This may be the last poem I write about you
But that doesn’t make these words any less true
My therapist says it could help me let go
To write about other things that I know

In the hopes that it could help me to grow
Away from you, despite my love that does flow
I still just want one thing in my life
It’s what we always talked about, you and me, husband and wife

It just feels so wrong to sit and let you go away
Without fighting more, urging you to stay
But the truth is, I said all that I need to say
And there’s nothing I can do if you want to end this way

I can only hope it’s like the saying to some degree
“If you love her, set her free, if she returns if it’s meant to be”
Perhaps in some time you will realize the fact
That this current breakup isn’t out love’s final act

That’s what I pray for each and every day
If I saw you tomorrow it’s what I would say
You are my world and my moon above
My first, one, and only true love

I move on, each day, a little more
In my heart, I feel, I'm going to war
Split down the middle, deep to my core
Filled with feelings that I can't ignore

Memories, of how it was before
A life that we loved to explore
Adventures that we don't have anymore
And a relationship that I hope to restore

And these feelings I have, pull in opposite ways
As I live my life in a constant haze
Trying to find the right path for me
For my happiness, health, and sanity

One part of me wants to fight for you
To show that my love is strong and true
While the other part, wants to listen to you
And move on with life and find someone new

At the end of the day, its always been you
The woman of my dreams, in the future I view
So if you come around and come back to me
I'll drop it all, and welcome you happily

Baby, I need you to answer me
The place I’m in just isn’t healthy
If you want me to continue to fight for you
Trust me, I love you and that I will do

I continue to hold on to a sliver of hope
It’s my personal way that I continue to cope
I will always love you and give you my time
The mountain to your heart I desire to climb

But if there’s no chance or hope for us
That’s something that we need to discuss
And trust me I’m not trying to make a fuss
But we deserve to be happy, both of us

I hope it’s no secret it’s always been you
The one to whom I want to say, “I do”
I’m sorry again for ever causing you pain
But despite the bumps, in love I remain

And I hope one day, these words you will read
And understand the extend that I currently plead
For you to allow me to love you again
As long as it comes, I do not care when

This hurt, this pain that I currently feel
It's so severe, impossible to conceal
I took another leap and confessed my love
Hoping I'd get some help from above

But apparently you didn't want to respond
Just ignored my words, and our previous bond
I can't understand why you won't acknowledge me
Even just to say, "It can never be"

Instead you allow me to try and try again
Hanging on to false hope until, I don't know when
And now you know that you take over my days
Thinking of you and missing you, and imagining your gaze

But still I remain hopeful, filled with faith and prayer
That one day again, an adventure we'll share
You will always have my love and a piece of my heart
No matter the distance or the time we're apart

So please take your time, and consider my love
I know you and I can still fit like a glove
And when you come around, please come and find me
Because by your side, is where I'll always want to be

I'm out of moves, I'm out of plays, I don't know what to do
I have to take, just one more leap, and dive right after you
It may not work, I may not land, I may just crash and burn
But you must know that for your love, I constantly still yearn

A completely direct, forward, and honest expression
Of your lover's deepest, truest, confession
Of how I see our future together
Side by side on an adventure, forever

So I hope and pray, every single day that when I eventually say
How much I still love and care for you, you won't push me away
You'll give me the chance to show you my love,
As we grow to together every single day

And I know the odds are not in my favor
And I'll likely be stuck with the memories I savor
But still I must try and explain to you
That I will always love you and want to be with you too

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes
And to this feeling I have, that rule applies
Without you here in my life, by my side
A part of me and part of my heart has died

And for months now I stay, memories flashing through
Of times we spent spent together, just me and you
From the beginning when we met and were flirty and cute
Through the times that our love was strong and resolute

I can’t stop the memories that flash through my head
Even the ones that I know I will dread
About times that there were things that I wish I said
Or wish that I acted differently instead

I’m thankful at least that these memories I possess
They help me feel a connection, I will confess
And my dreams every night that we spend together
Remind me why this storm I must weather

