i do not believe in god
but i do believe in poetry
and for me
maybe poetry is prayer
and the universe
is an unwavering ear
in the shape of a god

Sorry.
I want to apologize for that last one.
Maybe I lost my temper a bit and that's not cool.

I just find lately when I sit down and put my hands on the keyboard,
with everything going on I just get so angry.

Angry at myself.
Angry at the world we live in.

Me in the far future,
Thinking about my younger years,
Knowing it's a platonic relationship,
'Cause I would never want to go back,
Constantly feeling I'm on the wrong track.

Everything is more peaceful now,
I've let go of the painful nights,
But I still want to miss it,
Just not getting too close to it,
'Cause I don't want to be young anymore,
I wish I wasn't young anymore.

What You think of Seneca?
I could be Your Lucilius,
Since there are many things I don't know,
Feels and things I don't show.

And every time, You make me wonder,
You're a thief but You never plunder,
Living with a moral compass,
You don't care about what they told us.

Charismatic, magnetic,
Words not enough to describe You,
Time after time I try to,
Not to talk about You.

Not to talk about You,
Not to think about You,
Not to dream about You,
My life not to be about You.

'Cause: "I am not to speak to You, I am to think of You when I sit alone or wake at night alone"
And I have to accept that,
Even if I'm not there yet.

I feel so alive,
Pumbed up, high,
And then I fall down,
Crash, break, cry.

I take long lonely walks,
In places to where no one comes,
So I can be alone with my sorrow,
I need a new life that I could borrow.

And I try to tell myself to stop thinking,
About unreal scenarios,
,,You need to stop daydreaming!"
You can feel your soul and heart breaking.

I envy those people,
They are living their best lifes,
And I'm here alone,
Still stuck in the past times.

It's only my fault
That I can't get out of this mud
That glues me to one place
It feels like a hell of a long phase, when

I feel so alive,
Pumped up, high,
And then I fall down,
Crash, break, cry.