I told my love of 8 years that his dad shot his step mom and then himself today
And I feel selfish for not being okay
We haven't been together for almost 6 months now
And it's his tragedy through and through
But I love him
And it's not that I want him to need me
It's that I want to go to him
And hold him
And let him be whatever he needs to
But he hasn't asked me to come
And I'm spiraling
Hard

I love you sweetheart. I'm so sorry. But he's gone. I'm so sorry baby. I can come to you if you need me.

When I imagine
What it's like to die
I think back to when I was three
And I compound fractured my arm
Falling off of a horse

You had your truck
But we were close to home
So you scooped me up
And you ran all the way there

I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry baby. Daddy's got you. Daddy's got you.

That might have been the only time
You ever said you were sorry


I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry baby. Daddy's got you. Daddy's got you.

I just know
That if there's anything after this
Maybe even if there's isn't
After my last breath leaves me
That's what I'll hear

I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry baby. Daddy's got you. Daddy's got you.

Because I hear it
Now
In the dark

I want
To be
Dead

Everyone has a favorite ex.



Everyone is the one who got away. I'm broken as all ****. I don't know how to let go. I keep starting new problems. I'm at my very core exactly the ***** my father was and accused me of being. I wish I wasn't this way

I wish
I wasn't
This way


But I've written more poems about you than anyone I've ever known. I crave you more than a cigarette. I can't help myself. Even when we're all together I give you the look. I use the name I called you in bed. I can't sit here and pretend you don't miss me. I can't sit and pretend you don't want to kiss me. To touch me one more time. No matter how long it's been and how far we've come and how much we love each other's significant other. Regardless of circumstance. If we could do it one more time. If we could play pretend and go back just for a night. I would pick you. You would pick me. No telling. No taksies backsies. We would.

I'm proud as **** of you. I'm glad I get to be here for this.
All I wanted was to be here for this

But I would be under you in a heartbeat if you asked
If you offered
If we spent a second alone.


I love you still
I miss you

Everything is terrifying and uncertain and I just want my daddy

I miss you.
Call me baby
It's not that I want to take you.

It doesn't have to be like that.
I rooted for you so hard.

I'm still doing it.
Genuinely I love her.
I know you do too.

It's. Not. Like. That.

I'm just so ******* proud of you.
So proud of you baby.

I miss you
I miss you

Maybe I'm drunk as ****
Maybe I wish you still loved me

You want to be his friend
I want you to be his friend

She's my friend
She's so sweet

If we hadn't done what we did
I could've kept you forever











**** your mom
**** my mental health
**** that one dude
I miss you
Miss
You

I love my husband
He's never done anything wrong
I'm so ****** up
My brain is shorted out

You want to **** me?
Get a handful
Of whatever

But your time is short

You want me to love you?
Let me do that.
I'll stay for so long
Forever

Platonic cuddling
Back rubs
Daily talks
Doing anything for you

Get me naked once?
You've got six months

I want you to keep me
I want to keep you
I'd give you all the things you never had

Please
Please
Please
Please


Just like me for who I am
Because I love you