I fell further and further down
it’s like I thought
maybe I’ll come out the other side
or find a vein of gold
so I kept slipping
deeper and deeper into the shaft
but when I finally gave up
clinging to some narrow ledge
looking down
looking up
I realized all I had left
was a really long climb

I’m basically out now
though still staring
like Ahab
into the empty hole

being a mirror for someone
doesn’t make you any friends

they waited and waited and waited
but the sky never fell
and eventually
they fried that little chicken

see? I’m better
in the past this would have freaked me out
I would’ve thought it was you
again
everywhere
but I know now
it’s just other psychos
with their disturbed convictions
there’s plenty to go around

I know he wants to be alone
he recites to me a litany of no
but he also shouts
from behind his locked door
yes
and I wish he would just stop
one or the other

I just stare at the screen
the screen itself
—not any of the contents on it—
just the screen
an object of fantasy and lust
which is quite a modern fetish

sometimes, I have no skin
just raw
nerve, muscle, sinew, tendon
a flayed meat avatar
slick and red
wearing only
a nameless burning agony
calmed, satisfied, abated
somehow
through pain, and more pain
until subject and object dissociate
—I am not that
I am this other thing
this safe, perfect other thing
and she carries on
like a snake with a new skin
glistening, young, smooth
supple, wet

hazy thoughts
sleepy limbs
groaning bones
groaning alone
your face
in my mind
saying sleep
stay
snuggle

Monday is dragging me
rudely
towards Tuesday

life used to be harder when I thought words meant more
I was trapped on an unpleasant roller coaster of love and rejection, intimacy and abandonment
now that I realize words don’t mean so much
life is more equanimous
and less of everything else

I think it’s a positive development
that these days when I’m thinking
“idiot”
I’m mostly thinking you
and not me

eventually you were just
gone
and, even if you weren’t,
it didn’t matter anymore

that’s how things sometimes go

I saw a guy go by on his motorcycle
with his ******* the back
and I thought—
no, I felt—
I felt sad

I am all talk
my spirit animal is a mouse
I am gentle, sweet, nervous
I run in adorable circles
and make hidey holes
I do not bite, I cuddle
I am a very nice and easy pet

there was a grand stage
a tiny actor
and all this empty space
it was something

he woke drowsy
with a tuft of those
familiar
crinkly
hairs
in his mouth

his mind raced in this half sleep state

seconds later
fully conscious
he raced to the bathroom and
trimmed
his
beard

I’m moving on
I wish you’d come with me
but I’m moving on
I’m going to find someone
who wants to go on dates
spend time with me
in person
it doesn’t seem to be you
I can’t let either of you keep me
waiting like this
I’m moving on

dear Mr. Postman
I have shoveled the walk for you every time
every storm
every morning
every single day
sometimes twice a day
so please
please please
pretty please
no more bills

I was a beautiful, imaginary underwater creature
who swam joyfully in a small lake at the bottom of a cliff.
I lived in a subterranean cave with a horrifying mud monster.
He had only a gaping hole where his face should be.
I was mortally fearful of him
but he mostly hid, and protected me when the people hunted me.
He would emerge, roaring from the muck
throwing rocks and hunks of mud up at the beings in the light.
He frightened them fantastically.
I appreciated this,
and eventually thought,
maybe we could be friends.

I want to write something inspiring
words beautiful and strong that spur you to action
or prompt you to holler joyfully from rooftops
words that touch your heart in brotherhood and healing
words of comfort and understanding

but I am a simple being
I write of flowers and sun
wind and dreams
loneliness and truth
I would never coax action
where stillness is needed

look into yourself, I say
if your self says
run
run and hide
then do so, I say
do so
until your self says
I am bored
bored bored bored
until your self says
I am ready
for more

if it ever does
I say

come
come to me
I will dance with you
across the rainbow side of the moon
with kisses
and love
and the rest of time

the musk this evening
mixed with the dark cherry overtones
of smoke
I could fall in love with myself
if I wasn’t me

hmmm...
(tapping finger to lips)