You’re the love of my life that’s gods honest truth
The love that one finds at the end of their youth
The love that has driven me to grow and mature
So I can be the man you deserve, who’s love will endure

My sweet love I want to call you soon
And tell you that you’re still my moon
Shining bright above the dark night sky
As the saying goes, the apple of my eye

I want to tell exactly you how I feel
And explain to you that this is real
Our time together flashes before my eyes
No longer, can this love disguise

Our future together I see it clear
A new beginning I know is near
Living for you, forever my dear
Whatever you need I’ll always be here

And I can only hope you feel it too
When you close your eyes and imagine the view
What the future will hold and who will be there
A life together we are meant to share

Everywhere I look
And everything I see
Reminds me our love
And how it used to be

I start each day
Looking at the sunrise
And the first thing that comes to mind
Is how I wish I could look into your eyes

In sunshine and rain
And in warmth and chill
My thoughts for you
I can't distill

I spend each day of every week
Thinking about your face
I think about the mistakes I made
The steps I can't help but retrace

And when the day ends
After the sun does set
I look to the sky at the moon and stars
And feel thankful that we met

I've come to terms with this place I'm in
That I will never stop
Thinking, loving, and caring for you
Its what I feel nonstop

"Fight for your dreams
and your dreams will fight for you"
A quote that I read
And what I want to do

But my dreams are of you
And what our life will be like
When, one day again
Our love will strike

You're the woman of my dreams
You always have been
Just thinking of us
And our future, I grin

So for now I will fight
Fight from afar
But still I just know
You're my shining star

And because of this fight
And all of my prayers
I believe that this dream
Has support from upstairs

Just know that this day
And all those before
And all those to come
My love, I can't ignore

And that's why I fight
And continue to believe
That one day my dream
You and I will achieve

Today I don't feel like moving on
I feel like standing still
I feel like digging in my heels
And showing you my will

I feel like saying all the things
That are racing through my head
Replaying all the conversations
And things I should have said

But I know that at this moment in time
Telling you these things
Will certainly not bring you back
Only sadness and pain it'll bring

So for now I continue to give you space
And hope that you are well
With the hopes that one day, someday soon
My love for you, I'll tell

But I'll leave you now with this tidbit
Of what I'm feeling now
I love and miss you more than ever
And will forever, that I vow

Moving on, a little bit more each day
And as time goes on, my heart continues to decay
But part of this growth, I keep holding on
To a small part of you, that I can't let be gone

This one little part. This minuscule bit
This attachment to you from how we fit
I will never let it go. That I'll admit
And hope that one day, my love, you'll permit

And the part of you that I take with me
Replaces the piece that that used to be "we"
The part of my heart that I gave to you
That I hope, forever, you will hang on to

Forever incomplete, forever connected
Two parts of our hearts, exchanged, and infected
Infected with the love that two soulmates can share
The way that only best friends and lovers can care

The point of these words is not to get you right back
I know that right now, it would feel like an attack
But simply to tell you from the bottom of my heart
That I'll be ready to love you when you're ready to restart

I don't fear much as the days go on
I don't have much to lose
I've already lost the most important thing
Without you, I have the blues

But there is one thing that keeps me up at night
One thing that I truly fear
That we've reached the point of no return
That our future is unclear

I live with faith and firm belief
That one day again, we'll share
But I fear now more than ever
For our love, there's no repair

I hope one day you'll come around
And come back into my world
And when you do my love for you
Will again be fully unfurled

But I fear that you wont let yourself
Give in to our eternal fate
I fear our love has run its course
And there will never be another date

I hope to God that its not true
Because I'm stuck and lost without you
Without your love and presence here
I simply haven't a clue

So take your time and walk the path
That takes you back to me
And I'll be waiting here for you
Whenever. Patiently.

