Four to the right...
More of the wine tips itself
I indulge myself a little more
Not forgetting to watch you sip away
Days stressed melt with a lipstick stain
          *Click!
Healthily imprinted on the side of a glass
Eyes glowing exceptionally in the candle light
As I run my fingers through the finest
Radiant, silky hair that slips through
Trembling fingers of a man with class
          Three to the left...
S miling brightly, your lips start to beg
Ovations to success as your eyes close
Ushering the urge to lean in, I pause
Listening to your slow desperate breathing
          Click
Startled by my own confidence
Pursed lips slowly collide in fashion
I am struck by the aggression of the action
Running fingers down the back of a dress
I can feel the tingling sensation of the skin inside
Trying to scream out in needed satisfaction
          One to the right...Click!
By the pressing of your body against mine
Oscillation of rhythmic breathing ensues
Drunk off the softness of my touch
You slowly drop one ******* your black dress

     *Let Us Begin...

I suffer the effects of this love, the good
     the bad
to be sure, your thoughts do invade my mind
   so does your problems, your past
unfazed, I trudge forward, as I should
     willing to bear your weight
scapegoat? yes! packmule? yes!
    only if the open truth exists, I'll be fine
Its a sign, I've lit it brightly
   speak to me, even if its spitefully
  and I'll do what I need to do for you, my dear
                     and I'll do it rightly

For set is the pain
heart's gain
Sustained! Your a mess
I'm impressed
       unless, you pulled the 'Grand'
heart in my hand
solid as sand, brain in my chest
Walking's what my hands do best
Twisted, and no less
Fore and for
                     the four, the floor
You slammed the door, such shame
You're not to blame
It's the fairest name says the Mirror's face
       Touching my eyes in disgrace
sub-scarred face, internal fingers
elbows that linger
knees of a choir singer,
I don't trust my thinking heart
and the tongue smells ****
         Beating brain's the start of the contusion
                             I reject your insulate solution
            Pardon the confusion

Excitement, Excitement
Creeping into my head!
To sleep! To sleep!
Must find my bed!
No time! NO TIME!
I must lay my head!
Circled Red! Circled Red!
It's what the calender says!

'Morrow's break, 'Morrow's break
is too far awhile
So to sleep! Get to sleep!
So the Stars pass with'a smile
For that day is the day,
The beginning of our trial!
For our Red Letter Day
is the arrival of our child!

Sitting there holed up
in a room so warm, so soft
curled up
with the window shut
Being safe, being lost
News cast convinced
Watching others take risks
Your life is boring
and I'm convinced
you need my pity
You have to open the window
to see the real world
you have to step on your shadow
to walk in the sun
You have to let go of your pillow
to have real fun
Vicarious is a disease my friend
you live through a television set
You'll regret life's passing in the end

Somethings written
shouldn't be read
    Somethings heard
    shouldn't be said

Somethings  sometimes should  be  read
                                            by all but one
Sometimes somethings should be heard
                                         by all but none

Somethings I've written
I want you to read
Sometimes I worry about the letters
'cuz I know you'll see

Apple, oh Apple
Whatever shall I do?
All I wanted was a taste
But apparently, the worm did too....

Deep in the woods, where the lazy creek bends
is a clearing where a solemn manor stands
Wind worn bricks now a rustic brown
are tinted red in the mid-morn lown
At the bend where the water trickles so slow
a single tree stands, shading the suns glow
Its mid-autumn colors match the manor walls
as we sit beneath and watch their gentle falls
A cool breeze blows, swaying the tall green grass
rippling, like a stone tossed in a lake, with each gentle pass
Moving enough to brush back your summer hair
revealing a face so beautiful and fair

The crack of the helmets
the grunt of the men
the sound of the crowds
deafening noise ringing in his head

This was it
one last shot
his number is called
he's has to give all hes got

there's the snap;
he runs
here's the throw;
he turns

The sounds fade,
the lights dim,
the ball slows
time stopped for him

He clears his mind
and focuses on the ball
and when he grabs it
he braces for his fall

