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88 · Sep 2020
Last Night
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
My dream last night it felt so real
The whole world seemed just right
You and I were holding hands
As we walked throughout the night

We talked, we laughed we felt the joy
Of hopeless love and bliss
And when the night came to an end
We shared a gentle kiss

I woke this morning with a smile
Expecting to see you there
But instead I got my daily reminder
That half my bed is bare

I’m thankful that at least I dream
And get to see your face
And hear your voice and touch your skin
For that, I can't replace
88 · Sep 2020
Hollow
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
This feeling inside, it’s bare and hollow
My soul is empty as I continue to wallow
Filling the cracks with sadness and regret
Constant pain and heartache, unable to forget
Your face, your scent, the feel of your skin
You are burned deep into my core, within
I guess that’s why you visit me at night
In my dreams, the only time that things can feel right
I tried to give you my entire heart
Knowing if you left I would fall apart
I had no choice, it was desperation
‘Cause I couldn’t bear our separation
But I was too late and I don’t blame you at all
This is my fault, and mine alone as I continue to fall
And my only peace is the hope that I keep
That somewhere buried within and deep
That you think of me when you fall asleep
And sometimes those thoughts may cause you to weep
Because you know too we are meant to be
And you need some time, some time to see
Some time to be free, all alone from me
But one day you may wake up and agree
That the person you want to be with is me
88 · Sep 2020
The Future
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
It’s strange to me, I wonder if you feel the same
But when I sit back and ignore the pain
I think to the future and what it will be
I still always see you, right beside me

I’ve had this image for many years
That hasn’t been washed out by all the tears
Despite being apart and all the heartbreak
I know when I see it, it’s no mistake

Your hand in mine as we travel the road
The road unknown but with love its bestowed
The path for us it's out in the distance
I know we can get there with a little persistence

So with patience I wait for you to come around
Because true love can’t be fully unwound
It will always be there, like me waiting for you
To come back to my arms and show you its true

My love for you and our souls intertwined
That thing that most people only hope to find
It’s not always clear, not always defined
But you know how it feels with your hand in mine
87 · Oct 2020
Nonstop
OJ Anuy Oct 2020
Everywhere I look
And everything I see
Reminds me our love
And how it used to be

I start each day
Looking at the sunrise
And the first thing that comes to mind
Is how I wish I could look into your eyes

In sunshine and rain
And in warmth and chill
My thoughts for you
I can't distill

I spend each day of every week
Thinking about your face
I think about the mistakes I made
The steps I can't help but retrace

And when the day ends
After the sun does set
I look to the sky at the moon and stars
And feel thankful that we met

I've come to terms with this place I'm in
That I will never stop
Thinking, loving, and caring for you
Its what I feel nonstop
87 · Oct 2020
What I Want To Say To You
OJ Anuy Oct 2020
Hey baby, I hope you are doing well
Better than me as I go through hell
I wanted to reach out, to say a couple of things
And perhaps pull a little on your heart strings

As we stand now, I continue to struggle
The grief, regret, depression I juggle
A day at a time, I keep moving along
But life without you, still just feels so wrong

I want you to smile and to know that you're happy
And I apologize if this gets a bit sappy
But its true that I love you and miss you more than ever
Searching for your love, like a pirate for treasure

I would love to talk and to hear from you
To hear about your life and everything that is new
And to tell you that I sought out some therapy
For my thoughts I needed some clarity

As I continue to focus and work on my health
I do it for us not only for myself
If you ever decide that you want to come back
I want to be ready with love to attack

But still I sit and try to respect your space
Because I don't know your thoughts and your place
But I do know now more than ever before
That the only thing I desire is the love that is yours
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
Each and every single day I start it all the same
I wake up from a dream of you hoping to see your face

The truth sets in that we’re apart as soon as I come to
The hollow pain, this can’t be right, please tell me it’s not true

I drag myself out from my bed and head straight to the floor
I pray for you, your happiness, and always something more

One more chance, an opportunity,
To show you what you mean to me

“Show her my love, show her that I care
Show her, no matter what, I always will be there”

I go about my day’s routine, thinking of you always
Working on another poem to get me through the days

The day wraps up, before I end, I head back to the floor
“Thank you for my blessings, but I must ask for one thing more”

“Let me wake tomorrow with her laying by my side
And every day from that point on, you’ll forever be my bride”
86 · Oct 2020
A Month
OJ Anuy Oct 2020
A month today since we had last spoke
Nothing has changed, my heart is still broke
I reached out today just say hello
So that my love for you can continue to show

But you left me hanging here, all alone
While I spent the day staring at my phone
Hoping to hear that you're doing well
Praying that last talk wasn't a final farewell

But it seems it might be the end of the road
Though I won't lose hope that again we may glow
But the future looks bleak there's no denying
Despite my love for you and all the crying