For the first time, today, I found a moment of peace
Thinking about you and me and how the future will be
With the faith and belief that our love will increase
Until the end of time when there's just you and me

This feeling I had comes from faith and belief
And this feeling and belief gives me certain relief
This feeling inside that I know our fate
Knowing that one day again we will go on a date

Until that day comes, I know it'll be rough
But the knowledge of our fate will remain enough
And with faith and strength I will carry on
To keep me going until fate comes upon

Each day there's something new
There something else I want to say
Sometimes just that I love and miss you
Sometimes what happened that day

I've tried to fill the void you left
To fill that hole my life has missed
I've tried to replace you with other people
With family, friends, and a therapist

But nothing can ever come close to you
And how you made me feel
The love and support your showed to me
It was honest, true and real

I don't know how to carry on
Without you here with me
Without you by my side each day
It makes me want to flee

It makes me want to pack my bags
And head off in the night
Never to return to this life
Simply, vanish out of sight

And the only thing that keeps me here
For at least another day
Is the hope that you still care for me
"I miss you," you might say

If one day soon I have the courage
To go off, not to return
Its not that I lost any hope
But that I couldn't handle the burn

The fiery pain of loving you
And missing you every day
The grief, regret and torture
That, with me, will always stay

Hello my love, my angel, my queen
Two years ago, tonight, was the greatest night I’ve seen
So beautiful and perfect, it could have been a dream
I have never been happier, my joy was supreme

The look in your eyes, the glare, the gleam
Thinking about it now makes me want to scream
How happy we were October Nineteen
During the year of Twenty Eighteen

Do you remember the night, do you have a clue?
Do you remember the beauty as we took in the view?
The sparkle of the Eiffel Tower at the top of the hour
More beautiful than the freshest flower

I remember than night like it was yesterday
I remember wishing, in that moment to stay
I remember the peace as the world went away
As we looked out over Paris and took in the display

That night as we cuddled and fell asleep
I couldn’t help but gently weep
For the feeling I had was so supremely deep
Your love, I knew then, I desired to keep

And how far I did stray from that moment in time
To let you go, I consider a crime
To be with someone who makes you feel sublime
Which is why I must write and continue to rhyme

In the hopes that one day we can return to the Arc
And again look out at Paris in the dark
On a new adventure we would embark
And this time, forever, we’d leave our mark

No matter the distance or time apart
Nothing will remove this mark from my heart
A combination of letters, that to me, looks like art
Your name, my love, will never depart

The needle and ink that spells out your name
And love that will burn like an eternal flame
Just grows each day without any shame
And I only hope that you could feel the same

The place you hold inside of me
Its permanent for all to see
Look into my eyes, they won't disagree
But my love for you, they will decree

Love that has stayed and always remained
Over time has sustained and steadily its gained
Power and strength not to be restrained
Because deep to my core, my love for you is ingrained

No matter what you need, the time or place
I will always be there for your embrace
But for now I will try to give you your space
With hopes that one day you want to see my face

And on that day I promise to be there
No matter the problem, I simply won't care
Even if its only a moment we share
It will have been the answer to my single prayer

Saturday night, not out on the town
I’m home alone wearing a frown
Beneath the weight of my pain I drown
Missing your laugh and face around

When will this change? I do not know
When will I be able to let you go?
And move on with life and start to grow
Away from my feelings that always flow

I want this pain to cease and stop
But still I think of you nonstop
Afraid to let you out of my mind
In case love for me, you’re able to find

But I owe it to myself to go and try
Because the odds are poor, I cannot lie
But inside there’s a thing a can’t deny
That I’ll love you until the day I die

Today was a day filled with more of the same
Struggling alone with the hurt and the pain
In love with you I still remain
Hoping to return to your life's campaign

The conflict within, playing a mental game
The heat of my love a never ending flame
And the rain of this pain as it tries to contain
My hopes and prayers to return to your domain

To let you go, the flame must go out
But for now the inferno remains ever stout
And from the ash my hope is a blossom will sprout
And grow into a tree of love throughout

With bark a strong as a diamond shell
To protect us from this current hell
Of being apart and feeling unwell
But will grow with our lives and our love to propel

I get your message the silence is deafening
That doesn’t mean my love is lessening
Or that my heart will stop it’s deadening
But perhaps this is a day of reckoning

