Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
173 · Nov 2018
THE SLAM CONFESSIONS P.3
Shea Nov 2018
Is it just me or
Do we see the Devil in our dreams
And think for a moment
What it'd be like under his wing,
Or it may be a stretch but
Do we ever just a look a little
For his touch cause sanity ain't enough.
Anyone else find comfort in pain
But really want to change?
But deep down inside
The pain is a part of your brain
Is the mess you made
And you're too lazy
As they say to clean it up?
Or are you so desperate to
Believe in something that
You create your own temptations
With a demon you have made
And ...

****.
169 · Dec 2018
Hungry
Shea Dec 2018
Dad, I don't really blame you
for needing a drink,
But it's 10, the bars are opening
The stores are closing
And I'm hoping
You come home soon.
167 · Apr 2021
Athene Noctua
Shea Apr 2021
I saw it in a dream
Eyes pierced at me
Feathers struck my skin
I began to believe.
Yellow sun, dripping from my gums
Life I'm sure, means more
Than ripping out my hair

Athene Noctua

Call me weak, I've risen from my grave
No longer bound by shackles on my feet
I saw it in a dream.
My eyes pierced into me,
I saw the healthy me.
166 · Sep 2022
It’s all up to you
Shea Sep 2022
And there it is again
The reckoning, the weight that’s been torched in flames and placed into my stomach
Which heat fills my throat with air and feels like fire
It is the reckoning, the consequence of my own Ill-action
My fear isn’t making reality, but the reality is that I can’t control my fear
And if the person who saved this life slips from the water between my cupped hands,
There won’t be enough to put out the fire

The reckoning
The consequence
Of my own actions
163 · Dec 2018
Jar
Shea Dec 2018
Jar
I keep it in a jar,
My last hope of growing old.
I won't let go of my jar,
For it's too precious
To forget.
161 · Jan 2022
Stay
Shea Jan 2022
You’ve got flames on your fingertips,
Water in your tongue.
You light me on fire, and put me out, love.

I fall deeper and deeper,
Hypnosis and trust.
You are love
You are patient
You are kind
You are sweet  
Releasing heat into my life
And calmness in my seas.
My breathing becomes slower,
And I’ve been on my knees.
For you hold this power over me,
Emotionally.
And it’s fine.
You are the beauty that God created
And ignoring or denying the holiness
Up above
And the saint he created
Would be nothing but ignorance.
Every inch of you is something to love
And I pray everyday that you stay.

Stay.

I feel like I’ve been waiting forever,
My soul is old.
This brief eternity hasn’t showed me half of what it has for me
But I know that in this time
I’ve been shown what love is by you.
157 · Dec 2022
Stronger than it ever was
Shea Dec 2022
Your kindness was for a reason,
So when they leave, don’t regret
How many times you said “I love you”
How you gave em all of you
How you know you must have made them feel
They needed it as much as you

I don’t need to know why,
I’ll find better love
Stronger than it ever was
154 · Dec 2018
Untitled
Shea Dec 2018
I still want to
**** myself,
This Christmas Eve.

