breathless
it grips you with a cold blade
tight around your throat
no screams escape;
no pleas get out-

nothingness; no sound.

. . . the whispers threaten;
your pulse quickens
"I'm a failure,"
"I'll never make it."

stops. turns to:

"no one wanted you anyway,
so why are you still fighting me?"

fragmented as it may be,
you turn away; ashamed.
frightened. in pain.

but suddenly-
a voice, growing stronger through the years rages on.

"Because I deserve to not feel like this."
"Because I deserve to feel wanted."
"Because I deserve to believe the truth."
"Because I deserve to not be in pain anymore."
"Because I deserve to be happy."

Because you deserve to be happy.

I promise you deserve to be happy.

"Hi how are you?"

Well, it took everything I had this morning
to get up and leave my bed
Don't ask me if I showered
or even brushed my teeth
My reflection shamed me in the mirror
Told me I am ugly
I am fat
Couldn't stand her harsh words
Fled the bathroom after that
No makeup, unbrushed hair
Threw on a wrinkled shirt
Can't explain how hard it was to walk out the door
My anxiety is crippling.
Keep my eyes down on the floor
I stay out of strangers' way
Hoping I'll get lucky
Please no one talk to me today.
I slipped into the bathroom
Don't look into Medusa's eyes
Pushed my fingers down my throat
I didn't deserve those fries.
Anxiety, depression, an eating disorder too
I'm not doing my best
but that's not what I'll tell you.

"Fine, thank you for asking."