I know today like I knew before
There may never be one that I’ll love more
But from this point on I will try to explore
And perhaps my happiness I can restore

And who knows what the future will hold
A mystery that is yet to unfold
Perhaps in months or years, I’ll hold
Your hand again, ‘till we grow old

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope
But for now I’m trying not to mope
I’m looking for ways that I can cope
Otherwise I’ll drive myself to the rope

You broke my heart again this week
As this pain and hurt has reached its peak
When we broke up you made it clear
You said you cared and held me dear

Yet yesterday when I wished you well
And explained my struggle, that I'm going through hell
You still decided to not even respond
When I reached out hoping to correspond

I know in the past I've done you wrong
But after we loved and cared for so long
How could you leave me out alone?
That's not the girl that I've loved and known

The girl I love has empathy
Kindness and a heart, strong as can be
The girl I know wouldn't leave me in the cold
When I just wanted to tell you my love I still hold

But the strange thing is, this doesn't change a thing
While I'd like to move on, we weren't just a fling
We were much more than that, many years together
And through how many storms did we fight and weather?

There is no easy path for me to let go
Because through this pain, there is one thing I know
That I still love you, despite all the hurt
Despite all my efforts for my love to divert

Its all about you, it always has been
That'll never change, it is too deep within
I love you my angel, to the end of time
And still I pray, one day you want to be mine

Today could be the day, that I reach out and say
"I love you and miss you" and continue to pray
That you feel the same and think about me
That I'm the one in your future that you see

It scares me to death that you may shoot me down
But what have I to lose, in my tears I drown
It's not like rejection can make this much worse
But if there's a chance for this feeling to reverse

I owe it to us and to me to go out
On a limb, my true feelings I simply must shout
And perhaps you still may not even respond
But at least you will know, I still feel a bond

As I always say, its always been you
Through the good times and bad, its always been true
And as we proceed on paths split apart
Its more apparent than ever, inside of my heart

That the one thing I want and need on this earth
Not money, not cars but something with worth
Its only your love and your presence with me
So together we'll stay, for eternity

I struggle now, worse than before
Sliding down, falling through the floor
Reaching for your hand to keep me at bay
Hoping that you want me to stay

I saw you post an Instagram
and of course you look so great
I can't imagine it would be hard
for you to find a date
I hope that somewhere deep inside
you aren't ready yet
Because you think there is a chance
my love you won't forget

And so I cry and miss you so; thinking day
About our time together and how thankful I will stay
The greatest highlight of my life has been our love's ballet
And for another pirouette together, I do pray

Hey baby, I hope you are doing well
Better than me as I go through hell
I wanted to reach out, to say a couple of things
And perhaps pull a little on your heart strings

As we stand now, I continue to struggle
The grief, regret, depression I juggle
A day at a time, I keep moving along
But life without you, still just feels so wrong

I want you to smile and to know that you're happy
And I apologize if this gets a bit sappy
But its true that I love you and miss you more than ever
Searching for your love, like a pirate for treasure

I would love to talk and to hear from you
To hear about your life and everything that is new
And to tell you that I sought out some therapy
For my thoughts I needed some clarity

As I continue to focus and work on my health
I do it for us not only for myself
If you ever decide that you want to come back
I want to be ready with love to attack

But still I sit and try to respect your space
Because I don't know your thoughts and your place
But I do know now more than ever before
That the only thing I desire is the love that is yours

I don't hate you for not wanting to be with me
I don't even blame you because it's easy to see
I'm to blame for this hurt and this pain
And that's why it definitely won't cease and won't wane

In fact it's the opposite, I love you so
I love you and miss you more than you could know
And my heart is with you more than ever before
As i erode from inside, deep down in my core

When I look in the mirror, I hate what I see
I hate how my life has turned out to be
I hate that you are not a part of my days
And that's why I continue to live in this haze

The one thing that keeps me from staying in bed
From wishing that I would just simply drop dead
Is the hope that you gave me, that there may be a day
That you have a change of heart and will say:

"I miss you too and I want to be with you
And after some time it set in, that it's true
That you are the one, it's always been you
I want you in the rest of my life too"

So each day I wake from a bad night's sleep
And pray for you and for us and I weep
And hope that the future will bring your love back
The one thing I crave and that my my life lacks

I struggle now and every day
And I wish I didn't feel this way
A part of me is gone and dead
Filled with sadness and grief instead

The spiral down has not been slow
Deeper and deeper into depression I flow
Without your love and presence here
My mental state grows more severe

But yet I hope more than ever before
That eventually our love will restore
And when I reach out to say hello
You will still care and your love will show

How special you are, its hard to say
Without your love, I continue to decay
But still there's nothing I wouldn't do
To be together again, just me and you

The finest soul that there ever was
Your presence gives me the strongest buzz
Stronger than ***** or drugs ever could
That's why this long, my love has withstood

Right now the withdrawal is killing me
Craving, itching for your face to see
For your love to feel all around me
The one way to, again, feel happy

Did you know that I still dream of you?
And every day pray its not true
Hoping that there has been some mistake
That every night I stay awake

Thinking of you and if you're well
Hoping this wasn't a final farewell
But rather just a "see you soon"
That one day you may change your tune

That you will say you want me back
And while our relationship has a lot to unpack
You see a future for you and I
And I agree as a tear falls from my eye

You will always be my number one
Until the end when life is done
There will never be another to capture my love
The way that you have, so far and above

I miss you now more than ever before
And being apart hurts me to my core
I'm caught between a rock and a hard place
The decision to reach out again or give you more space

I miss you so much and what you would say
How you'd joke around in your cute, special way
I miss how you'd smile when I'd say "I love you"
And how you'd pretend to still play it cool

I still think of you throughout every day
Every moment I think and wish we did stay
Together as one, together in life
together in love; Eventually husband and wife

I’m sick and I’m suffering, I struggle every day
I’m missing the one thing for which I always kneel and pray
Your love, your care, your smiling face
The lack of which, puts me in this place

I’m sick, I can’t stop thinking of you
I struggle every day just to make it through
I’ve come to terms that you’re my one
The person with whom, I belong when it’s done

But the pain and struggle, it comes from the fact
That, right now, you don’t feel the same way back
Maybe one day, you’ll feel that way again
I wish I could know that it would happen, and when...

I know what I want, and what I want is you
Whatever it takes, what I need to do
However long it is, that I must wait
Us together just feels like fate

But temptation comes, it always will
Tempting me with a different thrill
Today it showed its ugly face
But nothing could convince me to replace

My desire and love and loyalty to you
Regardless of what I will go through
That loyalty and love will never waver
With the hopes to one day be your savior

I would wait at least a year or two
Or even more to be with you
Give you the time and space you need
To do all that you need to do

I hope you don’t forget my love
My care, my support, you’re far and above
The most important person that exists in my life
And even now when I dream, you become my wife

If you only knew how I felt today
What I tell to God every time I pray
How my poetry explains that I’m distraught
Maybe you would give it a second thought

And then I could show you for the rest of time
How happy and thankful I am that you’re mine
And I’d show it in a different way each day
For this opportunity, is all that I pray

The chance to show you my love again
No matter the place, just say where and when
And I’ll be there full of love for you
That’s how I know that my love is true

Another week, and now a month
Since we have been apart
And not a single thing has changed
How I feel in my heart

The fact remains day after day
That I want nothing more
Than another night to share our love
Just like it was before

Not only did I lose your love
My partner to my core
But I lost my best friend too
And that hurts even more

This pain, the void inside of me
I don't think it will cease
As time goes on I've noticed
It continues to increase

My only hope is that you think
And one day change your mind
My love for you will still remain
Its how I am defined

A month today since we had last spoke
Nothing has changed, my heart is still broke
I reached out today just say hello
So that my love for you can continue to show

But you left me hanging here, all alone
While I spent the day staring at my phone
Hoping to hear that you're doing well
Praying that last talk wasn't a final farewell