Sorry.
Shea Oct 2018
I thought we'd grow old
As if day one never left
The last time I saw you
You were wasted,
Trying to take care of your drunk girlfriend.
We were hiding in the closet
Ironic ain't it?
It was our last day in the ville
Little did I know it'd be our last time for real.
I heard you deceased from a phone call
Not too long after Taylor went to prison
Car wreck, accidental overdose
You lost control, and lost control of your habits
Lost too many people to the drugs
Seems like these days we're out of luck
She was your last word,
And yeah she's doing fine
She's got your name on her arm
But she ain't staying out of harm
The last time I saw her she was
Working for a dollar
Doing more drugs than a ******
Tried to ruin our relationships
And left all us behind
And I find the more I think of it
The worse it feels
for an old friend to be stuck out in the ville
In the streets
While I'm trying to pay my keep
And while the drugs work no more
And sing her soul to sleep
And the valley of her aging face
Say words I can't understand
So I don't understand why people have to leave
Or die
So as you fly, remind her tonight that you're here
And make sure she's fine
Cause she has left my side.
135 · Oct 2018
Fox
Shea Oct 2018
Fox
I swallow my pride,
Followed by euphoria
It's glorious.
Speaking of it,
I've taken more than I need
And I've taken more than I should.
She asks if she can handle the seasons
of her life.
Can I?
I see shadows cross my room,
I spit my teeth in my dreams
Cause I'm nervous.
Nicotine doesn't give me the same buzz,
I've smoked too much.
My pills are running low,
I've got ten cents in my wallet.
What you want to call it,
call it.
For now,
I'll hide my addictions
with fake names
and tapes.
134 · Jul 2023
Untitled
Shea Jul 2023
Will God leave the light on for me
If I never believed?
Would he be so kind as to walk me
To where he ****** me?
124 · Sep 2023
I don’t smoke
Shea Sep 2023
Please break me
Hurt me
If you want to be mean
Be mean to me
I can take it
Just like that
I know the whole time you’ll be here
And i make you feel powerful enough to stay
Shea Dec 2018
If we're being honest,
The only thought on mind
At this point
Is suicide.

It sounds stupid,
Or selfish,
Or anything else you could call it.
There is a pressure building
In my head.
It's this feeling of regret.
It will be there every step,
And for what I do next.

I think I'm losing my faith,
No God,I know I'm losing my faith.

****, man.
111 · Sep 2023
Gutted
Shea Sep 2023
I went for a drive today
And pleaded with someone inside of me
Squeezing my arm and dragging me into
The idea that running away
would fix everything
I could have been gone this entire time,
I realized
As nobody thought to check on me
I drove down the roads I grew up on
And passed every house of everyone I’ve ever known
And knew that they could not host me
So I drove further
The beach welcomed me with warmth and
The sound of children laughing around me
Feeling the magic I lost years ago
I could have been gone this entire time
I thought
As no one looked at me twice
I walked this time, and into the water
I could have been gone this entire time, i realized as no one stopped me
96 · Jan 2024
Easy
Shea Jan 2024
Why would I choose you?
And flatter yourself under my skin
With visions of
What you think I should worship you?
Why would I choose you?
You’d never know the words
***** poets do to you
You’re not the only one
Don’t flatter yourself
With something you can touch
But will never understand
93 · Mar 2024
Untitled
Shea Mar 2024
I was made for hopeless dedication, for love that feels like poetry. And it exists because I carry it with me. It's heavy and I can't put it down.
86 · Oct 2018
Untitled
Shea Oct 2018
I am simple, may be common.
Blue eyes, brown hair.
Like a blue jay in the air.
Though I am common, it does not mean
That I will not stretch my talons,
Or spread my wings,
And fly far away from here.
Shea May 2024
Familiar sights, I'm covered in bites
and the ants crawl
and the night falls.
Spring comes, lights aspire
King set fires
October, the time of falling
Time has no meaning, it is tainted
and our lives are truly painted.
A rewrite of my favorite poem written in 2016
Shea May 2024
Haunted by ghosts of past lovers and lives
But she holds her hand in mine
And holding her now
While time seems to slow down
The sound of her snoring and deep breaths
Comforts the part of me
That I’m too afraid to dissect
I’m not afraid to show her who I am

Haunted by ghosts of past lovers and lives
Slowly we are forgetting the sins and
All the things we did to deal with these
Past lovers and lives
64 · Feb 18
My Strawberry Wife
Shea Feb 18
How pretty she is
To grow from seed
To sprout from the dirt
Into vines that bloom
And bare sweet fruit

Salicylic acids, tannins and defenses
Utilizing the rhizosphere
That’s surrounded her since birth
To blossom; to bloom
Into something she is proud of

With no one to tend to this loving seed,
Herself has created a life,
Unbothered by invasive weeds

How thankful I am
To tend to her, to know her, to love her
No longer she has to produce those defenses
As I am tending to the blossoms
So that they may bloom, and bare tasty fruit
Without fear
No invasive creatures will ever
Haunt her roots again

— The End —