peaceable company.
I wanted flame and someone to love.
Yellow chrysanthemum= Friendship, but also illness and fading life.
Sep 2020 · 720
Lilium bulbiferum
Acora Sep 2020
Open-mouthed kisses
may turn it up
They weren’t blisses
but rather, corrupt
I needed ending
And that’s what I got
You needed something
So to you, good luck.
any other sapphic women experienced little to no attraction to a guy they were emotionally invested in? just me? ok.

Lilium bulbiferum (orange lilies): Contempt and pridefulness
Sep 2020 · 140
Platanthera cristata
Acora Sep 2020
I question myself:
Do I want a girl,
and the mind’s eye says it
could be you?
Perhaps it’s what we had,
briefly,
and the legitimate possibility
of the lovely new?
Platanthera cristata (yellow orchid): New beginnings; associations with friendship
Sep 2020 · 156
Sonchus oleraceus
Acora Sep 2020
Soft arms,
eyes, and curves,
for bellies and for little ribs,
and thighs and voices higher up,
and the comfort she gives me.
And the excitement of the experience.
And warm lips, round cheeks,
a gentle touch,
and confiding in someone who understands
a bit more.
I love you but it’s hard to fare.
Sonchus oleraceus, or sow thistle, for intimately confiding in someone.

I love it when women
Sep 2020 · 175
He was very much male
Acora Sep 2020
And very much not you.
Aug 2020 · 292
Bellis perennis
Acora Aug 2020
Venture to try her out
But venture tamped
I feel a little trapped
in what I, for myself, created-
I look straight and I’m private,
I’m Catholic and I’m quiet,
even my sister won’t acknowledge that I love women.
We’ll attend to that eventually.
Bellis perennis, or daisy, the flower of innocence, and of new beginnings.

Drafted in October of last year- I’m pleased to say I have attended to it.
Aug 2020 · 612
Paeonia lactiflora
Acora Aug 2020
“I CHOOSE TO FEEL” should be
emblazoned across my chest
like a badge of honor
reclaimed from the badge
of shame it was
intended for.
Somehow I’m simultaneously Hester Prynne and a modern woman.

Paeonia lactiflora (white peony): Shame
Aug 2020 · 180
Ranunculus acris
Acora Aug 2020
his lips on my skin...
Today I feel I want it all-
tomorrow I’ll want nothing.
And surrendering, at this point,
feels much harder than fighting.
I’ll continue
with his lips on my skin
but still; I want
girls, girls, and someone new to love.
written in December of last year

Buttercups, for his childishness.
Aug 2020 · 179
Syringa vulgaris
Acora Aug 2020
Youth desires trysts
hot blood,
and new pursuers-
She desires more ease than work
not to seek but be sought after;
And I possess Her like the rest,
somehow I’ve had two lovers-
Yet both are not who I would have picked for myself,
both male and wildly immature...

I get myself into tight spots because of this desire,
and then wish just as quick to run from the admirer,
I want, all at once,
to be wanted and to be alone,
For Logic tells me
“you need none”
but my body wants Youth’s hot fun...
Syringa vulgaris, or lilac, the flower of young love...
Acora Aug 2020
As soon as ruby lips met mine;
Contrast this opposite my own fair time
with him
I’d rather she be here. But pieces of
decision come hidden under frail silk
and I remain in bed instead of up
Acora Jul 2020
And I want to bare all
but everything’s diluted to me
The words in her pages are
sad but carefree
and I don’t know why it cannot
be that way for me...

I admit to myself I want women,
And I want her world to stop giving me ideas about mine.
And I soak in her story like a glass of fine wine.
I want girls, but this
is not where I can be.
This life as I am is not discarded easily.
title from the novel by emily n danforth
Jul 2020 · 158
Rosa rubiginosa
Acora Jul 2020
Everything *****.
I cannot simply quit a crush
that isn’t how it works.
But a part of me wants to forget it
because that means I can forget her.
I think it’s there, but buried deep-
myself I’ve been denying.
And I told her, once, I was over her
She likely thought me lying.

I decide “emotion’s up to me”,
not Out of my control,
and so far as I have let me be
Will be as far as I will go.
Rosa rubiginosa, or sweet-brier-- A wound to heal.
Acora Jul 2020
my hips, my ***, the insides of my thighs
I tried to give him tips
but they were tips he never tried
And he would always ask
(nothing wrong with consent except for here)
I told him, fine.
and that action’s
never wrong.