But it seems it might be the end of the road
Though I won't lose hope that again we may glow
But the future looks bleak there's no denying
Despite my love for you and all the crying

So for now I will say, I'm sorry we're here
This truly has been the worst ******* year
But perhaps the future may have some love left in store
Even more than we ever experienced before

Your big brown eyes, how they fit your face
How they tell your story and they show your grace
I could look in those gems and the world would be gone
Absorbed by your gaze, my life is redrawn

They tell a story of love and adventure
Not without pain, but never surrender
The story of an, angel, a queen, a moon
A story I hope to be rejoining soon

What I wouldn’t give, to see those eyes one more time
You name the crime or the mountain to clime
To get lost in your gaze, and see the world through your scope
For it to happen again I can only hope

But hope I do, day after day
“Please, let our paths reunite,” I pray
Perhaps it will work, and we can gaze together
But this time our gaze, will be together forever

The hardest part of these days
Is that everywhere I go and everything I see
Reminds me of you, in so many ways

The beauty of the city, when I walk out the door
Shining bright for me to see
Reminds me of what we had before

I avoid at every cost, the places that we went
It will just further my fall
Into this deep dark descent

Of missing you and loving you as much as ever
I’m holding on for dear life
If you come back, whenever

My hope is strong as is my resolve
Because I know in my heart
This love will never dissolve

So I fight through the pain and embrace the struggle
With the hope and belief
We may have another snuggle

But until that day, the days will remain dark
Until you return
And on our next adventure we embark

The state I’m in, is one of torment
One of agony and grief, filled with regret

A person can have sixty thousand thoughts a day
And all of mine, have to do with you, some way

I dream of you all day and night
Reliving memories and future delight

But sleep never comes, I can never get rest
I guess that comes from a soul that’s possessed

Possessed by a lover that doesn’t want me
And depressed because you want to be free

But even still, with all this pain
Deep in love with you, I remain
Even more now, I can’t explain
Being apart is simply driving me insane

There may be a day, that sleep comes again
That food regains flavor, I just wonder when?

I fear it may be, only when you return
That then, this sadness and pain I’ll unlearn

That with sharing a bed and a quiet meal
My heart and soul will start to heal

But until that day, I continue to yearn
For the day that our hearts can resume their loving burn

Do you believe in ESP?
The connection of two souls
That some people have a connection
that makes two parts a whole

Do you believe our souls are aligned?
And that sometimes we can feel
What is on each other’s mind
And it turns out to be real?

I never really thought about it
but I think it may be true
I think I could sense how you feel
It’s part of me and you

And at the moment, I can’t say why,
But I feel this way inside
I feel that you are thinking
And I’m somewhere on your mind

I hope you know I love you
And if you just want to reach out
There’s nothing that would make me happier
I know that without a doubt

I’ll try to keep my distance
At least for a little while more
But I face inner resistance
Staying apart, further opens this sore

It resides inside the center of my heart
The part you took with you
A wound that only can be fixed
By your love if it’s renewed

The hardest part of these days
Is that everywhere I go and everything I see
Reminds me of you, in so many ways

The beauty of the city, when I walk out the door
Shining bright for me to see
Reminds me of what we had before

I avoid at every cost, the places that we went
It will just further my fall
Into this deep dark descent

Of missing you and loving you as much as ever
I’m holding on for dear life
If you come back, whenever

My hope is strong as is my resolve
Because I know in my heart
This love will never dissolve

So I fight through the pain and embrace the struggle
With the hope and belief
We may have another snuggle

But until that day, the days will remain dark
Until you return
And on our next adventure we embark

When I miss you now all I do is write
It may hurt my heart, but that I can fight
Put pen to paper and be contrite
All the while loving you with all of my might

I know I can’t call to say hello
Or even a text would be met by a no
So the options are limited, no way to go
But writing poetry for you, is all I know

It helps me to feel a little more close
Connected in some way, a tiny dose
I’m not sure what a therapist would diagnose
But I know its ‘cause I love you the most

And I wonder, if you could read what I write
Would your love for me feel a little more right
Would you think of me when you doze off tonight?
Would the thought of me bring you a little delight?