The lights grew bright
the crowd get loud
He was the hero, he thought
as he looks at the board

but to his dismay
No time left
and the score did not change

Today, today
I got the news today
A new father I am
Boy, what a wonderful day
So many things to say
and people to do...
Wait. Scratch that and reverse it.
Oh, yay!
I can't wait!
Paint the room and build a crib
And what will our parents say!?!
What should we say, and to whom?
Should we show them pictures of her womb?
Oh, hey!
Gotta buy bottles and diapers and...and...
those little cans of food...oh yeah
Got to go with the formula first.
Oh, oh and we got to get a new seat
and a car to put it in...
Wait. Scratch and flip that too...
Oh, I dare say
I hope its a boy!
I can take him to baseball games and say
'If you get real good this is where you'll play'
Or football, yes sir!
A real stud. Talk of our little town
When he gets older they'll look back to today
and point at the map to the high school
where I'm sure he'll always play...
Oh, nay!
A girl would be splendid
I'll spoil her till she's rotten
but I'll teach her the polite things to say
She'll be a scholar, a teacher, I'll mold her like clay
She'll be a princess, a leader, and speech'll be her forte
Or President, yes Ma'am
Lead this country to new places, new heights
thats right,
My daughter'll be a born leader
But first,
I'll take care of my wife all day
these nine months'll be long I hear
I'll cook for an army, despite what she'll say
because I know that as soon as she's done she'll say 'Dear...'
And I'll get her second's, or third's and I'll rub her feet
I'll wash my hands of course, and then I'll listen
Place my ear on my child to hear a kick as it plays.
Oh, I can't wait
Today, today
I got the news today
A new father I'll be
What a wonderful day!

....and Ma'am;

Do you take this man
...to love him with all you can?
...to hold him when he is sad?
...to support him when he feels had?
...to give to him when he needs a hand?
...to smile with him in the evening sand?
...to laugh with him when the joke was bad?
...to dream with him about your life plan,
       and to live with him when they don't pan?

Do you take this man
...to be your friend?
...your confidant?
...your sin
...and to be your husband?

Where does curiosity cross the line?
When did searching become sublime?
Your shifty movements all the time
cause me to search for what you hide
Is this paranoia, or am I fine,
'cuz these chills I have run though my spine
only happen when you are online

Hiding your screen so I can't see
keeping you cellphone away from me
deleted messages after I plea
new accounts without knowledge by me
What is this, who is he?
I know he's a friend, but can he be
who you think about other than me?

Is he over whenever I'm gone
Tell me I'm crazy, tell me I'm wrong
prove it to me, 'cuz I'm not that strong
the composure I hold is only a song
but it won't hide my anger and sadness for long
Why so secretive, tell me whats wrong
I need to know before my paranoia is drawn

I love you so much to do what I do
but how can I trust with these things that you skew
Searching your phone and your social accounts to
silently straining when the phone rings too
hoping to prove my fears are not true
Left to decipher if I'm crazy or if it's you
While praying my paranoid mind doesn't shine through

I called you today
while I was unzipping a suitcase
packing a past life away
and I was struggling to get through this
I listened to the phone ring
and prayed you'd answer to ease this hell
but the only voice I was getting
was your automated voice mail
A heart once ragged and tattered
was being held together with tape and glue
But you'd taken this heart once battered
and started repairing it to make it like new
So how come when the pain is getting to much
I'm still standing here all alone
left dreaming of your soothing touch?
I'll just leave you a message after the tone...

Laying in bed
restless, wide awake
staring at the ceiling
with wide eyes shut

Mind wanders
moving slowly as it sprints
wide eyed, chasing dreams
while the darkness stays put

Tossing, turning
never moving, always shifting
the mind never sleeps
while hoping it that it finds

Always dreaming
of dreaming dreams
that never come to the ones
with the insomniac minds

Down this dark and crimson road
lies the history, the past
darker times of the failing frail spirit
Strong once upon a time, but life's brambles
many sturdy thorns, poke and stab
slowly sapping the strength while turning
these lowly roads many shades of red
Memories of these pains, told by many
growing pains they said, they'll go away,
one day. but your hindsight says that
the words of the forgotten have begotten
the open wounds of the sorely mis-trodden
Mistakes mistakenly taken leaves you aching
for a way to erase such merciless memories.