Then there I was, upset-
The question hit me straight-
Was there no chemistry between him and I
or was I the one to blame?
Tiffany, you useless lesbian.
Tag yourself: I’m Tiffany
Jul 2020 · 461
Coriandrum sativum
Acora Jul 2020
Tethered, you held onto me,
flame you heated in me-
subtly feeding me
more and more hope.
Today the game has died
your mouth would open wide
gaping in stark disgust-
when someone thought love was us.

Twenty-nine poems too much-
outside, I had quit after “no”-
but inside, a fledgling hope
kept fighting on.
A wish for us did survive
and the Universe urges me,
“Let that want fall asleep;”
“Please just let go.”
Coriander-- dreams of fantasy.
Jul 2020 · 163
Prunus avium
Acora Jul 2020
Unemboldened resolve
whispers wantings
to me
Now I hold back desire
held by blindness and inexperience
If I had any chance
I would ask, I’d confess-
Yet you
and I
end here.
I won’t trespass, and you ought not to know
how I want you.
White cherry blossom, or wistfulness...
Jul 2020 · 150
Tilia cordata
Acora Jul 2020
My thoughts are often consumed by
the ****** intimacy of two people;
me and Her, and Her and me.
I don’t yet know her face, but it’s
always a “her”
and I don’t know what to do with that information.
Tilia cordata, or lime blossom-- *** !
Jul 2020 · 161
Primula sieboldii
Acora Jul 2020
Subtle desperation is grimmer
than snow.
Wanting is gayer when wanting’s not broke.

And maybe I’d fall out of practice
Lull before even begun-
Fester in my own private scrutiny,
but at least I’m not longing for you.
At least I’m not chasing
the boys I’d never wanted to.
At least mine is a secret cradled,
nurtured, unknown, and safe.
Primula sieboldii, or the flower of desperation.
Jul 2020 · 110
Narcissus pseudonarcissus
Acora Jul 2020
I tested the waters,
baby girl,
and you took it in stride-
You’re a friend.
What comes next cannot be mine.
And I want to confess,
pull you close,
chest to chest,
and yes I want to talk but that’s all we do.
You’re not into the type of sweet little thing that I miss,
And I miss last summer when you gently flirted
with me
I miss the way you would glance
like I have been
I’m preoccupied, babe, take your time-
I’m not right.
When you said no, it was in six different shades.
Narcissus pseudonarcissus (daffodil): The flower of unrequited love
Acora Jul 2020
And we were talking, leaning,
and we were staring, thinking,
United in avoidance
And I was wanting
you,
longing to close the distance.
Jul 2020 · 130
Dianthus caryophyllus
Acora Jul 2020
And I dreamt of you-
in a way that meant desire
And I had just thought, too,
Why is it always men in those faded visions?
or rather, boys, because who doesn’t want a common thrill?

You got your hair colored
I have to remind myself not to occupy my time with endless thoughts of you
I almost wished that you were aware.
It’s almost a thrill how bad I cannot have you.

When I doubt myself, I remind myself,
how could it be a phase-
just curiosity-
When that same honey-colored flame
hasn’t died fully
coming up on a year?

Your hands in my hair was a thrill
oddly intimate and difficult to place
Now you’re not even around.
“You and I shouldn’t feel like
a crime.”
(Clairo)

Dianthus caryophyllus (mauve carnation): Dreams of fantasy
Jul 2020 · 149
Alba suaveolens
Acora Jul 2020
Lea, you
shared your all with me
I knew your mind, heart, insides
I wish I’d known your body
My mind wandered
when we talked about nothing in my car
last summer
I think yours did too
You told your friends about our possi
bility..

Lea you
led me on and I liked it
Played that song in the car and the chemistry was tangible
Wore the tightest top you owned
And invited me everywhere
We laid down together
and my mind whirled
I think you knew
exactly what you did to me, kitten
with a string.

Lea you
Were one of the first to know about me
I’d liked another before you
But you were my real first
And once you led my heart astray
You said I’m sorry, and went away
My sister told me you and I
were better gal-pals than girlfriends
I can’t help but think of you still,
Sometimes.
Alba suaveolens, or white rose-- for wistfulness and secrets.

— The End —