I struggle now, worse than before
Sliding down, falling through the floor
Reaching for your hand to keep me at bay
Hoping that you want me to stay

I saw you post an Instagram
and of course you look so great
I can't imagine it would be hard
for you to find a date
I hope that somewhere deep inside
you aren't ready yet
Because you think there is a chance
my love you won't forget

And so I cry and miss you so; thinking day
About our time together and how thankful I will stay
The greatest highlight of my life has been our love's ballet
And for another pirouette together, I do pray

Hey baby, I hope you are doing well
Better than me as I go through hell
I wanted to reach out, to say a couple of things
And perhaps pull a little on your heart strings

As we stand now, I continue to struggle
The grief, regret, depression I juggle
A day at a time, I keep moving along
But life without you, still just feels so wrong

I want you to smile and to know that you're happy
And I apologize if this gets a bit sappy
But its true that I love you and miss you more than ever
Searching for your love, like a pirate for treasure

I would love to talk and to hear from you
To hear about your life and everything that is new
And to tell you that I sought out some therapy
For my thoughts I needed some clarity

As I continue to focus and work on my health
I do it for us not only for myself
If you ever decide that you want to come back
I want to be ready with love to attack

But still I sit and try to respect your space
Because I don't know your thoughts and your place
But I do know now more than ever before
That the only thing I desire is the love that is yours

I don't hate you for not wanting to be with me
I don't even blame you because it's easy to see
I'm to blame for this hurt and this pain
And that's why it definitely won't cease and won't wane

In fact it's the opposite, I love you so
I love you and miss you more than you could know
And my heart is with you more than ever before
As i erode from inside, deep down in my core

When I look in the mirror, I hate what I see
I hate how my life has turned out to be
I hate that you are not a part of my days
And that's why I continue to live in this haze

The one thing that keeps me from staying in bed
From wishing that I would just simply drop dead
Is the hope that you gave me, that there may be a day
That you have a change of heart and will say:

"I miss you too and I want to be with you
And after some time it set in, that it's true
That you are the one, it's always been you
I want you in the rest of my life too"

So each day I wake from a bad night's sleep
And pray for you and for us and I weep
And hope that the future will bring your love back
The one thing I crave and that my my life lacks

I struggle now and every day
And I wish I didn't feel this way
A part of me is gone and dead
Filled with sadness and grief instead

The spiral down has not been slow
Deeper and deeper into depression I flow
Without your love and presence here
My mental state grows more severe

But yet I hope more than ever before
That eventually our love will restore
And when I reach out to say hello
You will still care and your love will show

How special you are, its hard to say
Without your love, I continue to decay
But still there's nothing I wouldn't do
To be together again, just me and you

The finest soul that there ever was
Your presence gives me the strongest buzz
Stronger than ***** or drugs ever could
That's why this long, my love has withstood

Right now the withdrawal is killing me
Craving, itching for your face to see
For your love to feel all around me
The one way to, again, feel happy

Did you know that I still dream of you?
And every day pray its not true
Hoping that there has been some mistake
That every night I stay awake

Thinking of you and if you're well
Hoping this wasn't a final farewell
But rather just a "see you soon"
That one day you may change your tune

That you will say you want me back
And while our relationship has a lot to unpack
You see a future for you and I
And I agree as a tear falls from my eye

You will always be my number one
Until the end when life is done
There will never be another to capture my love
The way that you have, so far and above

I miss you now more than ever before
And being apart hurts me to my core
I'm caught between a rock and a hard place
The decision to reach out again or give you more space

I miss you so much and what you would say
How you'd joke around in your cute, special way
I miss how you'd smile when I'd say "I love you"
And how you'd pretend to still play it cool

I still think of you throughout every day
Every moment I think and wish we did stay
Together as one, together in life
together in love; Eventually husband and wife