I beg of you, implore you
listen to the song of the past
as painful as the sound may be, listen
look from another angle, take the positive perspective
that dark and crimson road has led you here
the crimson is from the memories past, you say
but I say its from the lessons learned along the way
Dark as it may be, it led you straight to today's light
This is not an ending for the gloom that hides your mind
Stop searching with eyes down for a spoon along a road of forks.
Look up and see that the signs are not as dimly lit as you once presumed
This is not the end of the book, for the story must continue
That crimson past is just the beginning, just the prelude.

This short little poem before work
was written without a shirt
I'm gonna be too ******* lazy
and call in sick to that crazy
So I can just lay with my baby before work

I have been told
that the evils of the world
did (not) come from an apple
that we did (not) pick from trees

I have been told
that the evils of our world
does (not) come from money
because money does (not) grow on trees

I have been told
that the evils of the children
can (not) stem from our past
as they can (not) be traced on family trees

I have been told
and I do (not) believe
because I do (not) think I can change
who plants the seeds from the trees

When the wind blows
Listen!
For the words are there
Whispering through the grass
Howling through the air

When the trees move
Listen!
For the echos are pure
Murmuring about the past
Rustling about the future

When the rain falls
Listen!
For the roar is inspired
Pounding like a drum
Ringing with it's pride

Heartaches by moonlit streets    
Two hearts walking, part ways
Both with shuffling feet
Both wishing the other would stay

Mistakes taken to heart
With fragile minds at stake
Like being lost without a chart
So words to a heart did make

Wounds too deep to mend
By a sharp tongue spoken
To a confused mind condemned
By a heart mistakenly broken

Heartaches by moonlit streets
Two hearts walking, part ways
Both with shuffling feet
And so it ends this day

An innocent brush, an accidental touch
across my skin, across my heart
and yet you are wonderfully oblivious
to the leaps in my chest, and as such
I steal another contact from your bliss
this longing is my healthy addiction
and while you don't think it's much
this addiction as gotten a grip on me
my mind is begging
my heart is aching
my soul is crying out
with heartbeats racing, you're the clutch
that keeps my mind in this constant revving
and all this is just in a heart beat, an eye blink
and to think I can get this from a single touch
when I grab your hand, and you feel it's annoying
just remember that I just need my fix
I don't want to stop this feeling, so be my crutch
help me feel this high, feel this love
knowingly or not, I want to hold your skin
so I can soak in your addictive touch

Closing my eyes, with head on a pillow
Dreaming about you, as much as I'm able
Wishing this time would speed up when I'm awake
so I can spend as much time in my dreams as I can take.

We come from different worlds
Different parts of the map
Two different livelihoods
Two different paths

Two separate childhoods
Two types of families
One; grown up too fast
One so naïve

Both playing games online
In two different places
Fate pushes introvert and opposite
To two smiling faces

One avoids mistakes
From one big one to two
One just trying to take a guess
What the other just might do

One runs away
With a tank full of gas
One sits at home
Hoping the pain will pass

Two different hearts
Tell two what to do
Both do not understand
What the other's been through

One in recovery
One drives all night
One is so confident
The other is in fright

Two different people
From two different places
Lock arms for the first time
And stare into faces

These two different hearts
Began to beat as one
Through hiccups and heartaches
These hearts produce a son

Now two families merge
Two become stronger than the sum
I'll hold you both forever, Love

This story's just begun

I toss them in
one by one
watching with sorrow
as the flames
catch the corners
of the pictures
in my fireplace
turning its happy orange glow
into a blue and green show

I close my eyes
and remember the days
where those pictures
were taken by me
Days so joyful
and I try not to think
of the sorrow they now bring

Since the day you left
our world of breathing
I have blamed others
for your sudden leaving
and as the pictures burn
I realize that I secretly
blamed me too
and then I know
that as the pictures burn
again I am killing you

I reach into the flame
and try to save the pictures
but the flames hot on my face
and it warmth warns
of the pain it is willing to inflict
I wasn't willing to burn
for you then

but I reach in anyways
because I am willing
to burn for you now
and I pull out one photo
where the edges have caught
but I smile anyway
for the second chance
to save you
even if it is
just a memory

1 part Fame
2 parts Game
3 for the party
4's just the same

5 footed chain
6 stitched pain
7 say they're sorry
8 claim insane

___
|......The.......|
|......Lock.....|
|.........is....­....|
|....Broken...|
|.......And.....|
|.......The......|
|.....­Hinge....|
|.....Swings..|
|.......Free.....|
...................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................RUN!