I saw you in my dreams last night
I guess, what else is new?
But this time felt so different
It felt so real and felt so true

I woke up today thinking
that it might actually have been real
Only to be reminded of the hope
and heartbreak that now I always feel

So I dragged my sadness out of bed
And went straight to the floor to pray
As the tears started to flow and I spoke to god
I asked him only for you today

So maybe he can make it so
And help you to realize I’m for you
That my love is all you want to know
And know that our love is true

It’s strange to me, I wonder if you feel the same
But when I sit back and ignore the pain
I think to the future and what it will be
I still always see you, right beside me

I’ve had this image for many years
That hasn’t been washed out by all the tears
Despite being apart and all the heartbreak
I know when I see it, it’s no mistake

Your hand in mine as we travel the road
The road unknown but with love its bestowed
The path for us it's out in the distance
I know we can get there with a little persistence

So with patience I wait for you to come around
Because true love can’t be fully unwound
It will always be there, like me waiting for you
To come back to my arms and show you its true

My love for you and our souls intertwined
That thing that most people only hope to find
It’s not always clear, not always defined
But you know how it feels with your hand in mine

How can I find the words to say to you?
After all the ups and downs we’ve been through
Together apart like a true work of art
Our love tells the story from the deepest part of the heart

It hasn’t been perfect, I’ll admit that
Not void of challenges we’ve had to combat
But as I sit and think for another day
There’s no one’s love for which I’d rather pray

As I did today and the day before
And will tomorrow from my floor
I’ll thank god for introducing us, first
And the next part I have rehearsed

I tell him how much you mean to me
And everything I love about your personality
And talk about how amazing you are
And how none of my feelings change from afar

I thank him for the last 5 years
The laughter, the kisses, and even the tears
I acknowledge how much you’ve helped me grow
And that you’ve been the most important person I’ve known

And then I pivot from all the blessings
And address the thing that is far more pressing
As my voice will crack and lip will quiver
I ask for your love could he please deliver
I explain again you are my soulmate
And what I would do for one more date
And once I finish professing my love
I kiss my hands and look to the heavens above

And ask he deliver a message to you
Of course, it something you already knew
I ask that he tell you I miss you so
I love you more than you may ever know

But I know there’s a plan, for us to unite
You may soon agree that I was right
And that’s what I pray for and try to foresee
That day that you remember it’s always been me

And when you come back, I’ll be lying in wait
Nervous and excited for our last first date
But as soon as our eyes lock and our gaze is sustained
We will remember that our has always remained

This feeling inside, it’s bare and hollow
My soul is empty as I continue to wallow
Filling the cracks with sadness and regret
Constant pain and heartache, unable to forget
Your face, your scent, the feel of your skin
You are burned deep into my core, within
I guess that’s why you visit me at night
In my dreams, the only time that things can feel right
I tried to give you my entire heart
Knowing if you left I would fall apart
I had no choice, it was desperation
‘Cause I couldn’t bear our separation
But I was too late and I don’t blame you at all
This is my fault, and mine alone as I continue to fall
And my only peace is the hope that I keep
That somewhere buried within and deep
That you think of me when you fall asleep
And sometimes those thoughts may cause you to weep
Because you know too we are meant to be
And you need some time, some time to see
Some time to be free, all alone from me
But one day you may wake up and agree
That the person you want to be with is me

Another week has come and gone
And more and more I feel withdrawn
But not from you or how I feel
Withdrawn from life and what is real

I spend all day looking at my phone
Hoping hoping to hear from you alone
Daydreaming of you and what the future could hold
What our lives would be like after we grow old

That call or text, it hasn’t come
As I spiral down in gloom and glum
But without hope, I am not
Because I believe you haven’t forgot

About our love and chemistry
And you know just what you mean to me
So when you’re ready to come on home
My mind will no longer roam

In thoughts of what could have been
And instead will focus on the life we’re in
And how we love deep down, within
So that our forever can begin

