If you have an endless supply of nothings
In all their mystery
In all their beauty
In all their majesty
In all their enigmatic auras...

...Do you really have anything at all?

There are voices, voices in my head,
When all I want is calm instead,
To be free from fear and cold and dread,
So I can find the rest that waits ahead.

There are voices, voices in my mind,
but I know not what they seek to find.
They just fight and tear and rip and grind,
and leave the real me behind.

There are voices, voices in my heart,
And this is what they now impart:
"In beauty, drama, dance and art,
that is where the healing starts."

The waves are rather strong
but do not allow yourself
to be consumed by fear.
Unfamiliarity is a friend today.

An adventure need not be vibrant
to be exciting.
Grey can be just as much fun as other colors.
Do not be afraid to take the first step.

Once you are comfortable in the water
you will have no problems finding me
for mine is the most beautiful boat
on this great sea of nothingness...

I get so tired of staring at these things.

Tall. Ugly. Foreboding...

For so many years I have wrapped them around myself.

Thick, dense, fortified.

No one can get in.

And I can't get out.

Prisoner to the shallow fortress

Of my own sin.

Break them down! I say.

Smash them to pieces!

But it is not to be.

The barriers of the past do not fall easily.

Far too many bricks for an easy triumph.

Far too strong a storm for the sun to crack.

So let the rain come.

And I'll stay here in my brokedown castle.

Kept far away from freedom.

And right against the gates of nothingness.

*** Da Da Dum
Load up all those guns boys,
the enemy is coming.

*** Da Da Dum
We'll mow 'em down now one by one,
send those ******* running.

*** Da Da Dum
March day or night in rain or calm,
through the grass and mud.

*** Da Da Dum
Smoke them out wherever they are,
make the streets run red with blood.

*** Da Da Dum
We stand outnumbered two to one,
but we won't give up the zone.

*** Da Da Dum
We knew when we signed up for this,
we probably wouldn't make it home.

They're coming, they're coming.
Come on, get out of bed.
Start running, start running,
unless you'd rather be dead.

They're shooting, they're shooting,
keep your head low.
They're looting, they're looting.
Everything's gonna go!

They're screaming, they're screaming,
"****** death to the poor!"
It's seeming, it's seeming,
things have rot to the core.

They're fighting, they're fighting,
anyone in their way.
Flame igniting, flame igniting,
it won't be held at bay,

They're rushing, they're rushing,
They've cut off every route.
So crushing, so crushing.
Can't escape the pursuit.

They've found us, They've found us,
there's no where to run.
All around us, all around us,
The end has begun.

You fought so long.
Gave it every ounce you had.
The war is not over.
But your time on the front lines
has reached a noble end.
As you go, do not worry about the battle.

We'll take the flame.
We'll take the pain.
We'll march through rain.
We'll stake our claim.

We know how much
You'd still love to be out there.
We know how proud
to wear the colors you were.
Now, let us wield the weapon
and honor the road you traveled.

We'll take the flame.
We'll fight the strain.
We'll break the chains.
We'll stake our claim.

Rest, mighty warrior.
Rest, great soldier.
Rest.

We'll take the flame.

This house lies in rubble.
A veritable pit.
Are there not more remains?
Is this all? Is this it?

My skin is damaged,
and stained with red blood.
Devastation comes
Like a torrential flood.

There was no sympathy.
We never had trust.
In the shadows of betrayal,
I fade into dust.

The body mimicking what the heart feels?

A doorway to love and affection?

A brief moment of wonder in an otherwise joyless life?

A child's way of saying: "I'm okay"?

Another way to mask the pain?

Or perhaps, the subtle beginnings of happiness?

It is what it is,
tell the parents,
tell the kids.
A little bit of take
and a little bit of give.

It is what it is.
It's how we die.
It's how we live.
We keep up on the score,
We keep our spirit off the skids.

Got to take care of the biz,
Some is mine,
Some is his,
And all that's left to say
is that it is what it is.

Reality is a jungle it seems.
The world shutting down before me.
I have no desire to dance among the flames.
I only wish to remove myself
From this chaotic society,
For as long as I possibly can.
In that vein
I ask only one thing of you:

Put your hand upon my shoulder,
Put your hand upon my shoulder,
Put your hand upon my shoulder
and please wake me when its over.

There are some provisions in the storehouse.
And I have wood to keep me warm.
A couple of months supply of water.
To quench my empty thirst.
I miss the hugs, I miss the laughing
I miss the togetherness.
Nothing more can I do now
than soldier on like all the rest.


Put your hand upon my shoulder,
Put your hand upon my shoulder,
Put your hand upon my shoulder
and please wake me when its over.

Your heart was pure and decent,
Your spirit kind and good.
I love you more than anything,
and I did all that I could.

I watched you from the first day,
I saw you learn and grow.
You changed my life and warmed my soul,
In ways you’ll never know.

Now you're where the angels walk,
Safe from harm and fear.
And one day when the sun shines bright,
I'll join you there my dear.

It's never easy with the emptiness,
I don't like to be apart.
But on this journey that I'm taking
I'll always keep you in my heart.

No matter where I go my child,
No matter what I do.
I know one day, where the angels walk,
Once again, I’ll walk with you.

There was so much I never told you,
A world of wonder left to share.
Now I’m left with a hollow place,
That’s difficult to bear.

But I know you're where the angels walk,
in the shining glory of the sun.
My precious darling sweetie bug,
Your trial on earth is done.

