3am and abruptly, I'm awoken
By yet another flashback
Accompanied by a throbbing headache
Reminding me I'm broken
But that's nothing but a bed of roses
Compared to the knives I had to endure with him
Two, four, six, not even ten
Pills of acetaminophen
Put me back to sleep
In my agony I lay back
Struggling not to relive the experience
But again I feel hands that creep
And explore my unwilling body
Ripping me of my wings
Leaving me all ******
My heart's pounding
My body's burning
Oh God! Does this ever end?
I guess not
Maybe its true trauma lasts forever
Because it's been 12 months
And it's been haunting me ever since

Some waves are just so sharp that they stab the core
Of your already defective heart
Crippling and ripping you apart into teeny tiny pieces
Pain so intense that you can't feel your heartbeat
Neither can your cornea cleanse itself with tears
You zone out, You're so far gone
You're in a whole new world
Oblivious to the things around you
They say you're stronger than this
Are you?
They say this is just a phase
That would surely pass by
Will it?
I'm tired of life
I guess all I need is a little spark of hope
A light at the end of the tunnel
Perhaps then, I would reconsider
Till then, I guess it's goodbye
Till we meet again when the father calls us home

Dazzling eyes
Silky hair
And a captivating smile
But behind those eyes there's a girl
Battering emotional incontinence
Behind the silky hair
Is life not so glossy
Behind the smile there's a girl
No one knows is broken
About to errupt like a volcano
About to have yet another nervous breakdown
How sad they don't know
Look closer, perhaps you will see
The real me
The girl behind the mask
Yelp! I'm drowning
Desperate for satisfaction
Craving to breathe so desperately
Yet all I feel is the weight of water
Clogging every single orifice
Please don't be long
I just may expire
Because this girl you see
Is certainly not me

Hey, I know you
Your infectious simper
Your zestful spirit
You're an unwitting fibber
With a simulated first blush
The universe beguiled by this facade
Little one please hush
I know you
As clear as day
And I hear them all
The rumble in your sighs
The couch in your tears
And your silent cries
But in the midst of it all
I stand tall
Reaching out to you
As your first love
Echoing in your head
That all I've ever said
Shall be fulfilled
In due time
Just give the time some time
And always remember
That you're never alone
Hey, I know you
Your infectious simper
Your zestful spirit
You're an unwitting fibber
With a simulated first blush
The universe beguiled by this facade
Little one please hush
I know you
As clear as day
And I hear them all
The rumble in your sighs
The couch in your tears
And your silent cries
But in the midst of it all
I stand tall
Reaching out to you
As your first love
Echoing in your head
That all I've ever said
Shall be fulfilled
In due time
Just give the time some time
And always remember
That you're never alone

Just when I thought all was lost
There he came in plunging
Plunging into the dungeon
The dungeon of shame, worthlessness and  depression
On his wings he carried me
Lifting me high above the cloud
To his secret place he took me
Showed me how much I was endowed
Whispered into my ear
Things no man had ever said
And that was all the medicine
Needed to echo in my head
That I would always be
Far more than enough

Here I am again
In this tunnel of gloom
A place I know is no home
Only but a maze of doom
Point check
There was a spark of fire
Glimmering and flickering in the depths of my soul
Leading me back to you
With my head held up high
And my heart longing for you
I was ever ready
To let you close enough
To notice the rifts
In my defective heart
Scared you'll see the things
I so much despise about myself
Petrified at the thought
Of you walking away
Yet hoping that you'd so much adhere to what the father tells us
But you robbed me of illusion
Leaving me all torn up
I guess I'm in this alone
Someway somehow I shall elope
For I will not lose infinite hope