Here at last! O' how'd the time pass?
Nine pages on the calendar torn
'N now we're down to an hour glass!
Tipped and turned, watching grains fly;
   on the walls, toy planes stand by!

Here at last! O' where'd the time go?
It felt like seconds ticked by so fast
and yet it dragged by oh so slow!
Tipped and turned, bottles warmed and teddy bears smile;
   at this time tomorrow, these arms'll bear a child!

Runnin' away the voices in my head
Skipping through the wrinkles on this hard bed
Jumping through hoops of the 'left unsaid'
Tuck, roll, and-and run-n-n-n-n

Far away from the gaze of your unrest
Try-hard tried hard to match your best
Chased out like a King in chess
Shakin' off and runnin'

Run, Run, Run, Run
I meant no disrespect...
Would you run, run?
From feeling the kiss of reject?

(Run on. Run on. Run on. Run on.)

Runnin' away from the theories in my head
Skipping through my mind, it's on bend
Jumping through the words of what was said
Tuck, roll, and run-n-n-n-n

Far away; is your gaze that-of unrest?
Try-hard; did we try our best best?
Chased out-of mind, you in that dress
Shakin' off and runnin'

Run, Run, Run, Run
I meant no disrespect...
Would you run, run?
After your kiss I reject?
Run, Run, Run, Run
I couldn't tell what you meant
Would you run, run?
I wasn't ready for the rules that can't be said

(Run on. Run on. Run on. Run on.)

Run up the tall-ey in my...
Skipping through my mind, it's on bend
Jumping through the words of what was said
Tuck, roll, and run-n-n-n-n

Far away; is my gaze still that of unrest
Try-hard; did we try our best best?
Chased out-of mind when I saw that dress
Shakin' off and runnin'

Far away; is our gaze that of unrest
Try-hard; didn't we try our best best?
Chased out-of-mind, taking off that dress
Shakin' off and runnin'

Run up the tall-ey in my head
Skipping through my mind, it's on bend
Jumping through what your body had said
Tuck, roll, and run-n-n-n-n

I take a sip
and quickly spit
  your poisoned words
                      I can't handle it
   You make me sit
and you speak too quick
         but I'm so **** bored
                      'cuz I don't give a ****
       You speak your mind
                       and I give you time
         but I don't think I
                               can take another hit
of these ******* up lies
       that mesmerize
               dressed with lace
                           and sporting black ties
            But I'm not a twit
like those other guys
    You think you're slick
           laying it on thick
                      but this compassionate skit
           just makes me sick
and I've got a surprise
                                      you misguided little *****
See, you tore down my walls
        to rebuild it with lies
and you gave me a kick
         straight to the sides
                 But those torn walls left bricks
       scattered besides
and I've grabbed hold of a decent one
                                and I'm aiming between those eyes
So say our good-byes
                         and lets get on with our lives
             before I explode in a flurry of words
    that will leave a mark between your eyes

These are the riots of the rise
where the innocence of the youth flies
  in the face of a nation
They raise their flags as their spirits rise;
away from the innocence and towards their mindless side

A decision, to each their own mind
Do you take a step towards freed men's hell
or fall back to the child's mind?
Never this day will you be the same
and never this choice fade
   when there's none to blame

Remember this day, your daily bread
fed from your mother's plate by your father's hand
Remember the prayers repeatedly said
and pray they protect you when adolescence is dead
Give us this day, a ****** hand
and try not to stumble into the grave-digger's sand

Round, Round
Oval track bound!
Speed is the name
Engine roar the sound
Tire marks on the ground
and on the walls, the same
The thunder will astound;
Overwhelmingly loud
Bumping, Grinding,
Sponsored by fame
and money to be found
Race to first, rub and pound
A trophy to claim
But not before yellow flags
Hot fuel and orange flame
Straight away drags
Heated tempers, fingers pointing
Untamed revenge, who's to blame?
And this was just the practice rounds
Exciting, thrilling, action abound
A day at the races, Love the sound!