Have you felt pain that can take over your life?
A broken bone perhaps or been stabbed by a knife?
How long does it last, once you start to heal?
Eventually you’d regain that normal feel

Well what about the pain that in me
Its deep to my core nobody can see
The pain of asking god each and every day
“Point me to the path to to bring her back, I pray”

“I thank you for the moments that we shared together
The love, adventure, joy and laughter
I ask just one thing that I know is a lot
Reunite us again, before I completely rot”

Each day I utter this message alone
Hoping god will listen from his mighty throne
And that he will know that my words are full and true
And my message will be delivered to you

Until he does this pain will not cede
It remains inside no matter how much I plead
The fact that we remain apart
Will continue to pain me deep in my heart

I struggle to find the words today
But not because I have nothing to say
In fact it’s quite the opposite
It’s all the things I always admit

How much I love and care for you
And that I will forever too
I wish that you would feel it too
Then maybe we could start anew

And I could show how special you are
You’re more than just my shining star
You’re my entire universe
I guess explains how much this hurts

Not seeing you or speaking at all
My sanity continues to fall
Without your presence in my life
I face continuous internal strife

A cycle full of blame and regret
I spend my days in tears, upset
Looking at how far we’ve strayed
Due to the mistakes I made

So I continue on down this broken road
Heart in shambles my steps are slowed
Hoping you’ll come after me
To bring me back and let me be

The one for you to to be your man
From New York City to Japan
The lover that you really deserve
Your happiness to be preserved

Through thick and thin to have your back
To get our love right back on track
You and me for eternity
Just like the way it’s supposed to be

I’m sitting in the surf zone with some unrelenting waves
Glued to the coarse, tan sand below, it’s been like this for days

I sit and wait all by myself, knowing what will come next
A wave of love and missing you, the strength of which is flexed

It picks up speed and builds up strength and slams into my chest
My heart my soul my spirit too, gets violently oppressed

The wave moves by and I can breathe, a sudden calm sets in
But looking out I see what’s next, a new wave will begin

And this is how I spend my days, locked into the sand
Taking the brunt of each crashing wave, too much for me to stand

I dream of when we will rejoin, standing side by side
We’d feel so loved and full inside, the waves could be denied

Suddenly the tide would die, and we could stand at sea
Looking at the vast horizon, In love, we would be free

Free from the waves and endless pain, that comes without remorse
Free to carry on our lives, together, back on course

I know you want me to let you go
To let you leave and let you grow
Away from me indefinitely
With no promise to return to me

And part of me wishes I would
Just lay down and let you go if I could
But that would be not fighting for you
And doing a disservice to what we’ve been through

I once read something about love
And in my mind it shines above
All logic and all common sense
Because my love for you is immense

“I’d rather look like a fool for love
Than be a slave to my own ego”

And in my mind I know the odds
Which is why I keep looking to god
Because I could hear “no” a hundred times
And you could read me a hundred lines

And I would still be in love with you
And your love I would still pursue
Because one day you might change you mind
And again our love would be intertwined

But this time would be for ever and ever
Our lives together, an adventurous endeavor
That would end only when death came around
When our lives and love were renowned and profound

This road we’re on it started then
Two college kids, way back when

We started walking down the road
Together, but not getting too close
But as we moved along the trail
We inched closer with a brave exhale

The road ahead was really tough
Full of hills and turns and lots of bumps
But we carried on, walking in line
And eventually, your hand in mine

The bumps and hills, they came and went
And each incline followed by descent
Until we reached a fork in the road
A blind turn ahead, no future showed

You said “let's take the path to the left”
But the ears that it fell on had simply gone deaf
So I went right and was all alone
Staring into the great unknown

I ran back to the fork we had passed
And yelled your name and screamed and asked
“Can I still come and take your trail?!”
I heard only silence, to no avail

So back to my path I have to go
What is in store, I do not know
I wish I had followed you before
Together this, we could explore

Looking back as I walk alone
Thinking back to how we’ve grown
With each step I hope and I pray
Our paths to reunite and adjoin one day

When with you, I live
Full of love within my heart
Without, I exist