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the man with whom I am in love
gets others high in his freetime
and deals.

i wish helplessly to be his only business interest.
dealer looks at me
he makes time stand still
drilling through the barren sea I call my face
and I can tell he knows, just how much like jelly
my bones become with him standing there and how melty
the wasteland I call my heart gets: a phenomenon Id call unsafe and self betraying.
sometimes the
stars seem to clink
like glass and then fall
out of place and drop and drop
until maybe I guess they land in some
farmers field in Armenia or Laos and then
perhaps a young boy will go out to play and find
a feat that will take away his boyish charm
but oh those boyish fantasies will
soar
This is not a love poem
Or an infatuation poem
This is a mad respect poem
Not wanting to own or dissect poem
But a poem of true appreciation
For present and future enlightenment
And when the bell tolls, as expected, I imagine
an unconvincing ending and quick new beginning
fighting my instinct that tells again and again
it's just a nonsense we force ourselves to embrace
obeying an illogical prompt never once questioned
There is no full stop in time; even if you are being playful.
The entrance is wide and clear,
leading to a massive space.
I begin to walk quickly through,
craving my daily sweet taste.

Before me, are bright lights,
displaying words and colours.
Behind me, are more people,
coming one after another.

As I approach the counter,
I am greeted like a friend.
This is my second home,
so let's not pretend.

Though different faces I see,
they are all very great.
That time has come again,
I'm here for another date.

I tell them what I want,
then I wait my turn.
If they don't know already,
soon they will learn.

My name is then called,
so I grab my drink.
Finally, with my coffee,
I can wake up and think.
She tends her cactus garden,
beads of perspiration,
works with a maniacal absorption.

One of many visitors she receives
yet looking at each other's eyes
dawned this quick realization;
similar maniacal obsession and passion.

A tornado she was, self created,
in her swirl uprooted
many huge trees, even tombstones
by the sheer force unleashed,
with her poetic flourish.

Love of a crazy woman
with effervescent creative  surge,
is a magical portion
brewed by a witch ,
in her forbidden rituals, night after dark night.

Injured by conjugal lust, unrequited
prompted to walk the garden path
holding hands of lovers, one after the other,
who took her to wilderness, deeper and deeper
and at the end to a blind alley,
life was a tribal dance,
from where return was impossible.
She never had to apologize to her mate,
who for all the world to see, remained  with her
till he went behind the curtain.

Imagine a life, a walk
through a cactus garden,where sharp thorns would nip,
searing pain and bleeding has its moments of exhilaration.
Life pulsated wildly for her on such notions,
(There were many who walked with her for each adventure)

They met, poetry flowed like wine,
she had a rare warmth seen in women of such creative combinations,
she feared nothing, but  her truth made many squirm.
Midnight dances of her and her friends gypsy bunch,
attained such fame.But all ended in a great  betrayal,
she was deep down a naive woman,
craving for love, to immerse in it.

On occasions she would change identities
at will, she was one but many
there wasn't any one like her before or after.
They would walk through the witch's cactus patch,
somnambulists reciting poems,
when they are together, in private,
cactus spine criss- crossed his skin
her nail wrote poems on the back
of the lover of the moment,
each one bled like soldiers in combat.

One monsoon night brought
everything to an end,
the cactus garden was trampled by
big grey wolves, the journey
met with an abrupt end.

What is she, cactus herself,
vampire, witch, lover indefatigable,
with the heart of a lion?
Erotomaniacal  poetic surge,
yet a fantasy in flesh and blood?

**They buried her
in a cactus garden away from town
not even ten people arrived to mourn,
not even all her lovers, had time that afternoon.
Her songs of pain, pierced hearts and they
still shed tears,
cactus garden, it was---
the metaphor perfected by her life and death.
She was an enigma, as a poet reached unattinable cult status in a society so conservative;
was first to be featured by international media, from India,died the death of an unknown orphan, by the quirk of fate.
I hide behind these words,
Sometimes not so pretty metaphors
No one seems to hear me when I speak
So these are my words to keep.
Someday, someone will understand
Why there was always a pen in my hand.
Welcome to my life

(April 16, 2011)
Sometimes I feel that writing is easier than talking. I do talk a lot but I feel that sometimes verbal communication isn't enough. If you have to read words I think that it sinks it clearer. And also more meaningful
On the way down,
he remembered he'd left his bed unmade,
and a ***** coffee cup in the sink basin,
and hadn't finished the book he was reading
and would never know how it ends.

On the way down,
he pictured himself with his corkscrew curls,
and his sun-kissed skin,
and his gentle brown eyes only to be remembered
by the photographs on the mantelpiece downstairs.

On the way down,
he thought about the girl he loved,
and the moment she told him
that she did not love him back
and he would never have the chance to change her mind.

On the way down,
there was the sudden realisation that he was
falling
and he did not have time to ponder
any more.
R.I.P Elfie <3
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