So for now I will say, I'm sorry we're here
This truly has been the worst ******* year
But perhaps the future may have some love left in store
Even more than we ever experienced before
86 · Sep 2020
Prayer of the Day
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
How can I find the words to say to you?
After all the ups and downs we’ve been through
Together apart like a true work of art
Our love tells the story from the deepest part of the heart

It hasn’t been perfect, I’ll admit that
Not void of challenges we’ve had to combat
But as I sit and think for another day
There’s no one’s love for which I’d rather pray

As I did today and the day before
And will tomorrow from my floor
I’ll thank god for introducing us, first
And the next part I have rehearsed

I tell him how much you mean to me
And everything I love about your personality
And talk about how amazing you are
And how none of my feelings change from afar

I thank him for the last 5 years
The laughter, the kisses, and even the tears
I acknowledge how much you’ve helped me grow
And that you’ve been the most important person I’ve known

And then I pivot from all the blessings
And address the thing that is far more pressing
As my voice will crack and lip will quiver
I ask for your love could he please deliver
I explain again you are my soulmate
And what I would do for one more date
And once I finish professing my love
I kiss my hands and look to the heavens above

And ask he deliver a message to you
Of course, it something you already knew
I ask that he tell you I miss you so
I love you more than you may ever know

But I know there’s a plan, for us to unite
You may soon agree that I was right
And that’s what I pray for and try to foresee
That day that you remember it’s always been me

And when you come back, I’ll be lying in wait
Nervous and excited for our last first date
But as soon as our eyes lock and our gaze is sustained
We will remember that our has always remained
85 · Oct 2020
True Love
OJ Anuy Oct 2020
I would wait at least a year or two
Or even more to be with you
Give you the time and space you need
To do all that you need to do

I hope you don’t forget my love
My care, my support, you’re far and above
The most important person that exists in my life
And even now when I dream, you become my wife

If you only knew how I felt today
What I tell to God every time I pray
How my poetry explains that I’m distraught
Maybe you would give it a second thought

And then I could show you for the rest of time
How happy and thankful I am that you’re mine
And I’d show it in a different way each day
For this opportunity, is all that I pray

The chance to show you my love again
No matter the place, just say where and when
And I’ll be there full of love for you
That’s how I know that my love is true
83 · Oct 2020
Moving On
OJ Anuy Oct 2020
Moving on, a little bit more each day
And as time goes on, my heart continues to decay
But part of this growth, I keep holding on
To a small part of you, that I can't let be gone

This one little part. This minuscule bit
This attachment to you from how we fit
I will never let it go. That I'll admit
And hope that one day, my love, you'll permit

And the part of you that I take with me
Replaces the piece that that used to be "we"
The part of my heart that I gave to you
That I hope, forever, you will hang on to

Forever incomplete, forever connected
Two parts of our hearts, exchanged, and infected
Infected with the love that two soulmates can share
The way that only best friends and lovers can care

The point of these words is not to get you right back
I know that right now, it would feel like an attack
But simply to tell you from the bottom of my heart
That I'll be ready to love you when you're ready to restart
83 · Oct 2020
Tattooed On My Heart
OJ Anuy Oct 2020
No matter the distance or time apart
Nothing will remove this mark from my heart
A combination of letters, that to me, looks like art
Your name, my love, will never depart

The needle and ink that spells out your name
And love that will burn like an eternal flame
Just grows each day without any shame
And I only hope that you could feel the same

The place you hold inside of me
Its permanent for all to see
Look into my eyes, they won't disagree
But my love for you, they will decree

Love that has stayed and always remained
Over time has sustained and steadily its gained
Power and strength not to be restrained
Because deep to my core, my love for you is ingrained

No matter what you need, the time or place
I will always be there for your embrace
But for now I will try to give you your space
With hopes that one day you want to see my face

And on that day I promise to be there
No matter the problem, I simply won't care
Even if its only a moment we share
It will have been the answer to my single prayer
79 · Sep 2020
Numb
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
Today’s one of those days, that just feels so numb
In so many ways, just down in the dumps.

I’m missing you  and what you would say
How you’d make me laugh. How you’d make my day.

If I could see your face or even just talk
Maybe share a meal or go for a walk

I’m sure it would help to get me to smile
And maybe laugh a little for the first time in a while.

Instead we’re apart, no contact at all
What I would do, to receive your call.

That you miss me too and this isn't working out
That we should be together, without a doubt.