Sprinting to keep pace, not to win
watching as life gains a foot, a leg, a head
   this place, displaced, retrace you do beg
    Please! you plead, but life pays no heed
      but quickens its pace with a grin
       and then it happened
                                       a stumble
                    a tumble
a rumble
        trouble, doubled
                             and left with toes hanging
                                                         ­            on
                                                              ­      the
                                                       ­           edge
                                                 ­                again

Mind has already sunk,
and soon follows the heart
much worse that you were
when you made this start
victory would have been sweet
but defeat is worse than ****

              Who can help
      Who can you blame
NOBODY, IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT

f o r g i v i n g ?
o
r
g
i
v
e
n
?


You blame you,
Truth blames you,
Shame on you,
'cuz Lies do too.

                                                           Pick Yourself Up
                                                           You are the problem
                                                         ­  You are the answer
                                                          ­ You can solve them
                                                           After you kick off the boulders
                                                        ­   That hold you down
                                                           And dust yourself off
                                                           So you can clean up the scars
                                                           Left by your fall to the ground

Sometimes I wish I were a dog
What a life that would be!
I would only care about
Whatever was in front of me.
I would eat for free and ask for a snack
and I wouldn't watch my waist
or worry about my hips or back.
And when nature's duty calls
I won't really care about who can see
I will just finish up and look for tennis *****.
There will never be a time crunch
except for digging for old bones
and reminding them about my lunch.
I'll pass the time watching a bird
And nobody who sees me will look at me
and chuckle, laugh, or call me absurd.
Oh how great it would be to be a dog!
To stare at my reflection in anger
for it to only be seen as cute
while I'm convinced the shadow is a danger.
And staring at my own *** isn't conceded
as I growl at my own tail
until my energy is completely depleted.
Then I will nap where I please
and the only time I take a bath
is when I am itching with fleas.
After I'm clean then its dinner time
where I can be as picky of an eater-
as I wish, while scraps are claimed as mine.
And when I lay down for the night
I'll stay on guard on my pillow or bed
and I'll keep an eye open for any intruders insight.
*Yep! How easy a life that would be!

So sick of me
being sick of you
being sick of us
and all the things we do
Now listen, baby...
     baby
Wish it were all made up
nothing but a dream
living like a ghost
nothing's what it seems
I'm going crazy...
     baby
Want to forget the truth
starting with your name
and all the things you said
nothing but a game
Everything you're saying...
     baby
Everything I said
once upon a time
was what I believed
now its just a crime
Hope you're realizing...
     baby
These are all just tears
falling from my life
'cuz there was a day
I'd 've made you a wife
Heart's lamenting...
     baby
Gotta fix my life
gonna start right here
throw away these pictures
and crack me a beer
*Erase your memory...
     baby

They don't understand
the feeling I get
when I hear those songs
the memories that come
remembering the rights
and also the wrongs

They take me back
to a time when feelings
ran strong though my soul
and I stop what I am doing
close my eyes and remember
shuddering with chills like it's cold

They don't understand
that for every time
every moment of strife
there was a song that was playing
to remind me later
of those times in my life

Sin Sin
alone again
remember, remember
alone with him
this place, this face
the giving in
taste distaste
retracing the Sin

I call
and you rush to me
So I rush
and you calm me down
So I calm
and you sing to me
So I sing
and you dance for me
So I dance
and you call for an encore
So I call

So beautiful the sound
of the slap
as its pain insures
the existence of life

So beautiful the sound
of the screams
as its breaths explain
the pains of life

So beautiful the sound
of the cries
as its echos
breathe for a new life

So beautiful the sound
of the sobs
of the new mother
echoing in joy of her newborn's life

Why...
do you speak?
Do you like the sound
of the wind wistling
through your throat,
vibrating to make the words
that torment the ears
of everyone around?

Why...
is your hand on your hip?
Must you always show
that you know it all
flaunting your attitude
to torment the eyes
of everyone around?

Why...
do you yell over others?
Is it that you must
always have the last word
to make your point sharp
to torment the heads
of everyone around?

Why...
are you confused?
No one listens to you
'cause their ears are tired
and no one looks at you
'cause their eyes are sore
and no one gives you attention
'cause their heads ache

Why...
does no one respects you?
'Cause you are a pain!

Why?

Stop crying and stand for
Together we can fight
And when there is
No one left, then together we can
Dance

Too tired to understand
that the music inside my head
     forged nightmares on moldy bread
                         Oh look, my hand!
    Did you know that one band?
                    Wow! I found sand!
And officer, that is how it happened.