(raises finger)
I can read this—
just a minute—
(lowers finger back to lips)

hmmm...
(tapping)

My brain isn’t trying to make sense anymore
My heart clings to the feeling it wants
I am frozen in your winter

I smile
I smile again
and again
I eat chocolate
I do other stuff

I will call her my girlfriend
since it is really me she is in love with
your obsession
with me

he is the only muse that ever existed
in all the world

you don’t know it
but you’re writing about him right now

my love cannot feel me
my love cannot see me
my love weeps
head bowed in hands
leaving my outstretched arms
empty

I feel really good about this thing
my self
I’m going to run it all over town
with sparkly flashing gear
and cool kicks

I tried composting my thoughts
to make a rich soil
where different thoughts would grow
but they just spun in the air over the bins
like little cyclone fairies
dispersing strange seed into the wind
now my yard is a mysterious canvas
sprouting the ebullient descendants
of those magical first thoughts

you did my thing for a while
then I did your thing for a while
(sorry I wasn’t so good at your thing)
but I figure it’s my turn now again anyway

it’s another heartfelt day for living and loving and healing
another day full of opportunities and chances and destinies fulfilled
another day for letting go,
dreaming big,
and believing in yourself
another day to let truth, beauty, and gratitude expand your heart

may you feel hope today
may you feel excitement
and joy
above all, may you feel loved
as you are
as I love you
today, tomorrow, and forever
in darkness
and in light

I am taking slow small breaths
in my square of sun
I am feeling wonderful
I am feeling shy
I am feeling naughty

I would like to take your hand
lead you down a path of never ending blooms
the way it is in my heart
when I think of you

Atreyu’s horse sinks steadily into the mud
his weak limbs cease to move
white coat turns dark
his heart races in fear as he’s slowly entombed
Atreyu shrieks in tears
pulling on him not to give up
it’s no use
the swamp of sadness has swallowed hope
Artax is gone
Atreyu must go on alone
with only his grief and memory

I like your pretty new car
I wish it didn’t take you so far
away
everyday I wish on a star
that you would stay close in my har
t

things are never black and white
unless you are a lover of penguins

he’s beautiful
every time I see a new picture
I want to live in it forever
I want to leap off the cliff
and glide into the valley
surrender to ocean current
let it carry me to uncertain sea
step off the platform
and be hit by the train

I just want that rush
injected straight into my heart
wake suddenly from the lonely dream
panting and gasping and grasping

and he is there
eyes, arms, flesh, blood, love, love, love

though it was a good price
it did not have the right dimensions
so I didn’t buy it

I will be available for eternity
next month

I have a nice feeling
I’m not sure what it is
but it’s nice

I am all out of smart *** gas for the night
but I have other
more combustible sentiments
to keep you warm

anxiety is riding me
I am tired and unwell
spaceships invaded
massive buildings of red light
passing through, melting giant creatures
reordering their beings
I hid in fear
but they followed me easily
I attracted them into existence

my head hurts
maybe I am dehydrated

if you were here
I would take your hands
put them around my waist
slink close to you
with **** slow hips
expectantly meet your fingers
with my body
inviting you to roam
to find your favorite places
and the ones that catch my breath
while I explore you with my mouth
my teeth
my tongue
our bodies would sink together
our clothes coming off
we pulse like one mind
only feeling exists
trust and safety and pleasure
you and I

I’m a prisoner of wanting
a failure as a Buddhist
but an excellent lover
carried, as I am
into nirvana
by gentle ****** love

please don’t **** on me
I’m not into that
and I’m sorry but
we have no public restroom

volcanic quaking
inescapable shaking
noise taking
surprise awakening

my poetic license was called into question due to a recent incident on the poetry highway
but the cops showed up and cleared me
they determined it was the other guy’s fault

you have no idea...
well, ok, you have some idea
aw hell, who am I kidding
you have tons of ideas
you’re a freaking idea machine!!
it’s just...
none of them are right

the solar system is spiraling
towards a new constellation
creating new wonders

the fox visited two hen houses
one of the chickens lost her head
ran off
and never came back