And that will be the happiest day I’ve had
The joy will outweigh all of the recent bad.
74 · Sep 2020
The Wait
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
If there is life that you want to live
I would wait forever and still forgive

I don’t care if I’m plan B, or C, or after Z
If there are people you want to see
As long as you eventually get to me
I’d be happy to be patient, indefinitely

To me, there is only one path I see
It starts and ends with you and me
So if I need to wait for you
Until you you recognize it too
Then wait, I shall, as long as it takes
Despite each days endless heartbreaks
It will all be worth it, hopefully, soon
When our love reunites in harmonic tune
74 · Sep 2020
Withdrawn
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
Another week has come and gone
And more and more I feel withdrawn
But not from you or how I feel
Withdrawn from life and what is real

I spend all day looking at my phone
Hoping hoping to hear from you alone
Daydreaming of you and what the future could hold
What our lives would be like after we grow old

That call or text, it hasn’t come
As I spiral down in gloom and glum
But without hope, I am not
Because I believe you haven’t forgot

About our love and chemistry
And you know just what you mean to me
So when you’re ready to come on home
My mind will no longer roam

In thoughts of what could have been
And instead will focus on the life we’re in
And how we love deep down, within
So that our forever can begin
73 · Sep 2020
Do You?
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
Do you love me? Do you miss me?

Do you spend your days dreaming
Of a time when life had meaning
Do you spend your nights thinking
About how it could have been
Does food have any flavor
Or is it simply bland nutrition
Does music have a melody
Or is it a constant din

Does sunshine bring you any warmth
Or does your skin stay cold
Does the night sky bring you peace of mind
Or do you reflect on times of old
And do you feel some happiness
smiling from ear to ear
Or do you wear a mask and say
“Everything is good here”

Because I love you and I miss you
and those things, I do
I’m lost at sea without a course
No captain; that is you

I try to keep on moving
but there’s one thing that I know
There no one I’d rather be with,
no place I’d rather go

With you is where my soul belongs
I know that in my Heart
Not seeing you is killing me
I can’t bear to be apart
You’ve been my one since early on
if I knew it or not
I love you and I miss you and
you’ll always have my heart
Love, Romance, Heartbreak, Sadness, Hope
66 · Sep 2020
Today
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
Today feels like a better day to me
Not that I’ve moved on, or let go, or given up hope
In fact it’s the opposite…
Weird, I know.

I woke up today, with this feeling inside
A hunch, no other way to describe
That you were coming ‘round, thinking about me
And for some reason I felt it, you wanted to see:

See how I am, and how I’m adapting?
Have I taken this in stride, how am I reacting?
Am I happy and strong, going on without you?
We both know, any joy I show, I’m completely acting.

I’m empty without you, completely hollow
And trust me, alone in my sadness I wallow.
And most of the day, my tears I swallow
Because my love and loyalty for you, I follow.

So there’s the answer to your question, I hope
I’ve not moved on, I continue to mope.
So please, if you are wondering if you should reach out
Yes, please do it, without a doubt.

My heart would jump and skip a beat
The shock and awe would knock me out of my seat
My joy and happiness would not be so discrete
Hearing from you would be the sweetest treat.

So hopefully it comes but maybe it won’t.
If you have reservations, I urge you please don’t.
Nothing has changed, I still love you the most
And still dream of adventures from coast to coast.
Love, Romance, Hope, Heartbreak
62 · Sep 2020
That Night
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
Sleep doesn’t seem to want to find me tonight
Instead my thoughts keep going to that special night
Maybe my favorite night we spent together
One that I will always remember forever

October nineteenth, twenty-eighteen
I’ll remind you of the romantic scene
The most beautiful night
I may have ever seen

Beneath the Arc De Triomphe we stood
Watching cars circle ‘round the neighborhood
The air was cool and the sky was dark
And up the arc we began to embark

Climbing up the stairs, you didn’t feel well
I saw in your eyes, you wanted the leave
But on the way up I tripped and fell
And somehow it knocked you out of that spell

And so we got to the top and what did we see
The Eiffel Tower, the skyline and the rest of Paris
The city of love all surrounding us
The feeling was palpable, we didn’t need to discuss

And on I could go, for hour and hours
Describing that night and the feeling it empowers
That’s why I take it wherever I go
A photo in my wallet that I never show

Which helps to remind me of the greatest night
With the greatest person, my shining light
Your hands in mine as we embraced in the chill
For that moment, life was completely fulfilled
57 · Sep 2020
Gone...
OJ Anuy Sep 2020
What to do when your soulmate is gone
Give up, lay down, and cry 'till dawn?

At was all my fault ~ That I'll admit
All she wanted was for me to commit

Having a bad week I said, "I don't know"
No wonder she said, "Okay, I'll go"

What to do now, all alone
Sadness; no chance to atone

"But please baby, just give me one more chance?"
"Not happening, buddy, you took your stance"

Now over it is and likely for good
was there something to learn ~ I wish I understood
I pictured us together; saw the neighborhood
Man and wife, in parenthood

— The End —