When I shall finally go there,
To the wondrous golden shore,
I'll meet you where the angels walk,
and hold you forevermore.

I rarely get pulled over.
I don't often get strange looks.
If a police officer sees me,
They pass right by.

I go about my day without worry
over what problems my skin
may cause me this time around.

As I live my life,
I occasionally hang my head
as I think about those
Who can never live as freely as I do.

And in that moment
I am cursed with a thousand questions
For which I fear there is no good answer.

I've got a date on the top of the world tonight,
The sky is brilliant and clear,
Spreading my wings, such glorious things,
Across the horizon appear.

Altitude 20 000 give or take a few miles,
As we dance atop this old earth,
The great sun gives way to the star filled foray,
As a new blanket of night's given birth.

In the distance grows a dim mass of grey.
Storm clouds are waving hello.
Nasty things in the air, they don't even care
That I've got my places to go.

A calming voice says there's nothing to fear,
Everything is under control,
But then there's a shake. a shift and a quake.
A dip and twist and a roll.

Old mother nature staking her claim,
stronger than the power of man.
But I'm here to stay, she won't beat me today,
That was never a part of the plan.

Soon the great landscape grows closer below,
with a slick and gradual dive.
At last the descent or whatever was meant,
By the mysteries that fill up the sky.

I wondered why the sky is blue,
and why you love me the way you do.

I wondered, as I enjoyed the view
if all of what I'd heard was true.

I wondered when I'd earn my due
and if I'd ever make it through.

I wondered, would I ever bid adieu
from this path of life askew?

Then I knew.

I'm at war with the verses lying inside my head,
Should I have been a doctor or plumber instead?
Some other job to be content and productive,
And not chained to this verse, this lyric destructive.

If words can be weapons and a lyric hold power,
Then I grow more dangerous hour by hour.
Slave to the adjective, linked to the verb,
Trapped by each subtle nuance I observe.

A wellspring of discontent, driven by rage,
My life, my heart bleeds out on to the page.
It's not simple grammar but linguistic frustration,
That lends itself perfectly to my situation.

See now my soul spread out on the paper,
A storm of calamity that won't seem to taper.
I am the victim of an invisible crime,
Entrapped by a pattern, a rhythm, a rhyme.

Trying, but failing, I can't even think,
Stuck in this ******* at the whim of the ink.
Now see the other side to the life of a poet,
I am without direction or control and I show it.

Laid upon the sheets, my struggle abounds.
I want quiet right now but I hear deafening sounds!
I cannot get out of this word laden den.
This is my sentence, a life in the pen.

I have no name...
No identity...
No destiny....

I am the child of nothingness,
The feted offspring of anonymity.
I feel neither pleasure nor pain.
I am but an afterthought,
A forgotten shadow in a valley of lights.
I do not yearn to explain my existence,
I simply accept it.

There are those of us meant to thrive in ambiguity,
To embrace the power of the obscure.

I seek not rewards nor accolades,
My only desire is to remain an enigma.
I am the lone soldier in the War of the Mundane,
Forever cloaked from the eyes of the world.

I am Nothing...
I am No one...
I am simply...

...X.

Welcome to a place called addiction.
It's not as fun as it looks.
Beneath the smiles there is only eternal sadness.
Beneath the fullness there is only empty space.
We have plenty of distractions.
and plenty of destructions.

We're pretty easy to find.
Just start following the broken road
and stop once you get past markers
for failed relationships and lost jobs.
Keep your eyes out for the depression signs.
And the constant noise of suicide alley.

There are only two roads out of town.
One takes you back the way you came.
The other to certain death.
No need to make a choice right now.

You can stay with us as long as you want...

You love me,
but don't show it.

You hurt me,
but don't know it.

I give things,
and you take them.

I share dreams,
and you break them.

You trap me,
but don't see it.

You kiss me,
but don't feel it.

I get up again,
one final try.

I leave forever,
a cold goodbye.

You lost me at "I love you",
and that seems so very strange
You lost everything you could have had,
The day you made that change.

You lost me at "I love you",
and I'd already bought the flowers,
Thinking of your pretty smile,
for what seemed hours upon hours.

You lost me at "I love you",
What a fateful night it was.
When I learned of hollow heartbreak,
and the awful things it does.

I saw you with the other man,
and was hurt to great degree.
You lost me at "I love you",
Because it wasn't said to me.

Young man, look at my life.
Was it worth the pain and strife?
Jagged like a rusty knife,
That's been left out in the cold.

Went in search of paradise,
Saw my dreams in front of my eyes.
But as the days and years rolled by,
I put them all on hold.

Walked the road that most men walk,
Settled down and punched the clock,
Now, I'm grey and taking stock
of everything I lost.

Trust me son, you don't want this,
faded dreams and a bucket list,
A life spent far away from bliss,
with all the pain it brought.

My knees are hurting,
but my hair isn't grey.
My abs aren't flat,
but I still enjoy playing sports.

I go to bed earlier,
yet I still want to have fun.
I don't move as quickly,
but I still love to dance.

I'm a littler wiser in moments,
but foolish in others.
Sometimes I'm the adult,
Sometimes I'm the kid.

I accept the fact
that middle age comes for me.
But I reserve the right
to stay young as long as I can.

I gave you flowers
and jewelry.
I gave you clothes
and new shoes.
I gave you perfume,
and lipstick.
I gave you love
and affection.
I only wanted one thing
in return.

But then
In a moment of loneliness
it dawned on me.

How can you give me
that which you never had?